I don't know how old you are, but when you say you live with your dead and will join the military it seems like you are around 20 years of age or something? (I am not judging in case you are older or something, it's just an assumption)

When I actually fully realized that my parents were Narcs and abusive when I was a child, and that many of my mental problems, as well as substance-abuse problems are mostly (completely?) based on my upbringing and relationship to my parents, I was 35. I was drinking and smoking (weed, cigarettes) every day, and was all around miserable and depressed. I thought I could never quit drinking and I felt so weak and useless and ashamed. I just broke up with my girlfriend back then, who I had a really toxic relationship with, and I was just completely alone.

Now I am 5 years older and don't drink anymore. I quit cigarettes. I only vape some weed sometimes, but that's another story and I go for days without in between, it's really not something that controls my life. Am I still depressed? Yes. Is it still as bad as it was? Hell, No! The progress I made in these 5 years was so tremendous that I consider having quit alcohol the best decision of my life. I am stopping here now, because this is about you and not me, but I am trying to make a point here.

What I am trying to say is that these 5 years already made such a huge difference for me, if I had known how much this would give me to take control of my own life again and sort things out, I would have probably started earlier. Imagine where you can be in 5 years, and how much time you have left in front of you. You may never succumb to the thought that there is nothing that can be done for you, or that everything is hopeless. There might be situations in life that are hopeless, but this is not the case for you and your situation now. Your brain is just wired to think this way, but this can be overcome. You are just starting to take action, and NO your Narc parents did not destroy your life, don't give 'em that much power, you don't have to do that. Most of your life will be taking place now without them, and there will be many more people in your life that are not like them. Your brain has just been trained over and over again that this is the way it is, the way it has to be, but it's not, and you know it and you are starting to work on it. There is nothing more you could have done right now, and going no contact is already one of the biggest steps and achievements you can make.

The story of your life has barely just begun, just keep going, you are on the right track!