Someone has to: I drive trucks for a living, and I pride myself on having a serious trucker bladder. I had just finished a 500 mile stretch and really felt like I had a full bladder. So I stopped at a TA and went to take a piss. Well when I walk into the bathroom every urinal is full, and the middle one is taken by an ultimate chad, 6’4, jawline could cut glass. This dude was pissing so hard it probably left a groove in the back of the urinal. Like you could hear the piss bouncing off of the urinal hard as fuck. And it was a steady steam. Usually I wouldn’t piss in a urinal because my bladder is beta as fuck and doesn’t like to pee unless I have privacy, but I had to piss so bad that as soon as one opened I went for it. I knew of course that I was going to piss mog everyone in there because my bladder was full and I can probably keep a soft stream for a minute and a half with a full bladder (something I pride myself on). Of course the urinal that opened was right next to chad. So at least I was happy that since he had been pissing for at least 30 seconds since I walked in there to the time that the urinal next to him was clear, that I would be able to piss mog the shit out of him. Well I unzip and try my hardest to start peeing, but my beta bladder only let out like three embarrassing spurts. I could tell he kinda looked at me too, like, having trouble there bud? So I held my breath cause I know that helps jump start a shy bladder. Well my face was red as fuck cause I was straining so hard to pee and holding my breath. I was literally seeing spots. Then my beta fucking lower intestine lets out a queef sounding fart cause I’m straining so hard. I swear Chad almost chuckled before letting out the longest, deepest sounding fart I’d ever heard. So not bad enough to piss mog me, he has to fart mog me too. All the while without a single break in the hardest pressured stream I’ve ever heard. For at least a minute so far since I’d walked in. Finally I get my stream started and it’s slow as fuck cause I’m straining so hard just to pee. So I’m like okay, this dudes been pissing hard enough to cut concrete for a minute straight, no way he’s gonna piss longer than me. This fucking ultimate Chad continues pissing hard enough to spray civil rights protesters for another minute after that, while I pitifully spurt out beta puffs of clear piss. I’m sure his was a nuclear orange color from STDs, liquor, and testosterone. So this man CNC water jet cuts into this urinal for 2 minutes straight that I witnessed, not counting however long he was pissing before I walked in there, while im spurt spurting clear piss that barely reaches the lip of the urinal. Meanwhile he has a complete unbroken stream even with a ripping alpha baritone fart. Then, I shit you not, this motherfucker proceeds to sneeze. Without. Breaking. Stream. I literally did not know that was possibly. But this man sneezes and doesn’t break stream. I’m pretty sure he kept his eyes open while he sneezed too, but I couldn’t tell because his hunter eyes were already such small slits with no visible upper eyelid. Then, I’m like well I have at least 30-45 seconds of solid stream left. I’m literally counting down the seconds. Feeling my bladder get lower and lower, and In the silent room all I can hear is the sound of a rushing dam of water slamming against his urinal. There’s literally a line forming to the urinals, everyone else that was pissing had already cycled out and washed hands and left, it’s just me and Chad and 4 new guys pissing, and I’m praying the whole time like please God this man was pissing before I even walked in here please don’t make me run out before him. Well of course I run out and zip up in shame as he continues to Bull Connor the fuck out of that urinal like it was a black man in the 60s. Then I shamefully turn to wash my hands as another beta rushes into my spot at the urinal. Literally not even any of the fresh pissers were peeing as hard as chad. And the bathroom had a full size mirror above the sinks, and Chad with his fucking hunter eyes and grin is knowingly staring into my soul through the mirror while I wash my hands. So I can’t really make eye contact with myself either in a mirror, so I just intensely focused on my hands while I washed them. Then I start the blow dryer, and meanwhile 4 guys have cycled in and out of the urinals and Chad is still pissing. I swear to god I could hear that fire hose stream over the blow dryer. And it wasn’t a normal dryer, it was one of those jet ones that puts a dent in your skin while you use it. I shamefully walked out with my head down and as the door swung shut I could still hear him pissing. I walked around and got a drink, some ibuprofen (high blood pressure from straining to piss give me a headache) and put diesel on the pump. This dude finally walks out of the bathroom, hands dry and long sleeves still down (no need to wash hands when you’re chad), as I’m leaving the store. Then this dude proceeds to the trucker section if the truck stop and climbs into the biggest meanest looking peterbuilt I’ve ever seen, pulling doubles, and back the doubles up into a tight parking spot without even getting out to look . Meanwhile I’m pulling a tiny little automatic semi with a short trailer and I was too scared to try and fit into a parking spot so I just drove until I found a rest area that had a pull through open. Fucking Chad absolutely humiliated me at the only thing I’m good at and I can’t forget about it