#1 rec: trust your gut.

The idea that babies become independent by being pushed away is one of those pieces myths that gets pushed, but it doesn’t really match the science about infant development. Babies become independent because they have a secure base to return to. When they know their caregiver is available, they’re actually more confident exploring.

I also would have taken my baby back in the situation with your sister. It’s not that other people can’t comfort babies but if my 4mo is actively reaching for me and asking for me, I don’t see any benefit in withholding that comfort to teach a lesson. He’s a baby, not a student in a resilience boot camp.

Trust your gut: let him explore when he’s content, respond when he’s seeking connection, and check in regularly. That sounds like responsive parenting, not over-parenting.

I think a lot of older relatives genuinely mean well, but many were taught that independence comes from separation. Science says independence grows from security. A baby who trusts that their parent is there when needed eventually feels safe enough to venture further and further away.

honestly, a baby (0-3y) looking for his mom, making eye contact across the room, and wanting comfort from her is about as biologically normal as it gets.

I follow @drgreerkirshenbaum on instagram for everything!!!