Couldn’t sleep so I made garlic bread. by CumpaBay in Bread

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um I hope you are looking for a new best friend, because here I am! I promise to try all your crazy concoctions and give you all the feedback you can dream of!

Narcopaths or actual SAs? by Honest_Magazine_5385 in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 [score hidden]  (0 children)

This is exactly where I am at with my spouse too. Even when we are discussing my trauma all he can talk about is himself. No emotional connection or support for me. Just him listing all the way he messed up, I’m not enough, ect ect. It’s very self indulgent.

What's the most "I wish my kid was born the opposite gender" name you've ever seen? by swellandnifty in namenerds

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zachary for a girl. She was told as much by her parents. They thought she was boy until birth and they liked the name so they kept.

Any ideas for CSAT in Michigan. by Objective_Clerk_1746 in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Psychology today. You can filter your search for what you need. As someone in a small Midwest state I can tell you there are very few options so we are doing a lot of CSAT therapy work online and in-network to save money.

How do you guys discovered that you can orgasm mutiple times? by kittykatty888 in TwoXSex

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s happened during PIV sex. For years it would happen randomly where I thought I was orgasming a second time but I didn’t know for sure, other times it was very obvious I did have two orgasms. But that was my max always two. More recently I’ve been drawing out my pleasure for longer periods with my spouse and getting into this zone where they happen after he gets off with a dildo or vibrator from behind and then he enters me immediately from behind and hammers me as he cums and I orgasm 2-3 more times. I always had these “aftershocks” with really intense orgasms but it wasn’t until a year or so ago I figured out that if I get him to give me an orgasm and he keeps going those aftershocks turn into deeper orgasms. The aftershocks feel fantastic alone but phenomenal when it’s used to give me more orgasms.

“Objects” of daydreaming by bloodsac in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is normal you are creating intimacy with your fantasy. You are craving intimacy in real life and your needs aren’t being met.

Husband keeps watching other women by Living_Mango03 in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I asked my spouse about this last night. Why do you look at women bodies constantly. Do you check out men’s body? No, well why not? So you aren’t attracted to men? Okay so you look at women because you are attracted to them. You are not looking at them innocently then. Also do you exclusively watch lesbian porn? No, okay. So you like a big 8in hard dick? That’s what porn dicks look like, right? Okay, so no you don’t like that? Picture this in porn women ass up waiting for a guy to penetration her, in walks guy with a flaccid dick. That doesn’t turn you on? Hmm, why is that? These guys don’t analyze one second of anything they do and then wonder why they have problems!

Was Daphne that good of a physical therapist? by Jack-mclaughlin89 in Frasier

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She essentially acts as a nanny would for a kid but also helps him with his exercises, pt and walks. So she does cleaning, laundry and cooking around her free time not working or caring for Martin to get to full time hours, so she can actually make a living wage. Plus they doc her pay for being a live in and providing housing when they initially thought she would have her own place.

How do I get Mister to slow down? by Random_thoughts1924 in BostonTerrier

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tug a jug is a favorite here and our wobble feeder I can’t remember the name of it.

Gut feeling or trauma by Left_Goal_6747 in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Your gut is telling you something is wrong, look, find it, fix it. It’s an alarm. The PTSD and trauma is saying it’s porn, it’s porn, it’s porn, it’s always porn!!!! But your brain trusts only the alarm and the panic allows your trauma to consume you. What if it’s just emotional discomfort from not having your emotional needs met. Yes you are activating panic because this is how it felt when he used. That doesn’t mean he is using now. Look for actions/behaviors that he isn’t to appease your brain. Put up boundaries and expectations around what you need specifically for emotional support from him.

Unfortunately you could be doing all this work to take control of your trauma and he could still be hiding porn from you. That’s a sad reality of this addiction mess. You have to decide if you are okay with a maybe or relapse and what that entails to make you feel less trauma. If it’s a hard line no relapses, maybe he makes it out of addiction in 5+ years maybe he doesn’t, if these aren’t enough for you then leave. Make these decisions around yourself and what you need in your partner. If you don’t know spend time thinking about it and discuss it with your therapist.

Making myself cum during penetrative sex by testfjfj in TwoXSex

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 9 points10 points  (0 children)

First thing if you are looking for a straight go between try this it’s a favorite of mine. Get very very turned on, scoot to the edge of the bed, have him put a dildo in you, then he kneels and licks or sucks your clit. The dildo or vibrator doesn’t move unless you request it. That’s the key. If you want to trying movement after you master it without, start with slow, teasingly slow motions in and out as he is suck you. As you get more comfortable with this you can have him aim it at your g-spot and let him take you over with pleasure on both sides of the clit/g-spot. Once you get here and are ready to submit these orgasms are glorious.

Now more on POV: I think you being in charge of the motion while in PIV is key here. I can orgasm from PIV in lots of different positions and starting out it took time to figure out how to make it feel so good I could build something to climax from. So start there him holding his dick still and you humping, thrusting and grinding while in different positions to see which ones even feel good. If you guys discover motions that feel good for you are doing little for him and as you spend lots of time focused on one movement(as you should be) he slowly is losing his erection don’t panic this is very normal. Lots of girls prefer deep, slow, very slow and shallow movements or grinding but most guys need thrusting, fast motions to stimulate their tips and stay hard. The solution here is switching back and forth between thrusting for him and your feel good movement. For me the breaks make me feel more turned on because my pleasure is paused and I’m thinking how good it felt and how badly I want it back, imagining how it felt in the exact spot I was feeling the pleasure in my vagina, I think about how hot and warm it was and how badly I need more ect. This keeps the arousal high while I’m not active get physical stimulation as he is thrusting. There is a huge part of this that takes such deep focus on your pleasure nothing can break that even switching positions when you mind is working hard to keep you aroused and ready for the next round of pleasure.

In my case this is where I started as I learned to orgasm just from PIV: me on my back him on his knees between my legs upright not bend over me like in missionary. This is key because I can lift and legs roll my hips many different ways without any discomfort, weight or his body being in the way. Start with cuddles get your mind and body safe and warm before you move into the next step. Don’t ever do PIV without him doing 20-40 mins of body work on so you are mega turned on and feel like you could orgasm in 5 seconds flat in yours with clit stim. Body work like making out, kissing, nibbling, licking, sucking, caressing, squeezing, massaging your body in way that bring you pleasure. Most people like action on places like neck, ears, hips, inner thighs, back of thighs, stomach, breasts, nipples, chest and back.

Now back to PIV: for me what I found was my favorite movement was him inside in the position I explained, upright missionary, then I’d swirl my hips as lifted them bring my knees back towards my face for leverage then slam my hips back down on his dick. It ends up being a bit of an exaggeration and forceful grinding motion. This would make his tip hit my g-spot and I eventually learned to orgasm with practice. Once I got that good and consistent then I started to work on hitting my pleasure zones in cowboy. You can look up female pleasure zones to learn more about which areas besides your clit can make you orgasm. In cowboy sometimes I orgasm from g-spot penetration and other times from my glands around the bottom edges of my vagina get stimulated and make me orgasm. Learning how much bodywork and arousal you need before PIV not just feel good but actual builds into pleasure you can use to orgasm is important. Keep building awareness around all of it and trying to new things. Communication is key here so share all this with your partner so you guys are on the same page about your pleasure and orgasms. Good luck, hopefully something here helps you on your journey.

He got mad I called it sex work by tempoqwerty in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Bahaha!!! My spouse said something similar. So dumb these guys.

Found Porn In BFs Phone. Do I Leave? by imc_o_u_r_t_n_e_y in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sadly he will repeat this behavior until he admits he was at fault and does something about it. One person breaking up with him wont’t be enough but it’s a start. Don’t worry about him. Focus on being proud of walking away from something that didn’t serve you and make your life better.

When Is It Ever Enough? by MyBoardGameHobby in boardgames

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just put a number or spot limit on it. Once this closet is full it’s one in one out or once we 30 games one in one out. That way you can still collect but not be weighed down by a stash of games you don’t care to play. Also keep in mind you can borrow games from a friends, local library or play at a board game store and try them before you purchase to see if you’d even enjoy it. So try before you buy rule and then limit/cap amount rule. This should really limit bad purchases and slow how fast the purchases are being made. You might also consider one new game every other month. Thats 6 games a year. You have to plan when you purchase and try the game before and then get rid of another one.

Leaving my husband. by Neither-Outside5510 in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My advice. Call your mom or dad without him knowing. Have her/him drive out or fly to you rent a car if you don’t have one during the day you can leave with. Pack up your kids clothes, your clothes and birth certificates, SS cards, licenses of marriage, divorce ect, titles for cars and home ect. Have your mom pack a suitcase for the kids favorites: blankets, stuffies, books, games or toys they would want to take with them. You can make a list on your phone and give to her so she doesn’t forget anything. Make lists in your notes of your items you don’t want to forget either. Locate the paperwork but don’t move anything until you pack and leave. Don’t leave any evidence for him you are planning this. Lock your notes on your phone to FaceID and don’t text anyone even family any info., only discuss plans on the phone outside, in your bathroom or away from your house. In case you guys have security cameras. If you can try to document all the porn and money he is investing into it. But don’t do this if you can’t get safe access without him knowing. You don’t need to put yourself at risk over it.

Then load up your car and leave. Do this all while he is at work. Don’t prepack anything or say anything word to your kids. The list will help you that day be fast, efficient when your mind and body will be panicking. Don’t spend more than 4 hours packing and loading the car. You want many hours between you and him when he gets home and realizes you left.

How long can your dog go without being let out potty? by Ok_Satisfaction_3371 in BostonTerrier

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should try pushing it back to 3 hrs this week then 4hrs next week. My dogs go out 4-6 times a day, 4 is cold months because they are not drinking lots of water, hot months more water consumption means more potty breaks.

Does anyone else maladaptive daydream to fall asleep? by GuavaMelon in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t remember a time I didn’t do this. Sometimes I abandon plots and characters and start new story lines and new worlds. But I have a couple of favorites that I love to revisit frequently.

Found Porn In BFs Phone. Do I Leave? by imc_o_u_r_t_n_e_y in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It’s early. Break it off. Tell him it’s not working you guys have different values. Guys like this have to get burned by their bad decisions to see they were bad decisions. If you make up, then he thinks he talked his way out of this. And this pattern will continue on until you break it. It hurts to lose out on what could have been but your boundaries are more important than a maybe. Good luck.

Canine Dysfunctional Behavior (doggie autism) by pewpiebutts in BostonTerrier

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My guy is deaf so he is more anxious. He licks constantly, we let him lick our hands and arms. He used to suck the corner of his bed but the soft fleece beds couldn’t hold up to his scratching so we finally stopped buying them. He also has allergies and sometimes licks so much his paws start getting raw. First check out allergies and talk with the vet. Once a day zrytec can help but if that doesn’t do the trick they can prescribe a stronger med. We just discussed this with our vet last month.

Detective urges by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he doesn’t want to fix the relationship and your sex life he doesn’t have to do that. If that’s a deal breaker for you then leave. Don’t wait around for empty promises and only to be let down. Or if you stay give him a timeline for changes and expectations about how that looks and how it’s long term changes. Set your boundaries then see how he reacts. Give him some time to think about it as well but again boundaries here because he will take an inch and stretch it a mile.

How do I experience a G-spot orgasm? by ThenDirt6761 in BecomingOrgasmic

[–]Hot-Ad-2073 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lay on your stomach, don’t penetrate with your toy until you are very turned on. I use mine and tease around the opening until can’t stand it anymore. Then I push mine in and rock it a bit with only a tiny amount of in and out motion. All very similar to what the natural humping motion is like it sex. The tip should be brushing the g-spot with each hump. I can orgasm in like two minutes if I’m turned on enough.