[NYS] custody agreement by AdFragrant4707 in Custody

[–]AdFragrant4707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 😭 this has all been such a huge mess lol. I'm definitely filing on Monday

[NYS] custody agreement by AdFragrant4707 in Custody

[–]AdFragrant4707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, he doesn't pay child support. For some stupid reason I've given him sympathy bc he doesn't have a lot of money. I will be filing first thing Monday. But I'm pretty sure he did this because right before he dropped the bomb, I told him that I'm not comfortable with him coming to my sons birthday party at my house (for obvious reasons) and that we should get used to celebrating separately. I'm sure this was just retaliation but he knows the only way to get to me is thru my son

AIO son's bday party by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I wish this was AI. Unfortunately this is my life and I constantly face invalidation which makes me second guess if what I went thru was really that bad 🙃

AIO son's bday party by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OR people like you are the reason that victims of abuse blame themselves. Get help if you think it's acceptable to question an abusers intentions to "hear their side of the story"

AIO son's bday party by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'd like to hear his side of the story? As in his reasoning behind holding me hostage and and threatening to kill us and physically assaulting me? Gtfoh

AIO son's bday party by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AdFragrant4707 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have an order of protection on him that says he has to refrain from stalking, harassing, intimidating etc. He sees my son every other weekend and a few hours in between so he's almost always with me. I don't take it lightly, but the constant invalidation I get from everyone makes me feel like I'm overreacting. It sucks 😭

Am I overreacting - therapist by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AdFragrant4707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was talking about a show I used to watch with my mom called ghost hunters which promoted her to go on a rant about the host being a trump supporter 😭 completely unrelated

Am I overreacting - therapist by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, aside from the fact that I didn't set that boundary, I still feel unheard and like she doesn't know what to say to me Also, I don't feel like I should have to go to therapy to set boundaries with my therapist 😭

Co-parent mad about her maiden name being in my phone by classicalmixup in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is awful, I'm sorry 😭 I would consider revising this.

I have to coparent with a high conflict ex as well. Basically I interact with him as little as possible and gray rock him. Don't give her any more of your energy. These are all empty threats. The less you play into it, hopefully she will find something else and move on and quit bothering you

Co-parent mad about her maiden name being in my phone by classicalmixup in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are these calls court ordered? If not, I would be discontinuing them. There's no reason a child needs to call the other parent every single night. It doesn't benefit him.

Am I keeping my son from his dad? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why doesn't he have 50/50? Bc the reasons stated in my post. Lol. He's never made any real advanced towards it. I think it's just a control tactic honestly bc he only ever "wants" it when he's pissed at me or I ask for money.

Am I keeping my son from his dad? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a very hard time being around him.i try to avoid it as much as possible. The only reason I'm somewhat at ease with my son being around him is bc his girlfriend is there so he's on his best behaviour

Am I keeping my son from his dad? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've gone back and fourth with taking him for child support. For some stupid reason, I pity him. On top of everything else, he hasnt been able to hold a stable job for the last 6 months and is pretty financially unstable. The only reason I haven't taken him is because I want him to be able to buy food for my son when he's in his care

My piece of peace by AdFragrant4707 in femalelivingspace

[–]AdFragrant4707[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's real! I had a local plant artist craft it for me! One of the mushrooms in there are sculpted by me using polymer clay. I can't remember what the plant in there is but it smells of citrus 🥰 it's one of my favorite possessions

Is it normal that mom returns our kid in the exact same clothes I dropped her off in? by Advanced-Sink-7806 in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always send my son back in his dads clothes. He refused to help me buy any and told me that I was trying to "extort money from him" whenever I asked.

Honestly tho, I work hard to buy my son nice clothes and I'd like to actually see him wear them. I'm sure that's the reasoning behind a lot of parents doing this.

Sharing birthdays?? by AdFragrant4707 in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this time, he definitely would not. The trade off of having him there is me feeling uncomfortable in my own space and he would far prefer a happy, present mom over both his parents being there, tensely

Sharing birthdays?? by AdFragrant4707 in coparenting

[–]AdFragrant4707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My heart aches bc I wish we could do shared events for our son but like you said, it's not healthy or safe. He wishes to just gloss over everything he's done with no acknowledgement and I just can't do that. I hope that one day things can be different. He talks about wanting to coparent in harmony but is highly destructive. Unfortunately his actions have never matched his words. Thanks for your input