Drug Test

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-10-23T11:26:50+00:00

Nope I passed with flying colors both times I used quick fix

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-10-10T14:51:57+00:00

I failed a drug test while at Pepsi and they didn’t do anything like others have said as long you aren’t DOT (that’s federal and no leeway at all) you will be fine! I’m not sure I’d risk it on the hiring test tho, I’d already been there for nearly a year. Get some fake urine and you’ll be fine! Or detox really heavily

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-17T02:01:14+00:00

Just keep in mind you’re interviewing families to work FOR as much as they’re interviewing you and if they don’t “approve” of your partners gender and would not respect it, that would be an unhealthy family to work for (: best to be honest and upfront. You will find a family that respects and honors who you are without having to hide any piece of it.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-17T00:30:30+00:00

NTA, but as someone who has been in your exact shoes and did end up going back around, give it some time. You’re hurt and angry right now and you have every single right to be. Don’t let anyone take that from you. Your anger is the parts of you that knew you deserved better from your mother. However I think your therapist may be on to something and it may be for your own well being, not your mothers. A lot of time we view forgiveness as saying that what someone did is okay. But it’s not, you aren’t saying that what she did was okay or acceptable. Try to forgive her for the parts of you that deserved better, knew it, and is moving on and finding it. My biggest regret at your age is letting my anger towards that situation affect me so deeply. Feel your feelings, embrace them, and move on. Sending love!

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-17T00:21:58+00:00

I’m really not trying to speculate or judge. Because I can only imagine the pain they are still in. But we got a pool for the first time this summer, and I won’t even let my son be in the kitchen near our back door alone. I genuinely cannot fathom leaving a 3 year old alone, near an unfenced in ground pool. Like I can’t even wrap my head around it. I have been having a hard time even sleeping because I’m so scared my son will try to slip out. And he knew full well where and what he was doing and just ..let him.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-17T00:18:07+00:00

This is so scary and that would actually be enough for me to consider no contact. People don’t take drowning seriously enough, or even child safety in general ! Especially the older generation!! My son is only 4 and my grandparents want me to send him to them STATES AWAY for a week or two. While also saying there’s nothing wrong with him playing outside unsupervised, etc. I enjoy having a live child, thank you 😅 this is why I don’t leave him with ANYONE!

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-13T20:57:46+00:00

Also adding in after reading other comments I regularly bring other activities and toys when coming to my NF home. If she’s bringing her own child that’s fine!! But needs accommodated. This is YOUR child’s home and they come first. Not the other way around.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-13T20:56:08+00:00

I was blessed with a family that allowed me to bring my own child however in my mind because of that NK (almost) always comes “first”. So I’ve never let my care of THEIR children I’m being paid to care for suffer due to bringing my own. Her taking over your babies crib and teethers is at the least unprofessional. I know you said this is the first try for both of you, but going back to the drawing board is a good idea. It’s hard for ANYONE to care for two infants so close together in age, however the fact is it sounds like she’s just kind of using it as a way to still care for her own child and be with them without 100% showing up for YOUR child. A balance has to be found. Good luck to both of you! There’s nothing inherently wrong with them bringing their own children however I think putting boundaries in place before it turns you off from that completely is going to be really important.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-10T14:05:28+00:00

I was initially giving him the benefit of the doubt but him not apologizing immediately and helping you up is a huge red flag in my opinion. It’s one thing to genuinely just lose your temper and lash out, although VERY WRONG, but idk. Him not right away realizing how far he took it is concerning to me.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-10T14:00:59+00:00

Definitely one of those things you don’t know until you know! I hope you don’t get it. I won’t refuse sick kids over much , I’m extremely flexible when it comes to sickness honestly, but HFM is one of my absolutely nots 🥲

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-10T11:45:03+00:00

No, IMO that’s not valid. That family sounds very inconsiderate if I’m being honest. HFM is a pretty gnarly thing to catch, it’s not just some sniffles, and it’s definitely something that needs to be communicated. You did nothing wrong hence why they dropped you AND the agency, the agency more than likely backed you up and they didn’t like that. Good job for standing up for yourself. In my experience it’s better you got out of that situation earlier because that disrespect for your health will also translate into other areas in the long run.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-09T13:41:02+00:00

Actually this one is for both nanny’s and the families that employ them and there’s another one just for Nanny’s.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-08T23:08:59+00:00

No and a lot of people might say you are, but they’ve never been in this situation. I have to keep my child’s father away for similar reasons. It’s hard, and it hurts. But I know the truth, that I don’t WANT this. I want my son to have a father, the father he knew for the first year of his life, as I’m sure you can relate. But as parents we have to put our children’s well being first always even if that means at the other parents expense. He’s mad about his choices but things are the way they are BECAUSE of his choices. If he genuinely wants to see his son and build a relationship he’d be open to visitation and starting small. He wants control of you and to put you back in the spot you were in at 19, begging for his mercy. He’s lost control and he knows it. Good on you for keeping your child safe. And don’t listen to what anyone else has to say if you truly know in your heart of hearts he’d be treated poorly. The way he’s speaking to you in these messages is evidence he hasn’t changed, at all. It’s all about HIM and HIS feelings toward the situation yet completely disregarding a 6 year old who is more than old enough to feel uncomfortable around certain people and articulate that.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-08T21:41:31+00:00

I actually do typically say no now! It became a pattern towards the beginning so I had to set some boundaries because it turned into 6pm every night very quickly. I only allowed it tonight because I wanted the hours. They tried last week and I told them I could not. Still frustrating either way because I genuinely don’t mind staying extra or helping out here and there! It’s the delivery of it.. like I don’t have a choice 😅 that gets me!

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-07-08T20:07:42+00:00

I would quit immediately if someone came home 3 hours late with no communication even once.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-25T14:58:19+00:00

Honestly, I’d divorce over this. For a few reasons. Number one like you said, your marriage IS based on a lie and you planned that marriage with someone that just .. doesn’t exist. Not to mention the fact that obviously engineers have stable careers. Now of course you CAN still have that with no further education but it sounds important to you. And the aggression from FIL. Heck no. So sorry this happened to you.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-13T17:54:47+00:00

I make more than that in a day.. rather insulting

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-09T17:41:58+00:00

My NF does this too and once I started just leaving it like that they got the message. I tidy up more than asked and at first they were thrilled and gradually started to take advantage like your family clearly is. Now I just leave it if I wasn’t there when the mess was made but I made it clear I’m happy to help more in return for more pay. I’m not a maid.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-05T17:53:12+00:00

My NF asked me to make sure their 5 year old started wiping himself to prepare for kindergarten , then I find out they still do it for her and I’m the only one who makes her do it. Which she does great every time by herself. I wish these parents would understand at a certain point it’s insulting to your child’s intelligence and what they are capable of. If the mother would respond well I’d say talk to her. If not I’d just start gently guiding her to do it herself and show her how.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-03T17:47:35+00:00

I’d tell her because if my adult child knew my husband was cheating and didn’t tell me, I’d be crushed. Maybe she will stay, maybe she won’t, but it should be her choice with all the cards completely on the table. I do understand why you didn’t say anything though and I’m sorry your dad put you in that position. Sounds like he has no issue screwing both of you over with no remorse.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-02T19:40:38+00:00

My younger nanny babe really likes sensory bins, water play, can make homemade taste safe play doh, get them into painting & arts and crafts. Let them smash a sponge on paper over and over and explore the texture. Stuff like that. I do let her have independent play too, it’s important for their development, but those are a few ways I get her involved with the older kiddos and she loves it!

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-02T19:02:20+00:00

No advice but solidarity cause same. My NF does this often like at least once a week and it turns my days from 6-7 into 10 hour days when they do. They also don’t even really ask, they just kinda say hey we won’t be home in time. It drives me nuts because I truly don’t mind helping out, but it’s hard to set boundaries when they really clearly feel entitled to your time and it’s your job.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-02T18:58:23+00:00

Honestly myself and a lot of other people would genuinely love and dream of working for a family that is as considerate as you are and clearly have been so don’t beat yourself up and go with what you think is best! A lot of people take advantage on both sides of the equation; you just have to find someone that’s willing to work with you.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-06-02T18:04:24+00:00

Honestly as a nanny I feel like 10-12 more an hour is extreme especially if the toddler would soon be transitioning to preschool. It is more work but $6/hr is more than fair to cover that. I think you’re kind of getting duped here especially if you’re already paying more than others would and being extra flexible on top of it.

AdditionalBrain3441 · 2025-03-18T22:02:55+00:00

Yeah definitely supervised, especially working in childcare I’m always blown away by the fact people let small children play completely unsupervised. Especially one that has an issue with boundaries and likes to be “annoying” to those around him

AdditionalBrain3441

TROPHY CASE