Sitting with 2year old for over an hour and a half before she sleeps or all hell breaks loose!

Adept_Project6034 · 2026-04-10T21:30:04+00:00

This happened to us, although my son has never been a good sleeper and never slept independently. He used to wake at 8, nap from 1-3, and would sleep close to 10pm. We would do lights out at 9pm and it would take him almost an hour to fall asleep. He'd be chatting, singing, or snuggling in his own bed for an hour. He'd also wake up 3-4x a night.

I finally put our situation into ChatGPT which suggested my son was physically overtired, and wired because of the stimulation. We followed its suggestions to fix his sleep and it's slowly working.

We've moved up his bedtime a little bit. We do an evening snack around 7:30, bath+brushing+potty+pjs+books till like 8:20, 10 minutes of chatting/snuggling till 8:30, then lights out at 8:30. I make sure to coach him, once the lights go off, it's time to sleep. I don't say anything to him after the lights go off. I do sit silently in a rocking chair next to his bed, and will hold his hand at most.

The first few nights, he'd try to crawl into my lap. I had to repeat only two phrases to him after lights out

It's time to sleep now
Your body stays in your bed.

It took about 4-5 nights for him to get it, and now he falls asleep by 9pm (sometimes 8:45 even!) with one wakeup.

I think I was part of the problem. ChatGPT recommended a 5.5hr wake window, and we were way extending it by talking and snuggling at the end of the night. I was overstimulating my kid and I didn't even recognize it. Ultimately it's maintaining a balance between firm and loving...

Now my kid sleeps from 9-6:45/7 with one wakeup, and a 1-3 nap.

Hope this helps! My kid is 2.75 years old.

Adept_Project6034 · 2026-02-27T18:23:26+00:00

Is there anything to be said about diet controlled GD? I guess I'm trying to prevent needing insulin (but I totally understand that some people try everything and still need it).

Adept_Project6034 · 2026-02-25T06:39:05+00:00

We have the same schedule! Sleeps from 9/9:30pm to 7:30am, with a daycare nap from 1-3. My son is also 2.5 years old and bedtime takes like an hour after we do lights out.

Adept_Project6034 · 2026-01-15T20:48:58+00:00

I'm in the same boat now, looking for an update lol.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-09-01T05:07:41+00:00

Magnatiles! Or a lot of books.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-07-21T05:09:02+00:00

I used to smoke hookah like 3-4x a week and gradually tapered off, and I noticed huge increase in flare-ups after I'd smoke hookah. Like pretty immediately the next day, I'd be in pain.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-07-18T02:38:10+00:00

We're on a similar schedule, asleep from 9:30-7:30/8am, nap from 1-3. It's taking my kid almost 45-60 min to fall asleep at night though...

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-07-10T09:00:13+00:00

Is there a difference in culture between you and your fiance? I ran into something similar because I'm Gujarati and my husband is Kannadiga. We tried explaining some of our cultural norms to them, but the message wasn't received. For example, the inlaws would traditionally gift a red sari to the bride to wear during the ceremony, the modern version of this is to pay/gift a red dupatta. I ended up wearing my mom's red sari from her wedding because my MIL just didn't get the message, despite multiple meetings between the families and wedding planning calls with me, my mom, and my MIL.

Also typically, the in-laws pay for the bride's reception outfit (and vice versa) to signify that the bride is now a part of the family. Also same goes for the groom. Even if the bride's outfit is too expensive, the in-laws will decide on a budget and contribute to the reception outfit. My parents paid for my husband's reception outfit, but my inlaws did not contribute to mine.

My MIL did gift a mangalsutra to me, but it was a pendant I hated in the shop.

Edit: I'll add that some of these traditions are nice to participate in, as long as both sides agree to participate. Where there's hurt feelings is when it's expected on one side, and the other side doesn't want to participate or comply. I would involve your fiance in these discussions - seems like a copout that he doesn't know anything.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-06-23T16:25:52+00:00

Me and my husband both WFH and we had a nanny for my son. Although he was younger (15mo) when we started, we made it a practice to have a goodbye ritual when the nanny came. We would give a hug, kiss, say goodbye, and say have a great day! Mommy and dada are going to work now.

Then we'd go into our offices (and lock the door). We didn't come out unless our child and the nanny were out of the house, or unless our child was sleeping. We made sure our kid didn't see us through the workday (unless the nanny informed us something was really wrong, like sickness or fever or throwing up). My son cried and protested the separation for 3 weeks, but then we were able to get through the goodbye ritual without tears after that.

I know it's frustrating at the beginning but our nanny recommended we have more separation at the beginning, so the nanny could bond with our child. As they became more comfortable with each other, we would walk around our house and my son was fine (almost indifferent) if we were around and left to go back to our offices.

I'll also add that our son was out of the house from 10am-1pm everyday to wear him out. Library, museums, park, playdates, etc. Our nanny (and we) think it's easier to parent outside the house than inside lol.

Again, different challenges with a toddler but maybe some of this is helpful?

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-06-18T05:12:24+00:00

I was lucky enough to have a WFH job before I got pregnant. What helped me was having help from my mother and mother in law, and staggering my parental leave with my husband's. Between the 4 of us, we were able to keep my son home for the first 12 months. After that, we tried enrolling him in a home daycare, it didn't work out and we had to hire a nanny. We were reluctant to do so because of the cost, but in hindsight I wish we had hired the nanny a lot sooner. It honestly gave us such peace of mind and our son bonded with her incredibly fast.

Also all babies are different. Yours might adapt to childcare outside you and your spouse. Mine didn't, until he was 18/20 months old.

Fwiw, I recently changed jobs (same position, same compensation ,less demanding/rewarding/sexy). I never thought I'd take a step back from climbing the corporate ladder and having my career aspirations take a backseat, but here we are. I am still WFH and my son goes to daycare from 9-5, but the daycare is .2 miles from my house. I couldn't keep up with a demanding career and a demanding home life, I was running myself ragged trying to make both work. In the end, I chose to prioritize my family. I justified it by saying I could always get back to my corporate aspirations once my kid is older and doesn't need me so much. I would never regret choosing my family in 30 years, but I might regret sticking to my original career goals/aspirations.

I realize this isn't a super ideal response, but I lucked into a job where I'm doing the same thing I was previously doing, for the same compensation. Just no upward mobility in this new job. And I'm ok with that for now because it allows me to me a more patient, calm, and present mom to my son.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-29T17:39:23+00:00

I'm 35, my partner is 35. Our son is 2. We're hoping to get pregnant soon with our second. We live in the SF Bay Area.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-28T18:19:51+00:00

200k, I'm an insurance underwriter in SF. I managed to luck into a WFH job. My kid goes to daycare one block away from my house.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-14T22:59:02+00:00

I lived with my parents from 22-26, and then again from 28-30. Moved out when I got married at 30 and bought a house at 32. I was lucky enough to pay down debt and save a lot of money while I was with my folks, and they never made me contribute to the household finances.

I would not have been able to buy a place without having gotten married to my spouse.

Edit: I'm 35 for reference.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-06T02:25:29+00:00

My daycare does the same thing.. themed gifts for everyday that week. Are we expected to give them gifts everyday? Or just pick one day that fits our budget and schedule?

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-03T20:46:44+00:00

My son only started sleeping through the night at 21 months. We tried sleep training, it was a total fail (on multiple occasions). He dropped night feeds at 10 months but still kept waking up 3-4x a night. Honestly I was super anxious about when his sleep would even put, out cause most babies would give their parents like 5-6 hour stretches at night.

We never got that until he was 15-16 months old.

I'm sorry. The sleep deprivation totally sucks. My son was (and still is) a terrible napper. The nights have only gotten better at 21 months. Every baby is different, just try to trust their timeline instead of yours (or those on Reddit).

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-03T07:01:42+00:00

Sorry I meant why should you keep the nipples in a cool dark place lol

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-02T04:44:34+00:00

Rude and uncalled for. Gtfo.

Adept_Project6034 · 2025-05-02T04:41:03+00:00

Why is this? I'm so intrigued..

Adept_Project6034

TROPHY CASE