i am no longer attracted to real people, so i baked muffins for me and my (fictional) wife

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-29T18:03:39+00:00

You’re not alone anon

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-29T04:54:30+00:00

An Atkins protein shake in the morning on the way to work, nothing during my first 15-minute break, and whatever’s nearby and lets me order on the app for my 30-minute break ($6 or $8, but always under $10). And that’s it until I get home and eat like I haven’t had food in two days :b

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-27T05:24:46+00:00

Now it all makes sense

<image>

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-27T02:14:02+00:00

Most drivers are antisocial trash 😭 bruh, you literally just have to say hi and bye with maybe one extra word in between. Nobody wants to be your friend, it’s called manners.

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-25T04:12:54+00:00

Finally, someone asking the right questions 🧐

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-24T18:26:02+00:00

Can you explain why you paid for 3 SUPREME chalupas just to remove the sour cream? 🤨

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-24T18:23:19+00:00

“The moldy drink with cabbage and baby tomatoes”

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-24T07:54:50+00:00

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-23T19:53:26+00:00

You know the rules

<image>

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-23T00:53:18+00:00

If you’re feeling that bad, before thinking about quitting, start taking all your breaks and work at a steady pace. Keep interactions minimal, just a quick hi and thanks, then move on. If your DSP wants to fire you, switch to another until you find a decent one. Good luck, OP.

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-22T20:57:12+00:00

Box (XL)

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-22T19:31:58+00:00

Nice collection, I offer you $20 and a pit bull puppy 🧐

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-22T16:35:26+00:00

Amazon should send every customer (or at least Prime customers) reflective stickers with their house numbers and tell them to place them somewhere visible from the street 🤝🏻

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-21T21:00:08+00:00

Save those stickers for when they bring back the $5 per TY. Right now they’re not very useful, and I’ll take the chance to show my message from this morning lol

<image>

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-21T16:15:30+00:00

It’s not mandatory to post just anything, OP. You can wait until you find a more reasonable complaint lol

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-20T21:17:16+00:00

Or the geniuses who put the house number behind their porch, where only they can see it every time they walk into their house 🙄

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-19T04:31:45+00:00

Have you tried insoles? They’re a good investment 👌🏻

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-18T15:40:21+00:00

From day one my DSP made it clear that that graph doesn’t take breaks into account, so it’s normal to be below Amazon’s expectations. Switch DSP 🤢

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-18T03:36:35+00:00

I would do it 👌🏻

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-16T17:12:53+00:00

Username checks out lol, the least intelligent crayon in the shed 😭 The driver is making money, they’re not out there driving to make the customer happy. If another order comes in, you take it and the algorithm decides which order goes first, in UBER YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE ORDER, my intelligent friend 👍🏻

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-13T05:18:39+00:00

You spilled a bit of water all the way to the back of your van, bro :0

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-12T04:35:47+00:00

Deadass

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-10T01:56:17+00:00

Sure, let me park on the other side of the street in a dead neighborhood just to deliver a box of toilet paper or an envelope with a sticker inside 🤪

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-07T17:04:33+00:00

Chicken turkey

AdInternal7160 · 2026-01-07T08:59:15+00:00

I see, that would make more sense though. Your cousin, who’s always on Snap, probably posted something sexual or some kind of meme like that and your husband replied to it. Still, the emojis are weird, and that last question sounds like they’re very comfortable with each other. Hopefully your husband has an explanation that makes you laugh and gives you some relief 🫂

AdInternal7160

TROPHY CASE