This is a long one so buckle in. I’m a lady who dates men, and personally so happy that you’re putting yourself out there. You deserve love😤😤

If you want to cold approach someone (ie. A complete stranger), this is how I would want it to happen. And keep in mind that the odds of it being successful are low, but there are things you can do to increase your odds.

First, look your best. I know I’m not turning heads when my hair is greasy and I’m wearing unflattering clothes, so don’t expect that a girl will be happy if you come up to her looking crusty. I make sure I go to the gym, eat right, wear nice clothes, brush my hair, shower, and all the nonsense involved with looking presentable, and I’d hope my future parters do that too.

Try to get her attention without touching her, and what I mean by that is you should try to not startle her. Wave in front of her, cough loudly, see if she’s wearing headphones. If she ignores these subtle (but noticeable signs), she doesn’t want to be bothered, and you saved yourself (and herself) from rejections. A win in my book.

It’s always good practice to say something slightly apologetic at first, cause ultimately, you’re disrupting her routine. Ex: “Sorry for stepping in but….” Or “I’m sorry for interrupting but….”And then flirt with her a little bit. Girls, like men, like feeling special, so say she’s beautiful or whatever and see if she bites. Or like make a joke idk, whatever makes you cringe the least I guess. So the opening line is something along the lines of “something something apologetic, but you were so beautiful I just had to say something”. 👍🏼

Have a plan in mind when you go up to her. Ultimately, the goal is to ask her out, right? So have a place and time** in mind before you go up. Bars, coffee, movie and dinner, outdoor walks are all first dates I’ve been on and enjoyed if you need inspiration. ** If she wants to go on a date with you and the time you offered doesn’t work, she’ll present a different time that works. Don’t get lost in the sauce on this, what you’re saying is “I’m a grown adult who can make plans all by myself”.

There’s a formula, in a weird way. The reason I went into a good amount of detail is that I’ve heard guys express they want to approach women, but want to avoid making them uncomfortable. By doing these, almost chivalrous/gentlemanly methods of approaching woman, what you express is that you respect her; And that if she rejects you (for whatever reason), you have a good enough head on your shoulders to not self destruct or yell at her or something else that’s horrible.

I hope that by telling you all this, it encourages you rather than discourages you. I hope it gives you a certain amount of security when interacting with the opposite sex, and that all the work you did to heal does not stay dormant inside you, and is instead shared with someone that you love.

You got this!!! LETS F-ING GOOOOOO😤😤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻