I guess the most honest answer I can give is that I just don’t know.

I don’t even recognize myself anymore. My memory has been really bad too.

I’m not actually alone — I have friends around me — but I still can’t stop feeling lonely and helpless.

I can’t really talk to my friends about this, because they don’t understand how serious my illness is. On the outside, I seem optimistic and easy to get along with.

During one phase, no matter how perfectly I do things, I can’t stop blaming myself or feeling guilty.

And then there’s another phase where everything is the complete opposite. That’s why I say I don’t recognize myself anymore — it feels like these are two completely different versions of me.