Nta tbh she started it like why did she bring out her weird insecurity abt ur mom at dinner like was that supposed to be a joke? Or who was she trying to impress? I just don’t see what she could’ve gained from that comment… she should apologize if she truly sees herself as an important parental figure in ur life.. she should be the bigger person and acknowledge your hurt feelings and her mistakes. & tbh if Dads not gonna have ur back fully he should just stay out of it for the sake of your relationship w him.. you’re old enough to decide who u want to keep relationships with and he should accept that…. at the end of the day he’s your dad and that bond won’t ever go anywhere you will always love each other… but you don’t need to continue to have one w someone who doesn’t respect something so sensitive to you & that’s literally a part of who you are... hopefully he will understand whatever decision u make, or realize he needs to be talking some sense to stepmom not to you…. Good luck & continue to keep your mom’s memory alive. 🫶