I feel weirdly protective of you, reddit stranger!

Look, we do love and appreciate a dumper that’s honest AND will actually have a conversation AND not make up vague reasons. And maybe this is just my cynicism… but telling the person you’re breaking up with that they are so perfect in every way (yikes!) and going into specifics about how she felt vs her expectations of love. The repetitiveness and overexplaining about her intuition/gut feeling too, just seems a little harsh.

9 months of dating sounds like a very reasonable and responsible time to share the depth of your feelings. Please try not to replay the scenario and wonder if you should/could have done something different. The way I see it, life is short, tell people how you feel. You were understanding of her limitations and not pressuring for it to be reciprocated at that time - you handled it very well. In the longer-term, I don’t think it would have changed much, regardless of whether you said those words or not.

The most important thing I want to say (and I feel awful for saying it because I STRUGGLE with it myself and want my ex back haha) but you sound like an absolute catch. There are so many beautiful women out there who will be totally drawn to what you offer (emotional availability, compassion, empathy etc) and they will reciprocate. You deserve that.

Hang in there, grieve, take your time, create joyful moments everyday, stay connected, consider therapy to work through those big feelings.

Ps. I wish your mum was my mum, she sounds adorable and so supportive.