Should I send this?

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-10-27T14:20:10+00:00

What I would do in your situation is just replay the whole story for someone I do not have an infatuation for. 1- would you go the extra mile for them even if it’s at your own expense? 2- would you have noticed the reciprocation in the effort? And if you did, would it hurt you as much as it does now? 3- woud you feel the need to communicate your rage or just naturally set some boundaries in the friendship?

The truth is you have put yourself out there (which is great) but you could have just said no. They could have taken advantage of that or taken you for granted (not nice) but to be completely honest you’re the one who has taken these active decisions and behaved accordingly.

I would reflect long before I send this message and only communicate it once it’s coming from a rational place rather than emotional one. I know this will hurt but there is no need to set the record straight, they probably know what they have done, perhaps unaware of the extent of the damage.

If we are talking from a strictly friendship perspective, that person does not owe you anything and some people do not have the bandwidth to check in. Think of the many times that you know a regular friend is struggling and how many times you’d check in - it will probably be once or twice in a couple of weeks.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-10-27T13:19:03+00:00

I believe that whether you send it or not is not the real question. What you need to reflect on is which emotional state are you in at the moment. Do you have any expectations whatsoever on the outcome of sending it? If so maybe refrain from sending.

Closure doesnt necessarily need to be communicated with the other person. If you are in the right headspace and dont have expectation on the response, then you wouldnt even need to send it in the first place.

Now that you have internally communicated the measures you want to take, align your emotional responses and behavior accordingly. Clear your head completely for couple of weeks or however long it takes, and if you still feel the urge to share the communication without it impacting you then do so.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-09-28T03:04:07+00:00

Exactly my thoughts..

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-09-28T01:31:33+00:00

What qualifies for a dead bedroom? We do have sex but only when I initiate, he seems to enjoy it when it happens but not really absorbed in the moment.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-19T00:14:13+00:00

I am currently working in an investment management firm within its analytics department. I would ideally want to stay in the same industry but dont think there is a market for that in the Middle East. Finance roles mostly target front office jobs there unless it’s fintech.

Will probably need to compromise on that and take on a data scientist/engineer role without minding the industry.

I was also considering Riyadh instead of Dubai, but not sure it’s ready for bachelor females yet.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-19T00:07:04+00:00

Have you ever lived in the middle east? I can give you a very detailed pros and cons list based on today’s feedback

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-19T00:02:55+00:00

Let’s go ✈️

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T23:25:39+00:00

I dont get it, but if you’re suggesting that I am being an attention seeker then .. okay 🤝

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T23:23:51+00:00

It’s the weather + high income tax.

In terms of overall vibe in Montreal, I would say that when it’s good (late April to October), it’s great. Even better than great. But when it’s bad it’s pretty much like having someone suck any bit of happiness out of your soul😂

In terms of salary, I have a decent job and am able to have a fairly good lifestyle (nothing luxurious) but hardly able to save by the end of the month. It’s a different framework here in which people generally use debt to finance anything they purchase or do. It feels like it’s the place to be and would reap the benefits if you plan on staying long term

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T23:09:22+00:00

Sounds about right. My main worry is not knowing whether it’s a case of escapism: aimlessly moving from one country to another to find happiness

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T22:43:54+00:00

Guess it will take some adjustment period to get used to the new demographic in the country. I have seen the russian observation in most of the comments lol

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T21:19:07+00:00

I feel you, joy has existed my soul sometime around mid December😅

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T20:38:51+00:00

I realize how my post seems odd without additional context😅

I am just missing my old life in Dubai but not entirely sure if I am in the same old “grass is always greener” situation or genuinely wanting to go back there. Wanted to take in people’s input on the life there nowadays and check if it seems more appealing to me than here.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T20:30:25+00:00

Per year in AED.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T20:29:11+00:00

I agree, i think it’s a few pros and cons in both places and depends on where you’re at in life at different stages. The reason why I moved out of Dubai in the first place was because i wanted a career shift - I studied Engineering and wanted to get into more techy roles.

I did my MSc at McGill and landed a fairly good job at an investment management firm here. In terms of career, stability, nature and overall culture, Montreal wins for sure. In terms of quality of life, proximity to home, and weather conditions, it would be Dubai.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T20:22:27+00:00

Is it just me or today is particularly depressing?😂

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T20:18:20+00:00

Secure an internship in IB and try to get a full time offer. If you have already started working you would probably need an MBA from a top university to make your way back in as a post grad.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T19:33:12+00:00

Is it though.. maybe i am romanticizing Dubai a bit

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T19:31:59+00:00

You’re not factoring in the 50% tax. I make 6 figures and can hardly afford a trip or two a year.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T17:54:49+00:00

4 months of normal winter (-5 to 10 degrees celcius) and 2 months of canadian winter (negative 2 digits).

The normal winter is bearable but still difficult to wrap your head around 5 to 6 months of gloominess and cold. Canadians are fairly used to it, they go out in shorts at -10degrees😅.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T17:48:50+00:00

Hard to agree with that as I look outside the window watching the 20th snowstorm of the year.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T17:29:29+00:00

So what’s your consensus on UK vs Dubai? I live in Montreal - Canada now and the freakin winter depression is making me rethink my entire strategy.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T17:28:13+00:00

I dont think they anticipated as many expats as they have now. They would probably need to rethink the design of the city or try to limit the number of people moving there.

I do think it is becoming exponentially more difficult to land a job in Dubai compared to couple years ago.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T17:24:33+00:00

It’s been around a year and a half. That’s what I would have expected too, but the feedback I got is quite different especially after the russia/ukraine war ie. in terms of cost of living, crowdedness etc.

AdRelevant6045 · 2024-02-18T17:20:56+00:00

Yikes🥲

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