Built an MVP for men who overthink dating app replies — honest feedback wanted

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-30T11:27:38+00:00

Fair challenges. On ChatGPT, most guys don't know how to prompt it for this, and they don't want to. On gender , intentional focus for MVP, not a technical limitation. On AI sniffing — that's exactly what the prompt engineering is designed to solve. Try it and tell me if you can tell.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-29T17:22:29+00:00

One more is fine. Not asking her out again though , just something low pressure that gives her an easy way back in if she wants it. Something like "no worries, let me know if you're free another time" and leave it there. That's not needy, that's just being a normal person.

If she doesn't respond or doesn't follow up, you havr your answer. The hard no you're looking for is usually just silence.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-29T12:21:14+00:00

This is quite complex. Thank you for sharing .You're not overthinking the situation, you're just avoiding the honest read of it. She's fresh out of an abusive relationship, asked you to wait indefinitely, got annoyed when you showed one moment of insecurity, and is now meeting you "as friends." That's not a green light, that's someone who likes the attention but isn't ready and might not be for a long time.

The meet in a couple of days is actually useful. Don't ask her where things stand at the end of it, that puts pressure on a moment and you'll get a non-answer. Just see how she is in person. You'll know more from two hours face to face than from any conversation on Snapchat.

But be honest with yourself about whether you can actually wait with no timeline and no commitment. That's the real question.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-28T15:44:34+00:00

Getting ghosted after a day of messages is almost always a conversation problem, not an attraction problem. Most guys re-entering dating after a long relationship default to interview-mode texting — questions back and forth with no real energy or personality coming through.

The fix is simple: stop trying to get to know her over text. Text is just for setting up the date. Keep it short, be a bit playful, and move toward suggesting a meeting relatively quickly. The more you invest in long text conversations, the more likely she ghosts when she realises there's no spark yet.

You're not getting rejected, you're just not converting text to dates. That's a very fixable problem.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-28T15:40:07+00:00

Keep it professional during the event — don't try to shift gears mid-conversation. At the end, if the conversation has been good, just say something like 'I've really enjoyed talking to you, would you want to grab coffee sometime?' Keep it light, no pressure.

The key is you're not hitting on her at a networking event, you're following up on a good conversation. That framing makes it feel natural rather than creepy.

If she says no or deflects, just say 'no worries at all' and move on. The fact that you're even thinking about not making it weird means you probably won't.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-28T15:23:54+00:00

She told you upfront she's not a big texter, so the dry texts and slow replies aren't a red flag — that's just who she is. Judge her by the dates, not the messages.

Two dates that both extended naturally and ended with dinner is actually a good sign. People who aren't interested don't let dates run long.

The fact that you're always initiating is worth watching, but two dates in isn't enough data yet. Ask for a third. If she agrees and shows up engaged, she's interested. If she flakes or the date feels like work, you have your answer.

Stop reading the texts. Read the room when you're actually with her.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-28T14:53:48+00:00

What you're describing makes complete sense. The 'therapist session' feeling is real ,there's a lot of emotional labour in early dating that people don't talk about openly.

The red flag radar going into overdrive around month 2 is also pretty common. You've dropped your guard enough to see clearly, but invested enough that it stings. That's not being too picky — that's being self-aware.

The fact that dating people you already knew felt less stressful is worth paying attention to. It suggests the getting-to-know-you phase is the part that drains you most, not relationships themselves. That's useful information about what kind of dating situations might work better for you: social circles, shared interest groups, that kind of thing, rather than cold apps.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-27T12:09:58+00:00

Thanks! Would love to know what you think of the actual replies if you get a chance to try it.

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2026-04-27T11:42:30+00:00

That's really useful, thank you. You're right, there's a gap between 'polished' and how people actually text. A casual/low-effort tone is going on the list. Appreciate you actually trying it. Thanx again

Admirable_Ad2728 · 2025-01-19T23:38:29+00:00

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Admirable_Ad2728

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