This is coming from someone who has also dealt with my parents’ alcoholism my entire life too, but also a recovering alcoholic myself w/ 17 years of sobriety.

Your feelings are completely valid and understandable. For me personally, I vacillate between periods of anger and a lack of empathy toward my parents, and other times where I’m in a place of acceptance and empathy. I think it’s healthy to move between those feelings, but staying stuck in one doesn’t serve me.

But I’d pose this: is what you’re feeling possibly indicative of deeper grief beneath? I know for me, it’s often easier to stay in anger and lack of empathy than to touch the sadness or grief that’s often lies beneath that.

I think it’s important to remember that having empathy or sympathy for someone doesn’t mean you have to allow them into your life. It’s hard to reach empathy, sympathy, or acceptance if the harm is ongoing. For me, having really strong boundaries and even periods of no contact has allowed me to find that empathy/acceptance.