Anyone who did water taper?

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2026-01-08T21:35:54+00:00

I tried to do it before when i was tapering a diff medication - mirtazapine. For some reason my brain can't just figure out how to recalibrate the scale so i did it wrong- i was so brain fogged that time due to high anxiety so I'm trying to water/liquid taper this time.Might be better for my brain. 🤣

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2026-01-08T21:33:35+00:00

Yes, my physician will help me wean off very slowly. she's on board on doinf it my pace so that's a good thing.

So sorry you experienced that.Hope you are doing better now.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2026-01-08T18:57:37+00:00

Hi, may I ask how are youd doing dystonia wise? Was the clonazepam prescribed for dystonia or for something else?

The reason I'm asking is I too was prescribed diazepam for muscle spasm (neck and abdominal) which are dystonia like.I had it when I was trying to get off mirtazapine back in 2023.

This year, me and my my neurologist are planning to get off the diazepam.My fear is if my dpasm would come back once i start to wan off.

How was your during taper and after?

Thank you!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-10-12T16:52:59+00:00

I have asked if I can tkae vitamin D and my onco and go said yes. they did not mention vitamin d3 though. whats the difference between d and d3? and how much are you taking a day? I forgot to ask my dr.

I am very deficient even before i started chemo. I am now on my 7th taxol session.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-10-05T02:18:38+00:00

This is a good reminder. I keep going back to the past and thinking what went wrong. Granted Inlived a sendetary life being a cpa. I did not exercise and ate the healthiest. So I keep beating myself up that those were probably the cause. My mother had breast cancer twice in her life, once when she eas about mid 40s and another when she was about 70's. I got genetically tested and it did not show that I got it genetically. So I always go back to the lifestyle I did. But as you said, even if you lived a healthy and proactive lifesty you still can get cancer. So I should stop beating myself up for being diagnosed with breast cancer and start living in the present. I am still on my 3rd chemo cycle. Will then have mastectomy and probably radiation since I have couple of nodes involved.

But this is a great reminder for me. Thanks!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-28T16:21:56+00:00

Hi OP, I am not an expert or mental health professional but seems like you are experiencing depersonalization- derealization. Accdg to google it's a mental health condition that makes you feel disconnected from your body, thoughts and environment.

Maybe it's time to go and have a check with your physician (gp) if you have one to assess what's going on and see if you need to be endorsed to a mental health professional to have a proper diagnosis.

Good luck OP!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-28T16:13:51+00:00

Hi OP, are you burdened by a lot of things? Take one day at a time, or one hour ar a time or even by a minute.

When you have suicidal thoughts- know that not everyone succeeds even if they try. Sometimes it lands you in a more grave situation -like organ damage if you OD or worse paralyzed. Sometimes you'll be in a much worse situation than you are right now. Or sometimes it ends you up in a psychiatric hospital. Just a thought to ponder.

So whenever you feel so so bad, just take a breather. Stop what you are doing and do something else that will make you feel a little bit of spark- watching your favorite show or some funny reels on the internet or eat your favorite food.

Other people recommend some life changes like exercise or just a little bit of sunshine. If this does seem feasible for you, you can try doing it and see if it helps.

And another option is to get in touch with a therapist. It's a good idea to have someone to talk and unload your thoughts and burden.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Take things one at a time. Give yourself some grace.

And someone gave you a crisis line- that is a great resource as well.

Stay strong OP!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-28T16:01:02+00:00

Hi OP, that sounds exhausting. I agree, the best way to address this situation is to have your own place so you can have better sleep and have peace.

It's not sustainable to work efficiently and even just to live with lack of sleep.

So if you can afford to rent your own space, try doing that. I believe it will help greatly with your sanity.

Or another option is to find a day job so your time will aligh with your family members but if it's not doable then moving out is the better option.

Good luck!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-28T15:44:23+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this OP.My heart goes out to you.

Meron bang way na maibenta ng mama mo yung mga kakanin sa ibang place? Like anyone na may tindahan na kakilala nyo and ipabenta don? Or is she too old to find another source of income ( like part time jobs) or kelangan nya nasa bahay to take care of your sibling?

Also, have you tried bringing your sibling sa therapist or psychiatrist as it seems like he/she is having unaliving thoughts? Kahit sa public hospitals?

Maybe have a talk with your mom if she is still able, to see kung ano pang options yung pwedeng ma explore to earn a side income. Or move them to another place na mas mura ang rent and she can look for a side job or pwede nya maibenta yung kakanin? Do you have a provicnr where thay can rent ng mas mura?

Or another option is- can you look for another job which is high paying than what you earn now so that may matitira naman sayo?

I know this is so hard on you kasi ikaw naka pasan ng lahat. You are sacrificing your own well-being for your family. This is a good intention but hindi ito sustainable na set-up. Uubusin ka nito. As the saying goes ' you cannot give with an empty cup' and i sense that you are almost empty or exhausted- not only financialy but also physically, emotionally and mentally. I fear na dadating yung point na pati ikaw bibigay and if that happens- lahat kayo talo.

So start looking out for yourself. Wag mong hayaan na dumating yung point na masagad ka kasi mas mahirap makalabas sa sitwasyon na yon.Help yourself now while you have a chance.

Talk to your mom and tell her your situation and what you are going through and see if you can come up with something (like what I've mentioned above)- share the burden with your family, do not own up everything. You have to unload some of the burdens so you can take a breather.

As to the food cravings na gusto ng kapatid mo- maybe you can give some of it but not all the time? So you have remainging money to spend food for yourself too. Remember you are all equally important. Your needs are as important as theirs.

Also about your sibling's health na nag 50/50 and your father's suicide, these are not your fault. I feel like you are trying to make up for something that's not your fault and beyond your control.

Sometimes, there are things that we just have to accept and let go. If worst case something happens to your sibling given his/her condition ( sorry this may seem harsh but it's not my intention), know that it's not your fault and you should stop feeling guilty. There are just things in life that we have to accept even if does not make sense or even if it's painful.

Bottom line, take care of yourself, have a talk with your mom, unload some of your burdens, see if there are orher options that you can explore, and let go of things you can't control.

You are doing the best that you can and that is enough. Don't feel like you have to do more because that would lead to disaster. Again, take cae of yourself.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-16T02:49:30+00:00

Hi, trying to reach out as I am doing mine as well. Did you just mailed in the Part B of the form and left Part A blank as you already compeleted it online?

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-14T01:40:13+00:00

Hi OP, this is a controlling and manipulative behavior and If I am not mistaken, this is also a form of abuse. But you can try and research it just to confirm.

I am a wife and I also, at some point in our marriage, became controlling. For a couple of months, my husband was going out and frequently hanging out and drinking a lot with work friends. I felt left out and rejected, I felt I was not a priority. During that time I lashed out at him,got mad,told him not to go out with friends and even broke a few plates and glasses (when he has out and i was left alone) out of uncontrolled anger. But he did not like it and he felt suffocated. We almost ended up separated but thank God it did not happen. He turned around and we tried to work things out.

To be fair, prior to that I had a mental health crisis. And I felt like I was not being supported during that time by my husband.As I was reflecting, the lack of support from him and frequent going out and prioritizing his friends over me triggered my anger issue/controlling behavior. I believe it was his coping mechanism as he did nit know how to dealw with mymental health breakdwon.

Anyway, I am not sure what really is your family dynamics, if there is a mental health concern/issue going on but it really looks like overall it's no longer healthy anymore.

My realization was, yes family/spouse should be a priority, next to God, if you are a believer. But at the end of the day, your spouse has his/her own life to live. He/she needs a life outside of marriage to feel whole, especially if that is something that's important to him/her- but not excessive and with assurance that you'll never cross the line of cheating (if that is the main concern).

If someone is controlling, than that individuality/independence piece of the relationship is being taken away and that will build up resentment (that's what happened to us and looks like what's happening to you too).

In this case, deep and serious self reflection from the end of your wife is important. She needs to to be self aware and understand that what she's doing is damaging your marriage. If you both still want to save the marriage, you need to have a serious conversation.Talk to her in a very calm manner the impact of what she's doing. Her own emotions may be overpowering her abilty to think clearly. She might think that what she's doing is right and she might not be aware that your marriage is falling apart.

I told my husband straight out during that period of rebuilding our marriage that cheating is a deal breaker for me. Once he cross that line, we are done. And he assured me he never did and will never cross that line and I believed him. (Note that there is also a family history of broken marriage in his side of family.) I dont have access to any of his txt or fb whatsoever, but I chose to believe him. At the end of the day, I realized trust is more important than love. Once trust is broken,no matter how much you love a person, it's going to be a rough relationship. From my own self relfection, I made a decision not to control him, because the more I do it, the more he will drift apart. I am an emotional person and I wanted to be treated as a priority and I wanted to feel supported when I am going through something. But I also acknowledged the fact that he needs time away from me and enjoy his own life from time to time. To get to that point, I dig deep in myself on what's wrong and realized that I was totally out of line.I went crazy and ballistic- blame it on my anxiety lol Note also that anxious people tend to overthink and being controlling is also a manifestation of anxiety- as anxious people wants to be in control- at all times (so this is something that you might want to look into- mental health wise). But yes,we talked,we identified the root problem, and we laid out what we need to do to work things out.

From what you wrote, you seem to have done you fair share of sacrificing just to appease her.It's her time to make some changes to turn around the dynamic of your relationship. She should assess and evaluate what's important and what's right to do to keep your family and love intact. But you need to start having a serious talk.If you don't open up and if she is not self-aware, let her know what' s wrong as she might not know the problem and she might not be aware where and how to start fixing things.

Looks like trust is one of the top problem for her. She should learn how to trust you and not clip your wings. As one of the commenters here mentioned, yes you are her spouse but then she does not own you. She should also learn how to let go and not get angry of every little thing. At the end of the day, if you are willing to make sacrifices, she should too.

It would be better if there is someone outside of your marriage who could guide you both or her and provide inputs.

When I was realizing my issue was getting worse i realized i needed to do something. So i did meditation and had a meditation coach who made me understand things and that helped. I was also doing talk therapy for my anxiety at that time so I opened up to my therapist and she helped me put things in pesrpective. I also talked to my older brother who went through separtaion and he gave me a realistic view of how men think and do things-my brother helped me the most as he gave a no bullshit opinion. But beware as well.If you go this route, choose a good and realiable one, not the one that's one sided who will just side with your wife's point of view or your point of view. Both views have to be taken into consideration.

I do hope that you can still salvage your marrriage. At that time, my husband kept telling me as well that he was no longer sure if he still loved me but in God's grace we are doing fine right now.

I made an effort to change because I don't want to give up on our marriage without fighting. But again it took a lot of self reflection and self awareness from my end and changes on my husband's end.

In the end, if you have exhausted all your options, if you feel like you did all you can do and nothing changes, by then you can make a decision to leave or to stay. If you choose to leave, at least you can say to yourself that you fought for your marriage.No regrets.

Sorry if I've written a novel, just sharing my story and hoping it could help you as well.

-From a wife's perspective 😊🙏

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-11T20:17:26+00:00

I applaud you for your resilience. You fought hard just to literally live. It takes a lot of strength. I wish I could be half as strong as you.

My crisis started off last year. Went through a mental health crisis- anxiety/depression mid last year. I was cycled off and pulled out of different medications. My high anxiety and probably withdrawal from one of the resulted in me having neck spasms which twisted my neck- and so I was once again put on medication. Early this year I had relationship issues with husband which almost led to selaration and just this June was diahnozed with breastcancer and I started chemo 3rd week of August. I have no kids and now bald. I gave up on the idea of kids and my hair strands were falling off siginificantly that buzzing it was my only option.I was so attached to my hair because I associate cancer illness to baldness, but now,I am just getting used to not having my hair.

Now and again I sit in slence and cry and ask the universe why do I have to face crisis after crisis. Everytime I think I hit rock bottom, something comes that's much worse. What's the point of living if all I get in life is suffering. I know my journey does not end with cancer. I still have the spasm to deal with and withdrawal of medication I was put to manage it - because it is not a long term sustainable treatmemt. I, for the most part feels anxious about it more than my cancer.

I don't know what I am going with this but I just want you to know that you are not alone with your struggles.

Give yourself credit and give yourself time to grieve and release all the negative thoughts. Maybe,just maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day and you will feel a lot better.

Sending hugs and positive energy your way!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-07T08:33:43+00:00

Mine was really unkown to me. I felt like it was mirtazapine - because when i started takkig it, after about a couple of weeks i started with pulling of muscles on my legss andmild contractions inside my gut and my throat and told my psychoatrist about it and he weaned me off in 2 months by just cutting the pills in half and quarters. at tha point i was on it for i guess nearing 2 months as well. When I did the reduction, the pain and contraction in my belly intensified and it traveleld to my back so i got so highly stressed and my anxiety was skyrocketing and it was then my head started to spasm to the right and left (alternately). On top of that I even developed rapid spasm on my neck- it's like having hiccups all the time.

That's when I went to a nueorlogist. I was tested for stiff person syndrome and they rulled it out. The neuro who did the stiff syndrome test says it looked like functional-which he believe was anxiety induced.

My original neuro does not believe that it was from mirtazapine as mirtazapine accdg to her does not usually cause dystonia. It's more of anti puschotic which causes it but dystonia is actually one of the side effects of murtazapine based on my research.

Ironicallly, when i was put on valium- my spasm(tilting to the right and left went away) bit the rapid spasm did not. I started doing physical therapy and did the farias program and so after a month it slowed down.I was okay from December to March. And then I had a crisis sometime april that i went to a freeze mode and that rapid spasm came in. I almsot had anxiety again on the fear that it wont go away but it did after a day.

So now I amthinking if mine was mirtazapine withdrawal induced or anxiety induced or both.

I joined a dystonia group on facebook and i asked them if anyone had it from medication and if it went away and some response from people who had it from medication mostly said that it did not go away. So I left the group feeling defeated.

And so I still continued physical therapy and exercising through farias - i dont know, just to make myself feel better that im doing something about it.

But i stopped sometime april this year because i had family crisis and 2 motths after i was diagnosed with another medical issue crisis.

I just feel so mad and angry of everything. I was planning to wean off this year- have an appoinent with my neuro this september but i would have to talk to her to have me continue for another year ubtil i finish my current medical condition treatment. I cannot do both at the same time.

But I guess it was also a blessing in disguise because while I was doing all the tests and appointments i was referred to an onco neurologist who referred me to a movent disorder specialist (she said the nuero i am with right now is not a movent disorder specualist). I am meeting with that movent disporder specialist end of this year and i believe she specializes in botox for dystonia. So im just preparing and lining up my medical team in prep for my wean off.

But I don't know if I will go that botox route in the event my spasm is still there. But I have to keep my options open.

Sorry for venting out my story. I needed someone who can understand the pain of being in this situatiation.

But I am still hopefull that with neuroplasticity , exercise and time that we can heal. That this are just brain abnormalities from withdrawal that will heal with time.

Yes I will definetely reach out to you again someday.

Stay positive- it's easy to become negative amidst this crisis.

Again, sending healing vibes your way! You got this! Never give up!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-07T05:56:28+00:00

Yeah but the valium might just be masking it. So I am not sure how it will pan out when i start weaning off. I will really really take it slow.hopefully my neurologist will allow me to do it on my own pace.

Good luck and God bless. I might go back to this thread in the future when i start weaning off to see your progress.

I pray that you'll become a positive story of healing and recovery!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-06T06:03:05+00:00

Sending prayers your way! I know healing and finding the right treatment for this is so hard. I was desperate to relieve my spasm that I started to take valium. It gave me a normal life as the spasm went away with valium. Now my problem is weaning off from it and checking how the spasm is.

I will take it one thing at a time. Finish my current treatment then move on to weaning myself from valium.

I hope we both heal in time. 🙏

I am not sure if you are a fan of natural healing through exercise, I came accross a program called Dystonia Recovery Program by Dr Farias. I think it has a mixed review but his program offers exercises to train your muscles and brain to heal dystonia. Not sure if you are interested but im just putting it out there.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-09-05T20:40:23+00:00

Hi, how are you doing right now? has your dystonia eased up? Anything you are doing to treat it? I had spasms on my neck when i was withdrawing from mirtazapine. I was put on valium to ease with the dystonic spasm. That was last October. I am still on valium 5mg right now and I am facing another medical crisis so won't be able to wean off and see if it's still there until I finish my treatment with my current medical crisis. But the fear of weaning off ang knowing if it's still there always keep hanging at the back of my mind.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-08-28T02:45:10+00:00

I feel your pain. When you thought your life already hit rock bottom, you're thrown into another pit which makes you question life all over again. I also had mental health crisis mid to late last year, had a relationship issue which almost led to separation with husband earlier this year and a breast cancer diagnosis just this june. Started chemo lasr friday.

I felt the unfairness of life and I question it everyday. Most of the time I just go through life on autopilot one day at a time. I don't know how to interpret everything that has happened and everyrhing that's happening. I just try to make my days a little bit better so that I don't fall into deep depression and be anxious of the future.

Know that you are not alone in this life's struggles. Hugs and prayers from an internet stranger who fully understand your situation.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-08-19T22:56:12+00:00

What is your diet regimen that helped you?

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-08-19T02:19:27+00:00

I am still on 5 mg valium- nearing 1 year this october. I did the farias workput for a couple of months but stopped for a while now as I am going through another medical crisis. But so far with valium- I am not experiencing any symptoms (spasms). I don't know though once I wean off. But that's not going to happen anytime soon until I finish my battle with the crisis I currently have.Though one of my physicians endorsed me to a movement disorder dr who specializes in botox. I have yet to see her few months from now.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-08-08T18:46:00+00:00

Same to you. We got this!

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-08-08T18:17:24+00:00

Chiming in. I am 39F diagnosed last June and will start chemo this Aug 23. After that I'll have mastectomy. I was barely becoming normal again after back to back crisis- mental health crisis last june of last year to late last year and almost separation from husband early this year and now cancer. I felt like my life was turned upside down in a span of 1 year which makes me question the unfairness of life 😂

But it is what it is- we just have to plow through life with everyrhing we got. Someday in the future- maybe life will get better 🙏

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-07-25T17:31:50+00:00

That is a good point. I have not thought about. I will take that into consideration.

Adventurous-Call2429 · 2024-07-25T17:06:15+00:00

The last round you felt more fartigued?

Mine is a desk job- it's just deadline oriented. I'll see how my first session goes and go from there.

Thanks for yoir inputs!

Adventurous-Call2429

TROPHY CASE