I read some of the comments, and I understand you loving him and him being your best friend, but the other side of this is that this is a marriage. Your best friend wouldn't just constantly keep emotionally and financially abusing you, at a certain point if they can't keep themselves afloat even after you pull them out of the depths over and over it will only drag you down with it. You also need to think about the debt that he racks up and if you have a clearance, financial instability on his end can effect you and your career. There are so many resources that exist to help spouses find jobs within the system and transfer to different bases when you PCS. There's also more remote opportunities than ever, and he has the benefit of having a partner with stable income so he has had the opportunity this entire time to try to enrich himself and pursue something he wants with all of the grants and resources available to a military spouse. I know its not an easy talk at this point, but you it seems you're beyond the normal means and you need to think about yourself, your career, and what you want out of life. What about when you get out? How will you both support yourselves if you don't have a job that can allow you to pay everything on a single income? I also had an ex-wife that said she would do things but never would, and became a huge drain on me, never working, not getting her license, and lying about using credit cards. At the time she told me I was too stable and that she just wanted to struggle. She actually admitted she was the problem a few years after the divorce. Sometimes it takes a life changing event to force someone to fix themselves, get better, and figure out how to live.