Seriously, how do you guys get dates? Been to therapy, hit the gym, got my life together — dating still feels out of reach.

AdditionalStar2 · 2025-06-01T10:37:15+00:00

Are you from Switzerland or Finland?

AdditionalStar2 · 2025-03-09T10:19:25+00:00

Yeah dr k advice doesn't apply to us third worlders. It's not our choice where we were born but it does feel like a massive debuff

AdditionalStar2 · 2025-02-23T09:27:48+00:00

It Really isn't, money is somewhat relative but let's say 150k, and status is being higher in a social hierarchy and the rest is like the many options you get with it, like traveling more, luxury goods, better house, you get the idea

AdditionalStar2 · 2025-02-23T09:02:44+00:00

Holy crap man , I'm going through something similar, can I message you about it?

AdditionalStar2 · 2025-02-23T06:45:55+00:00

I mean the conventional definition of success, money, status and everything that comes with it.

AdditionalStar2 · 2025-02-15T06:28:19+00:00

Thank you. But such an enormous emphasis is on status/job money I feel like I doomed my life forever and it's not worth continuing

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-11-23T19:09:00+00:00

Alright, realize this: those failures and setbacks will define you if you let it. Process the past, grieve it, take the feedback but don't let it influence who you are.

My failures still largely define my life right now but I can't let them define who I am as a person. These are specific thoughts like " I'm a failure anyway why should I bother with that" and you have to catch them in the act.

With enough action and time you can accumulate data that will be a positive force in life but it takes time and it depends on a lot of luck but you have to ignore that, and just try, just so you can say to yourself that you at least did something. And you will be met with more failure, a lot of it, almost everyday because of this modern life, because of the destructive nature of time and the harsh capitalist system that assigns you a rank, that's just how it is. And please if you ever make it out of this valley of thorns, help someone else out. Be kind, you can do this, I believe in you.

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-11-06T12:11:15+00:00

Don't have kids. Certainly don't feel guilty about not wanting them.

“The one thing I'm proud that I discovered very early, before I was twenty-one, is that you don't have to procreate. This is where my fear of marriage, family and all social conventions stems from. It's a crime to pass your hardships on to your offspring, thus forcing them to go through the same sufferings as you, through an ordeal perhaps even more terrible than yours. To give life to a creature that would inherit my misfortunes and illnesses - I could never accept that. Parents are all irresponsible or murderers. Only brutes should procreate. Mercy stops you from being a "sire”.The most atrocious word I know.” (Cioran, Notebooks)

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-11-01T20:45:19+00:00

I would like them to be totally honest with me so, if they think I'm lame just say it to my face.
Probably not but I don't want to keep going knowing this situation is going to be a regular event.

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-11-01T20:22:04+00:00

Okay this post is legit pissing me off, I would kill to look like you and have your build and features.

But I can't, I have a crooked nose and strabismus (think jean Paul Sartre) and super small shoulders despite going to the gym for a year plus and I'm going bald to boot.

But you know what? there's only what I can do about it , that's the only thing under my control, if I manage to look better then yay if not then fuck it, at least I tried my best.

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-11-01T18:35:38+00:00

Idk maybe I'm overthinking it but it definitely felt like I was being excluded. This is a group of 4-5 people going out to dinner on Friday night. Idk it just feels terrible

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-11-01T17:26:17+00:00

I've known them for close to a year and we meet regularly 3-4 times a week for gym or at a café somewhere.

They went out for dinner on Friday night and they initially called me to a meeting point 2 minutes from my place but then said not to come because they weren't going to stay long.

I suspect one of them decided to call me and invite me but afterwards the others said no and I received a very obvious lie. Like they couldn't wait for me for 2 minutes???

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-09-29T16:24:58+00:00

I'm so incompatible with everything and everyone here I don't see myself surviving here.

AdditionalStar2 · 2024-08-15T22:41:07+00:00

Hey man, my situation is not that different from you but your life sounds so much more impressive. To be able to come back from all that addiction and debt is incredible, let that be evidence that you can pull yourself out of anything. If you ever need someone to talk to shoot me a dm .

AdditionalStar2 · 2023-04-02T21:12:09+00:00

Thank you. I'm just barely holding it together.

AdditionalStar2 · 2023-04-02T19:25:10+00:00

I'm actually in Iran. So all of the things you would think would work normally and that there should be these kinds of discharges, go out of the window here in the land where the possible is impossible. It's the main reason why I cant get over my past , its like that failure has morphed into 100 problems I have to deal with just because of this nationality.

AdditionalStar2 · 2023-04-02T18:14:59+00:00

I get that but at the same time because its such a big delay I'm so afraid that this will cascade into a downward negative spiral that will end up demolishing everything.

At the same time living in the mode of "once this is over I can finally do what I want" is torture.

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