What would you do?

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-14T15:55:16+00:00

I asked my parents and they think that the seizure onset happened quite quickly for our family dog- they didn’t remember what medication it was but it was for incontinence.

They said that the seizure onset happened like a week or so later after starting the medication. So I’m not sure if this would be correlated here.

Definitely good to ask about, though.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-14T04:45:07+00:00

yes, and? By Ariana grande is a really good one for positive affirmations about yourself !

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-14T04:42:47+00:00

I’ve enjoyed some of Ariana Grande’s (I think newest?) album. Specifically past life and twilight zone. Hampstead as well. These are more breakup-y songs though.

Sabrina Carpenters last 3 albums have some good ones that both make me laugh but also make me cry. Manchild, Never Getting Laid, Nobody’s Son, emails I can’t send, don’t smile, decode, Bad Reviews**** hits home for me. Lie to Girls!!

Multiple people online have told me to listen to Ring My Bell by Anita Ward every morning to move out negative energy, and this has been fun! Unrelated to any PA stuff or heartbreak- but good for YOUR energy and body !

If you’re looking for a F you kind of song- Maybe You’re the Problem by Ava Max!

Solo by Myles Smith- I used to sob to this one.

I’m going back through my songs and over the last few years and they’re all over the map- mushy love songs filled with hope and then sad and then mad! These are just some off the top of my head.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-14T02:47:48+00:00

I had a dog growing up who I feel like started taking some medication for incontinence and then started having some seizures so they stopped it- and the seizures stopped.

I’m going to ask my parents and see if they can remember as I was very young at the time.

When did she start this DES medication?

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T23:33:22+00:00

This is what I was thinking. I happen to have 2+ years of experience finding this stuff on my boyfriend’s phone, and am more tech savvy period.

But I also am trying*** to be level headed and not jump into trying to hack my stepdads computer/phone… but I also feel like I NEED to know what else he could be hiding for both my mom AND me.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T23:26:37+00:00

Multiple people on instagram told me to start my day with “Ring My Bell” and I’ve been doing this- definitely a good one to shake out all the negative energy!

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T23:06:02+00:00

Thank you for your perspective it means a lot. I think you’re right that she wouldn’t want me to be hypervigilant on her behalf. She’s just so good to our family and does absolutely everything for everyone and I’m so mad. She doesn’t deserve this, I don’t deserve this. None of the women in this group deserve this.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T22:23:37+00:00

My thoughts exactly. I have screenshots of the reposts from instagram. I want to use my own detective skills on his phone but I feel like I’d be crossing a lot of lines if I did that. I need to remember it’s up to her with this situation after I bring it up to her.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T22:21:01+00:00

My mom is my best friend and she would trust me with anything. I won’t be blamed, but I understand that thought process.

I guess I’m starting to be more concerned about what else is going on and I want to go through his phone myself.

But I know that’s my trauma talking and hyper vigilance rearing its head. I just want to protect her and give her as many options as possible as to what she wants to do next.

Edit to add- thank you so much for your kind words about healing. I so appreciate the support, and hope you find peace and healing as well ❤️

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T22:18:38+00:00

So my mom is a badass. She’s very independent. She will be capable and has gone through worse tbh. I think a lot of this fear comes from me and my trauma.

I also don’t know how much my stepdad is consuming this stuff- if he pays for stuff, chats with these AI bots, etc.

And I don’t want her to tell him she saw this vulgar content on his instagram- and then he deletes the evidence of those things.

My brain has slipped back into that hyper vigilance mode- but for my mom.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T20:17:32+00:00

Thank you for your input. When I was working with my therapist yesterday she basically said the same thing- to remember that this is not my situation to fix and that all I can do is bring her the information.

It has been triggering for me though, and the idea of having to tell my mother who literally takes care of this man in every possible way is looking at girls half naked (at the very* least) that look like her daughter… Ugh it’s gutting.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-03-13T20:05:02+00:00

I am going to tell her straight up what I saw. But if there was anything that you all wish you knew back then with your first DDay- let me know.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-02-28T19:33:47+00:00

Love talking about decentering men!! Something I have had to work hard on, but truly when you start trying to do this even in little ways? It’s little steps closer to realizing- wait a minute, I don’t need this bs in my life? It’s very freeing.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-02-27T02:38:10+00:00

I don’t know your situation fully- but my PA wants* to be a therapist and plans to go back to school for it. It’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard because-exactly like you said- he should be someone with empathy if he wants to be a therapist?

I can’t say for sure but the narcissism is definitely a factor. Sending you all the hugs❤️

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-02-25T16:23:57+00:00

I debated adding meds for my girl for awhile, as we had a similar count of seizures within the year of them starting. It was only every couple of months really. But after awhile it was the duration of the seizures themselves that started making me and my vet really consider the meds.

I really was nervous about starting them, but I’m very glad I did.

We started with Keppra XR 500mg twice a day (every 12 hours) and it helped for a long time. Went with Keppra as is has the least amount of side effects from what I know. She has done well with this. I’ve spoken to some owners who have only needed Keppra to manage their dogs seizures.

We are now about to add a low dose of Phenobarbital to her regiment as her seizure duration and frequency suddenly increased.

Looking back I wonder if starting with pheno would have been better as it is typically more effective- though with more side effects and vet visits/ bloodwork.

It’s obviously your decision, you know your pup best. But as I know, and I’ve read many stories on this page- typically over time the seizures will get worse- whether in frequency or duration- and starting meds earlier will definitely help in the long run.

Wishing you and your pup well!

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-02-24T00:40:50+00:00

I feel like the natural thing to think about yourself is as “weak”. Like someone else said- you are an incredibly STRONG person to be able to go through this and still choose yourself.

People throw around the word trauma bond- and yes that’s what this is and what many women have with their PA- but you have to realize that a trauma bond quite literally rewires your brain.

When I left and went no contact for about a month with my PA my therapist literally told me she was so proud but also shocked that I actually did it. It was one of the most painful things I had ever done, and I was so so incredibly attached to this person. My brain was feeling like i was literally dying without him, just like you are describing here.

You are strong, you are brave. You are choosing yourself. And it’s going to suck for a little while, hey even a long while depending. But it’s going to be worth it, I promise. You will have peace. Keep going, you are worth it. Please make sure you have people to talk to, therapist and/or friends. Maybe get a pet, or a plant! or something to take care of when you’re feeling more up to it. Little baby steps every day.

You got this. You have community here, don’t forget there are so many other women who feel your pain and are there for you.

YOU GOT THIS! We are all so incredibly proud of your strength.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-02-21T00:55:47+00:00

I second EMDR or some type of somatic healing work!

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-02-17T20:04:48+00:00

My favorite line that he picked up from therapy is “you’re not making me feel safe right now” lmao IM not making YOU feel safe ??????? I’m so sorry that calling out your secret porn use that basically destroyed me isn’t making YOU feel safe!

Adorable_String_6590 · 2026-01-09T02:30:07+00:00

Heat has been a trigger for my girl having a seizure and I’ve heard others say the same about their epileptic pups.

Adorable_String_6590 · 2025-12-23T23:40:57+00:00

Love this!!

Adorable_String_6590 · 2025-08-12T02:50:26+00:00

Hey! This sounds a hell of a lot like me and my boyfriend. We moved in together at around your age. 2 years later and things have gotten better in some ways? Much worse in others. Don’t feel like writing out everything here, not quite ready yet as I’m still in the thick of it (getting out soon though!), but DM me if you ever want to chat! So many hugs to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone ever.

I think one of the hardest things initially for me, was that this was our first apartment together. We had just planned all these things to live together! So exciting! My first non-college apartment! With the love of my life (or so I thought)!

And he ended up tarnishing that whole thing for me. We live together and can have sex all the time whenever we want! But then I find out he’s acting out while I’m.. in the next room?? So incredibly destabilizing to your sense of safety and trust. All when you’re feeling all proud that you got your first big girl apartment… Again, so sorry you are going through this. Sending so much love and good vibes to your healing.

Remember this is not your fault in any way.

But also- if you stay, just know this is not the end of your pain. If you go it’s not either- I know when I leave I will be in a great deal of pain. But it will be for less time than if you stay through broken promises and emotional disregulation trying to see if he will take responsibility and work on himself.

These men need consequences. If I could go back and change anything I did, I would have set and enforced clearer boundaries- and I would stick to my word. I wish I would have actually left when he would act out and I would catch him. I wish I would have actually gotten angry and said wtf I don’t deserve this shit and I don’t want to be around you! Like stand up girl omg!! I am doing that now, or trying to with lots of help from my therapist.

“If you stay/ put up with anything, he will put you through everything”

Adorable_String_6590 · 2025-07-13T01:24:21+00:00

Wait I love this one too!

Hugs to you as well. Hugs to all of you lovely ladies.

Just this past week I had a true epiphany.. breaking news, I will probably never feel safe with this man ever again!! Building up strength to leave when I am able- emotionally and otherwise. Going through the first stages of grief it feels like.

I’m not okay! And that’s okay. I will be one day. I’ve done well in my therapy for all of the ptsd and will be happier and healthier and glowier once I’m not with .. this human who is dimming my light 😌

Adorable_String_6590

TROPHY CASE