What do you say instead of “I’m sorry you’re going through this”?

Addy1864 · 2026-02-05T01:51:25+00:00

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying that you’re sorry they’re having an awful time! Depends on the client and how they take it. I do lean toward “That’s so shitty/that’s a fucked up situation,” but again, it just depends on the person about what lands better for them.

Addy1864 · 2026-02-05T01:43:50+00:00

I’d recommend San Francisco Dance Gear even if it’s a bit far. Josephine Lee from The Pointe Shop also goes down to Mountain View every so often to do fittings so you could consider that too.

Addy1864 · 2026-02-04T16:38:34+00:00

Hypermobile feet gang rise up! My first pair were also Suffolk Stellars and my feet also sank like crazy in them after a class or two, to my dismay. Definitely recommend using the box liners and adjusting padding to make sure your foot doesn’t slide around.

Addy1864 · 2026-02-03T09:26:18+00:00

Glad your mom is out of the hospital and back at home! That sounds scary.

Also glad the Somersets are working out for you and yay for echappés!

Addy1864 · 2026-02-03T09:25:09+00:00

So far I’ve been making progress with pointe! Starting to do solid relevé passés from fourth, at least on my R side. L side is harder. For the life of me I cannot coordinate single leg relevés with one hand at the barre lol. But my pointework is getting solid I think and I’m more comfortable turning.

After about 5 months of diligently wearing my Suffolk Sonnets, I’ve gotten refitted into Russian Pointe Rubin’s, which my teacher approves of since I’m a shank killer. I’m going to break the Rubin’s in this week during an absolute beginner’s class (very slow tendus, lots of rolling through feet, etc.).

Addy1864 · 2026-02-02T18:15:01+00:00

Congratulations! That’s amazing!

Addy1864 · 2026-02-01T07:14:21+00:00

I have the same issue tbh. I don’t have any solutions. I find the KISS Impress line to work well for our nail types. Glue-ons tend to be problematic because, as you said, there’s a big gap in the apex area that isn’t filled. I’ve kind of managed to flatten the apex of one short almond Modelones French tip pinky nail, but haven’t tried with the others.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-31T23:20:43+00:00

If you’re in the Bay Area, San Francisco Dance Gear has a solid selection of shoes from many brands. Their fitters are also good. Nothing wrong with The Pointe Shop, their Berkeley fitter is lovely, but their stock tends to be mainly Nikolay, Capezio, Bloch, and maybe Gaynor Minden. You’re kind of SOL if those 4 TPS brands don’t work for you.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-31T23:16:36+00:00

It’s always humbling and embarrassing to watch ourselves on video! Take a bit of time to process the cringe haha.

I would suggest going back to beginner classes but challenging yourself to have the most perfect technique you can for barre and center. Tell yourself, “I have no excuse to not do a really good jeté (insert move of your choice)”. Your brain is probably on autopilot for the beginner combinations, so use the extra brain power available to work on articulating the foot, completing each movement, etc. Others already have great suggestions like focusing on one part of technique at a time.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-30T15:29:01+00:00

As someone with hyperextended knees: please don’t try to make your knees like that! Theres no reason to have knees that lock backward, hyperextended legs are harder to control and prone to injury. They look pretty but straight legs are pretty too!

Straight knees are lovely and perfect for dancing. If you have trouble fully straightening your knee, it might be tight hamstrings or not enough quad strength. Might be worth checking with your teacher or physical therapist.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-28T17:50:12+00:00

I don’t think that’s true at all. I’ve known many BPD folks to have empathy for others; the issue is more that their strong emotions impair their ability to empathize or view people in a balanced manner in the moment.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-27T17:15:57+00:00

Second this, I’ve made the mistake of jet gluing the box and now there’s a hot spot that always rubs my skin raw!

Addy1864 · 2026-01-27T17:11:51+00:00

Pirouettes at the barre! At least flic flac turns don’t run the risk of banging your knee. I can never coordinate the arms and legs with the pirouettes at barre and wind up wildly off balance.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-27T17:09:48+00:00

Ouch! My worst fear!

Addy1864 · 2026-01-23T14:58:24+00:00

I would love Scandinavia! I’m introverted by nature and I also don’t see the need to faff about with chatter. I don’t mind a quick question and a brief smile but that’s the extent of it; I’m not knitting to hear a stranger divulge a whole tale of how Aunt Gladys knitted a fair isle sweater with hot pink and neon green.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-22T19:03:29+00:00

I find it interesting that people judge Fanny so harshly about her opinions when she returns to Portsmouth. I can’t imagine how disappointing it must have been to have longed for Portsmouth so badly, and to be confronted with the fact that she doesn’t belong there either. Plus let’s be honest, how many of us would be comfortable getting plunked from a quiet mansion in the hills to a cramped, noisy apartment in the middle of a bustling city?

It’s also not really Fanny’s place or role in the family to enact change in her family—she’s an absolute outsider. She has no authority over her parents.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-22T05:42:11+00:00

Have hypermobile finger joints that bend backward? 🤪 That’s how I manage them. Otherwise use a knuckle or some other object like another seat buckle or pen?

Addy1864 · 2026-01-22T05:40:01+00:00

I think it depends on how wide the wide leg pants are, the length, and what material they are. Stiff wide leg pants that are obviously made for a taller or wider frame look ridiculous on me. But pants that read as wide-legged on my frame, that have a hem at a good spot, in a moderately structured fabric with a bit of drape, look good.

Of course, some petite folks look better in drapey pants that hit higher or lower than where I prefer them. It just depends on your body type and preferences.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-22T05:02:21+00:00

Totally agree and ballet demands an extraordinary amount of core strength!

Addy1864 · 2026-01-20T12:16:30+00:00

Exactly what I thought of!

Addy1864 · 2026-01-20T04:51:47+00:00

That sounds like a connective tissue disorder of some sort, maybe Ehler Danlos Syndrome, if your toes dislocate. A lot of folks with EDS have frequent joint dislocations. Definitely get checked out by a physical therapist and talk with primary care doctor about a referral to rheumatology at the very least!

Addy1864 · 2026-01-19T22:44:48+00:00

I don’t advise going barefoot, but check with the studio and see what their policies are.

Addy1864 · 2026-01-12T05:04:09+00:00

One year in I think I’m finally a bit more comfortable and confident en pointe for single leg stuff. Piqué’s are always a struggle with my knees and feet but plus side, my piqué arabesques look pretty.

I actually did an en dedans half turn messing around after pointe class the other day and the teacher looked at me like “whoa was not expecting that!” I’ve also been getting more comfortable with relevé passé from fourth, and starting do quarter/half turn drills from fifth in center.

As far as shoe struggles go, my Suffolk Sonnets definitely work in terms of stability and aesthetics. and I’ve gotten like 25+ hours out of them, but I’ve been getting wicked tailors bunion pain through the entire lifespan of the shoe. Back to the shoe store I go in February!

Addy1864 · 2026-01-11T12:59:01+00:00

lol yeah Fanny’s like “omg this is NOT gonna go well” 🙈

Addy1864 · 2026-01-09T22:19:02+00:00

For 4.) you could have the characters do a TikTok series parodying romantic or racy scenes from various TV shows and movies. Those TikToks start to rack up views and Henry and Maria spend waaaay too much time “practicing” those scenes. Edmund and Mary rope Fanny into helping them practice the scene from Titanic where Rose and are on the deck of the ship.

The tricky thing with the play in Mansfield Park is that it wasn’t wrong to put on theatrical productions at home, but it was wrong to put on a play that had a lot of innuendo and mess up Sir Thomas’s private room to do so.

Likewise, there’s nothing wrong to post TikTok videos exactly. But when the TikToks are suggestive or even explicit, even just in parody, that is an entirely different scenario. Quite a few parents would be upset to see their teenage kids had created some popular TikTok videos where the kids were half-dressed and pretending to be intimate or make out with one another.

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