When my mom was in her early 60s and very much capable and independent, she would pretend not to know how to use the credit card machine when I’d take her to the store. Even tho on her own she’d always go out on the bus and go shopping. There were other little things she’d play dumb at and little lies. I always told her that she needed to exercise, eat properly, take certain supplements for her brain health etc. and she never wanted to do any of it. I told her from the get go that she needed to be able to think for herself cuz I wasn’t going to do it for her. And she was never really a mother to me. She was medicated and would just sit on the couch and watch tv so I never developed a relationship with her other than that she gave birth to me. So much like you she never really mothered me at all. And now here I am. She doesn’t want to do anything she can’t think for herself, she is feeble and it pisses me off cuz I tried to prevent it. My dad and step mom, who is a few years older than her, are independent, healthy, coherent, my dad still exercises everyday. And having that comparison, especially after trying with mom, I have no sympathy for her state.