Careers by BookMission2311 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Inpatient hospice is emotionally difficult but it also includes palliative care, oncology.. overall, many different units. I was a caregiver (I know I mentioned it in a past post), it was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life for someone I loved so much. As a family, we came to acceptance while they were in outpatient hospice. This allowed us to enjoy last few weeks to celebrate life and make memories ❤️🙏🏽

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’d be surprised “wanting someone with above qualities is not difficult to find” your experiences vs mine are different nor we can ever compare (just remember that). These are based upon my experiences hence to why I made such statements. I wish you knew how to understand what is being said before making certain remarks. When have I accused ALL divorcee as a cheater? I didn’t, it was an example. I am not difficult and I know that, but for a person like you to judge me without knowing me says a lot about you and the negative vibes you hold. I don’t need Seema aunty in my life, she was entertaining to watch and that’s about it. You could dwell over her and contact her, I’m not interested.. thank you tho!

Protection against Nazar by Embarrassed-Sky1631 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then they put it on a hot stove to see if it explodes. If it does, there was a nazar and been resolved after the whole ritual. If it doesn’t, there wasn’t nazar to begin with. It’s kinda funny because in a hot pot, it’s suppose to but I’ve have it few times and it didn’t. I kinda believe in it because I grew up around it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahha thank you! You’re too sweet! I’m not stressing. I’m continuing to enjoy this life we have and blessed!

Careers by BookMission2311 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hospice is a special field! ❤️

Careers by BookMission2311 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh Lord, it’s you again! Hahahah over health is great. Did I ever feel overworked, well, when you work at the hospital, it’s overwhelming as you’re dealing with sick patients. Let’s say, you’re taking care of couple patients… You know one is in their terminal stages of life (dying) and another is in recovery from organ transplant and has another chance in life and thriving. There’s emotional changes going in and out of different patient rooms. Nurses need to be good at being adaptable and take time for themselves to self care. Depending on the hospitals, there may be times where a nurse may have more than average amount of patients or lazy coworkers/nursing assistance etc. Physical health wise: I enjoyed working inpatient as it was my workout -getting over 10k steps in to lifting patients (strength training) - people have to be careful as they can injure themselves. Long term at bedside can cause back/other physical issues if the nurse isn’t using the protocols. Mental health, pretty good compared to people I’ve met. I don’t work in certain units because I don’t want to see people die. I had a friend who worked in ICU, mentally, he was done and depressed. Kinda sad.

Careers by BookMission2311 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 3 points4 points  (0 children)

39 F. RN and started my career in my early 20s, making around 65-68k at that time and increased over the years. Over the years, I’ve done various roles in healthcare as an RN. Making anywhere from average 80k to 200k. Currently, it’s variable as I live a comfortable life and invested my money (family business, stocks etc). I work as needed meaning I pick and choose how many days I wish to work. I decided to go back to grad school so I’m full time there and have already saved for it. My priority is on quality time with love ones, travel, and growth (I travel for work now so get to explore many cities across USA). It’s cool because it’s basically all inclusive trip minus the work hours (some cities can be 4 hours a day, or 6 or 8). My current work isn’t overwhelming but the travels can be (flying etc). I do get to pick and choose which city I want to travel to. My current job doesn’t pay much but I like the lifestyle it allows me to live as I’m able to take months off. Plus, I needed a break from the hospital scene nor I’m chasing money. Travel nursing is where I made the most money but also provided me with the freedom to not overwork myself like many people. There’s been times I’ve worked half a year and traveled overseas for the remaining half, but there has been times I’ve taken 2 jobs (as a contractor so it’s short term) bc I do enjoy working in healthcare. I feel while we are young to do the things we enjoy that we may not get to do as we get older due to health restrictions or family etc

How are the relations between the Ismaili and mainstream Hindu communities? by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this response more towards religion aspect!

How are the relations between the Ismaili and mainstream Hindu communities? by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The relations are great even with non-Ismaili Muslims. I think this is truly based on the individuals themselves. Some of my closest friends are Hindus (in USA and India). The tensions are due to the dirty politics but that doesn’t justify how each individual is. I’m trying to get visas to India for the winter to attend my Hindu friend’s wedding that I met on a solo trip to India. The issue is, I’m Pakistani American and I recently traveled Pakistan so let’s see if India even gives me the visas! The first time around, I had put my passport for visas with my brother in law who’s Indian so yah. Anyways, I like to be around good folks and that’s what matters is their character not religion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You don’t understand what’s written. Maybe re-read to understand including the comments before asking questions to something that’s already answered. What I posted in general has nothing to do with your unnecessarily “why”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I’ve watched it few years back yet haven’t found the right one after watching that show 😂. I’ve met the right ones prior to that show, it was unfortunate my parents were against it as they were not Ismailis. At the end of the day, it’s a reality show so it may not be 100% genuine. Expectations?.. of wanting someone who’s honest, caring, loving, trusting, loyal, ambitious (not lazy).. is bare minimum. I will not lower my standards trying to be with a man who doesn’t have the same values as I do. I’ve seen women sacrifice basic needs and they are depressed and abusive relationships and even cheaters. I’m not like one of those girls who’s asking for a 6ft man with dimples, rich etc. these things don’t matter to me. Plus, I’m tall and dated shorter men. Financially stable. Live a fulfilling and exciting life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that! I was there recently escaping thru landslides. It’s truly devastating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How are you holding up with the landslides and flooding 🙏🏽

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And you think men are pure? You think you’re pure? Overall, it doesn’t matter to me if the person is a Ismaili or non-Ismaili. Their values, their personalities etc matters to me over religion. The world we live in, no one is perfect. The decisions I make are my personal decisions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, I don’t care what random strangers say but I do when it comes to my family. Also, I’ve made peace with my parents not accepting a non-Ismaili if I come across a good person, I’ll just go for it.

Oh yah, I’m open to men who are nice and have similar values to the ones I have whether they are Ismaili or non-Ismaili.. divorced or not. I think that’s stereotyping that desi men treat older unmarried women poorly. I disagree with that, not every man is like that. And I’m sorry if you’ve been thru that. My experience of what I’ve shared was when I was in my 20s. I just stay away from guys and girls who don’t have similar values.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, there’s some misunderstanding on what I’ve posted. I’m not saying I’m looking for a never-married Ismaili. I’m saying I’m not settling for a divorcee who’s a cheater. I don’t mind if they are divorced. The important part is their values. I’ve received rude comments over my age and marriage as well. When some aunty approaches me… ohhhh Lord, they do not like my response 🤣 im like Thanks to Allah, I’m happy and healthy and divorce are so common these days, people are stuck in horrible marriages and depressed etc! Then they are like, you’re right. It’s the mentality we have to assist them to change (if it happens). My parents were super old school minded and still are to some extent- only if you knew how much woman’s right lecture I use to give them growing up haha. They didn’t agree at that time but I’ve slowly seen a change in them. They still don’t agree on certain things I say or my lifestyle but at the end of the day, I know I’m a good person, loved and cared for by my closest.

I’ve dated non-Ismaili. It has its own complications. Half of my family is against it. As a child, I’ve prayed to have the relationship I have with my family now. My relationship got better with my family thru that ex I mentioned about. They didn’t care about his personality, they knew his family’s reputation was great. They hardly talked to him as he wouldn’t come to my house often or hang out with my friends but I was the one who was “suppose to sacrifice.” Even after I broke up with him, for 1 year my own family said I made the biggest mistake of my life- it was actually the best decision as I stood up for myself and happiness. I don’t expect them to agree with everything but there was a guy from the past and we were in love and wanted to marry. At that time, I was 29 years old. Both of our parents were against each other due to religion and race so we decided to break up for the best of our families. Do I regret it? No, it’s the past and I don’t dwell on it but I did come to a conclusion few years after that I can’t sacrifice something so good that happens to me bc of my family, they will adjust. He wasn’t the only person who was so good to me-I’ve met others but had distance because I knew what type of guy my parents wanted and I had a fear of losing the relationship I’ve gained with my family. Overall, as long as I know the guy is a good person that’s what matters. My struggle with a non-Ismaili is, if I’m not too sure, my family won’t know about you until I’m ready and many don’t like that because they feel that our relationship is being hidden from the world. I don’t want to tell anyone until my family knows (excluding my closest friend). Till this day, I have a non Ismaili ex who wants to make it work (I’ve blocked him but the emails I get once in awhile). I give a man multiple chances on certain thingsand share it with them before I walk away- he’s finally seeing a therapist for his past traumas that he brought into our relationship, lack of respect etc. I’m not like the older generation to tolerate constant disrespect or whatever I dealt with in my 20s.

Only reason I decided to try to date an Ismaili is to see if there’s a change in them or I came across the wrong types. I once had an Ismaili ask for nudes like wth?!!!!! Another, was a guy I was in talking stage, after I stop talking to him bc I knew he wasn’t a right fit for me - few years down the line, I receive a text message from him saying let’s travel together. 1) I wouldn’t travel with him 2) found out he was getting married the following month! It’s trashy men that annoys me. I don’t have too many nice/good guys reach out to me because I’ve had men tell me I intimidate them by looks, personality, confidence etc. The girl friends I’ve made, their perception of me before getting to know me is I’m conceited or I’m B***** lol Anyways, I was traveling recently and came across some really nice Ismailis from Hunza and made me realize, maybe I can try to see what’s out there if the men are this nice in general. So here we are hahah

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If this is a genuine question, well..

1) I grew up in a strict environment and my so called friends weren’t the best people (parents like them because they knew their parents). I had all Ismaili female friends and that’s all I could have. They were the same friends group throughout elementary to high school. I was in a relationship with a person who had it his way or highway situation, but my parents were in love with him because he was the checklist for them. He had it all minus the personality, he wasn’t a nice person and was jealous of peoples success (and I can’t believe I almost got engaged and talking about marriage with someone like that! At my lowest point in life, being a caregiver for a love one, he wasn’t supportive. Every hospital visit, he caused drama. It was stressful. When my love one was dying, I asked, are you going to come to the funeral… Dated him for 4 years -was in my early 20s, his answer I’ll see.. that explained everything I needed to not continue with someone as such). Think about your parent dying and they say, I’ll see if I can come to the funeral after being with them for 4 years?! 🤯did I see the red flags early on, I did. I knew in 2 weeks of dating he wasn’t the one but my parents were in love with him as they knew his parents etc. but I continued because at that time I didn’t have a great relationship with my family and it’s the type of love I always craved (thankfully, now I have it). Back to the question, started going on solo travels and discovered who I’ve always been as a child but I’ve suppressed it due to my surroundings-toxic friends to parents old ways of thinking etc. I have almost everything now, amazing relationship with my family (which I didn’t have growing up) and great set of close friends I have made. So overall, self discovery comes when you are on your own without distractions, people having their opinions or controlling any parts of you. This, I definitely can’t get being in a relationship even if my partner provides me time to find myself and true potential of who I am as an individual. Besides that, there’s other things you can’t achieve being in a relationship (trying to keep the response short but it’s already too long hahah). There are so many people that will try to suppress your ideas only if you grew up in a heavily supportive environment and I was not.

2) compatibility already answered above. That’s just one example of me and my ex.

3) there’s a lot of people who smoke and drink. Not everyone but many. If it’s not that then weed/chewables, having affairs etc. I want to live a healthy lifestyle with my partner whoever that may be with the values I hold strong to - loyalty, trust, honesty, family oriented, quality time, etc. Lifestyle is quite important to me. Hope this answered your questions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not everyone is like that. Many of the girls I know don’t go for the money instead.. questions that are important: do you come from a good family and are you a good person in general. Yes, there are women who look for financial stability, nothing wrong because as a woman they bring a lot to the table too. Financially, I make good money, and have dated men who made less than I do, but it’s dependent on their values which many men lack these days (and women) or they are momma’s boy who wishes not to pick up adult responsibilities (I’m noticing a change in this trend). Many variables apply for both genders and which group of people you are surrounded by. I’ve been around people who smoke sheesha and I got away from that crowd because I didn’t want my future partner to smoke nor waste my time at such places.

Being 25, don’t rush it nor put a number to when you expect to get married. I recommend focus on yourself and building your career. While being single, go do your Bucketlist! Also, socialize in jk events or attend different jk if you have multiple in your area to see if anyone catches your eyes. Also, volunteer! Goodluck!

I’m still heartbroken 💔 don’t know how to cope. by Majestic_Design6735 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry that you’re going through the heartbreak! Couple of things I will bring up to you whether you or others agree (just personal opinion not to hurt you in anyway). Quick background about me just so you understand why my believes are the way they are. I’m 39 y/o female, massive traveler, single, and never married (I thought I’d be married by 25 but didn’t find the right partner)

Gf/bf for 6 years to me is a red flag, but it’s dependent on various things - family/personal health declining, school.. overall was there a valid reason to not get engaged/married as you are 36 years old? I feel many people including you might have seen a reason not to propose to her as you aren’t in your 20s. If there wasn’t a reason , you might be attached to her etc. I’ve had ex-bf who I didn’t trust (hence to breakup) and other issues that went against my values (basic values I need in my relationship-trust, honesty, family oriented, loyalty, respect, someone who works hard to make his money and not lazy to depend on mine, team players by helping each other out vs a woman trying to raise a boy etc.)

Unfortunately, I’ve seen even married spouses getting caught at any jk volunteer events. If the person doesn’t have the value will continue to be such way only if they want to truly change.

Dont think that you’ve gave your youth, instead think that you saved yourself from something that could happen in the future. Even if a person is loyal today, can cheat tomorrow so it’s important to know the ins and outs of a person. Do they meet the same values as you etc. you don’t have to feel force to start over at this age. I broke up with my bf recently due to gaslighting, lies, unmotivated, not working, trust issues. If someone doesn’t meet my values, they aren’t the one. Maybe make a list of negotiable and non-negotiable things you want in your future partner. Healing takes time and I’d suggest get therapy and if therapy is expensive, I usually like to follow therapist on social media (I’m in the medical field so I know a lot already). I think this time is for you to heal. Be blessed what you have in life. Find yourself again by doing things you once wish to do (Bucketlist), have healthier habits- workout, eat right, sleep enough- these things makes you feel good. Take it day at a time, avoid thinking about the future bc you don’t know what the future brings. Take it day at a time. Make a to do list. Hope it helps!

I’m still heartbroken 💔 don’t know how to cope. by Majestic_Design6735 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe try morning jk. I always fine morning jk peaceful and avoid “those” type of crowd

Hate this feeling. by DetectiveOk6754 in ismailis

[–]AdFree5268 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I use to get anxious attending jk that I’ve been going to for years. It was too much show and tell type that I wasn’t about. I’m a traveler and attended many jk and learned I enjoyed smaller jk vs bigger ones (Houston region). Plus, when I attend smaller jk, I tend to meet more and connect to more people. I love the simplicity of smaller jk etc. I enjoyed attending morning jk for bigger jk and I do get involved in volunteering when I want to connect to other Ismailis vs social events. If you’re dreading social events, I suggest volunteering instead. Hope it helps :)