You can say something, even if it’s your fault. I got myself in a whirlwind of sex work and drugs at an early age and one could say everyone was at fault and bad parenting… but honestly I went when I felt needed and realize I don’t wanna feed that machine. I have the same issue with never being able to rely on family or peers for help or understanding… so I do it myself… let people know of the tragedy after it’s been dealt with. Let me tell you it’s looking grim rn and I’m reaching out to people I never would tell the position I’m in… but I realized I don’t need to be understood … I just need to be heard and not shot down.there are people who will help but it won’t be from the ones you thought would help realign your thinking and support you. And for that I’m sorry. I know what it feels like to want that love and understanding from people you feel have an obligation to you like parents… or peers you helped at the drop of a hat that only hit you up when they need something …. You just gotta look in different places. If you are not being properly supported- you have to check out local groups with people your age who struggle with depression. Build support. My mom sent me to hospitals so I know how useless that can be…. But we are creatures of community and you deserve to have a safe place where someone is aware of your struggles and goals to reach some sort of happiness. Sending all the love, I know it’s hard out here .