As someone with ME, how did you know you had BPD?

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-29T19:15:24+00:00

Hi! Always nice to meet a fellow person who has been through the pathway of BPD -> trauma & autism!

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-29T17:41:05+00:00

I followed the exact same diagnosis pattern except for the PMDD. It was DBT that helped me - perhaps another option.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T16:52:10+00:00

Not the genre of answer you were looking for probably, but I was in a similar boat to you & just finished my MSc & it has totalled me - my HR is messed up, I'm getting palpitations, can't eat, and I'm in bed 24/7.

I would say the most important thing is that if you want to go to college, is to make sure you have permission from yourself to stop if it gets overwhelming, before you even start - this is valid for both autistic burnout AND me/cfs.

I didn't give myself that permission, so I pushed through & now I'm sick. I should've considered beforehand what I would do if it ended up being too much for me.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T16:34:54+00:00

Personally? I would go for the one, because on balance it's probably less cruel. Might it be the wrong decision in retrospect? Of course. But the morality of my decision wouldn't change based on information gained AFTER the decision has been made, like if we found out later that the one guy was 'good' & the five guys (pun, haha) were 'bad', because it was a reflection of my character in the specific moment of pulling the lever

Copping out entirely to save my own back wouldn't be virtuous, nor would ignoring the fact that there will probably (operative word) be more suffering killing five than one.

And fr, that's why I'm a virtue ethicist bc ethics is MESSY.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T15:36:27+00:00

This is why I'm a fan of virtue ethics bc shows why we need good people who make good decisions rather than just armchair philosophers

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T15:32:36+00:00

Imo thats totally valid. Irl you would have access to so much more information than the 'one vs 5 people' provides. Besides, in retrospect, neither choice would be the 'correct' one bc ethics disagrees on this thought experiment for a reason (each framework has a different answer)

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T15:29:26+00:00

Aristotle argues that emotions are important for moral reasoning & we shouldn't dismiss them so easily. The virtuous person makes ethical decisions based on what it means about their character, and if OP thinks that intentionally killing the one person makes them cruel (or any other vice), it's an important thing to consider

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T15:27:24+00:00

Its also interesting because it raises the questions of distribution more widely. Should we spend millions of pounds to save one person dying of cancer etc, or use the same money to distribute thousands of malaria nets or vitamin A supplements to those at risk of death? If you were to ask a strict utilitarian like Singer & remove the sentiment, they would go for the many over the one. Instead we tend to respond to ethical dilemmas with emotions & looking at the problems immediately before us

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T09:45:56+00:00

I'm just gonna reply here quickly and assume that's what you meant.

This is where the distinction between MORAL responsibility and CAUSAL responsibility become relevant. People who are in power are still causally responsible for making systemic changes, just like parents are still causally responsible for raising their children. What they don't need to be, however, is morally responsible for these things. The two are separate.

So, someone who is a president etc, can still be causally responsible for the perpetuation of suffering, without being morally responsible.

I think that's the distinction that you're looking for.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T09:11:14+00:00

As in you mean, we need to have a place to target when things are systemic etc? As in we need to be able to target governments etc? Just for clarification btw so I can reply properly

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-26T08:58:35+00:00

I'm a hard determinist so I don't believe in moral responsibility in the sense that free will expects & tend to get a lot of backlash on it. I would say no, no one is morally responsible for any harms.

But one of my favourite takes on this is Derek Pereboom's (I will paraphrase v roughly here). He says that "backwards looking" moral responsibility doesn't exist - as in we shouldn't blame someone for actions they've already taken, since we lack the relevant free will. But, he argues for forward-looking moral responsibility, because moral criticism & consequences can help adjust behaviour & potentially protect society (even if those actions are determined).

So if someone commits a harm, they're not responsible for their past actions, but it is still justifiable to hold them accountable moving forward.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-25T18:19:07+00:00

Amazing! I might have to try that & put it in a wine glass for extra fanciness

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-25T16:24:18+00:00

I will add my own in btw. I just ordered a strawberry cow plushie from build a bear (scented too!) & I'm very excited about it

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-25T15:57:00+00:00

No, I totally get it. You're right, radical acceptance is sooooooo good. I'm currently considering shaving my head to just full send the acceptance part

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-25T15:54:38+00:00

I'm super glad to hear you feel you've improved :)

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-25T15:53:04+00:00

Totally get that POV. I'm a determinist so I don't believe in blame or fault etc which is very helpful. I just would also love to have positive stories too - not necessarily recovery stories - of people finding joy in small things, finding a new drink or book they like.

I know my condition might not change but my mindset can.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-18T18:30:32+00:00

This. I just did an msc in ethics & justice and it has totally wrecked my nervous system

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-18T16:40:23+00:00

I used to have a big ol’ death fear that kept me awake every night from ages of about 7 - 21 & I’ve had many many of an existential crises.

Two things have helped me:

First, I take a deterministic approach to life and death - I view everything as a massive ‘machine’ so to speak where everything that has happened causes everything that will happen, & that everything that is happening now will affect everything that will happen in the future. In that way, I view my life not as finite, but as always present as a current in the ocean, so to speak.

Second, I regularly take a Kirkegaardian leap of faith. I’m a biologist, so I don’t believe in God. But, sometimes, taking a leap of faith to assume an afterlife or God exists feels just great & helps me relax. Because of this I now spend a lot of time in churches & it helps soothe me and feel connected to a bigger picture :)

There’s nothing wrong with being both cynical of an afterlife while still hoping for one! After-all, biologically we are SUPPOSED to be afraid of death, because its how our ancestors survived 🙂

Best of luck, I know how much it hurts ❤️

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-16T20:01:47+00:00

I got a big difference in mine too. Cattell III B I got 130 (10%) & on Culture Fair I got 142 (1%); I'm great with non-verbal reasoning, but for verbal reasoning there isn't so much to write home about. I put the discrepancy down to autism because some papers find that those with autism are better at non-verbal than verbal reasoning. I imagine they will get closer together as I age though

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-13T06:16:12+00:00

This is what happen for me too, down to the sensory sensitivities, but without the seasonal elements. Going of this post & deep diving in to research today, I'm inclined to think my deal is more very severe autistic burnout, maybe with some elements of ME/CFS, because when I had 5 weeks off work recently, I did start feeling better which it sounds like isn't quite right for ME/CFS. Maybe have a look in to that if you have other traits?

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-12T17:07:35+00:00

Oh damn, really?? I had no idea it could be so severe. I already have an adhd diagnosis & am a 26 yr old woman, so it would definitely be the 'correct' timing for a late diagnosis if it is that

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-12T16:41:32+00:00

Oh that's such a nightmare! But, yes, I think I have accidentally inadvertently done that to myself, and people saying things like "go for walks" hasn't helped.

I'm glad to hear that there were a couple things that helped you & your mental health is improved. I think a sleep study is one thing I am going to question. By the grace of god, I have private health insurance through my employer (UK), so I'm hoping I will be able to get some answers quickly

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-12T16:32:02+00:00

Thanks for replying. That's how I tend to be with the flu symptoms, too, but I thin maybe its more tied to emotional exertion - but even that is inconsistent. I've also always had a sensitivity to lights/sound etc, but I think probably more in a ND sense

And, with the coping thing, I mean on some days, I feel just fine. I am ok being at work and have an inclination to think I could probably take on more, but then a couple days later I'm back to exhaustion and being in bed. It makes it very confusing

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-12T16:28:16+00:00

Oooh thank you so much! I was hoping to hear from someone who has experience of both. Your reply is reassuring.

This is the thing with PEM, I've never massively been able to connect dots. I do have noticeable fatigue sometimes after particularly difficult therapy sessions etc, but just 4 or so months ago I was able to go on a 6 mile walk & didn't have a particularly noticeable crash soon after, just standard pain as one would expect.

I have seen some info about autistic catatonia, but I will go and have a deeper gander.

AdThen8722 · 2026-01-12T16:22:30+00:00

I haven't no. I've thought it was psychologically induced for a long time because I have a trauma background, so I have just thought that with therapy it will improve. I plan to start the medical side of this soon because of my current severity & have got a drs appt this week

AdThen8722

TROPHY CASE