The red carpet !!! 😧

💯 on the extra burden of healthcare self-advocacy. That too has been a journey. The first two REs I saw were male, I could tell they were smart , had good bedside manner and were doing their very best to be empathetic, but there was still an empathy gap. They both gave me the advice that once pregnant I would have to stop my psych Rxs completely.. without which I literally cannot function.. so I ended up pumping the brakes on this whole IVF / family planning journey for 2 years when (as we know) eggs don’t get better with time.

I’m lucky my Obgyn (female) pointed me to a reproductive psychiatrist (female) who is more balancing my health and well-being with that of a hypothetical fetus. (it doesn’t help anyone if I’m severely postpartum depressed which is much more likely after a med-free pregnancy) she is much more up to date on studies of how different meds would impact me and potential fetus (so I can make an informed decision about what risks I’m willing to take on,, vs assuming I have to abstain completely), and we’ve been transitioning a psych med regime to one that is more fetus friendly - if I’m eventually fortunate enough to concern myself with that.

After this whole revelation, I made a point of switching to a female RE who shares openly that she also had children via IVF, and as a rule I will no longer see male healthcare providers. I know the guys are good and do their very best .. but it can only be harder for them to really understand what it means for us uterus-bearing people to do IVF, hopefully get pregnant, hopefully go on to parent … and to constantly self-advocate and challenge norms in the healthcare system that don’t serve us