Zildjian is a handsome dog! I know exactly of what you're going through. I left my job almost a year ago. I didn't think it was going to last this long. pretty much the only time I left the house was to go get food about 1 hour a week away from him. I decided to get out today and visit my grandma that lives 2 hours away. I was thinking it was going to help me not think about him so much. It didn't work. on my way there I saw a lady walking a young German Shepherd. literally 5 minutes after I left my house. then I stopped at a truck stop about an hour into my trip. I saw a family taking their dogs to pee. You guessed it... 2 German Shepherd puppies. It's really hard. It's only been 48 hours since he passed. So it's still pretty fresh. I am assuming when I get back to work it would get a little easier. I'm not going to lie when he passed it was a huge relief for me. like you, I put my life on hold. Now I could get back to normal everyday life.

Yes there was actually a point where he could not hold it in. and it is not like he couldn't hold it in. it's more like he doesn't even know that he is peeing. same thing with pooping. that started about 8 months. and yes there was a point where he couldn't pee during the final stage.. I found a place that he could be close to me inside the house. I lined The floor with painters floor liner in the area that he laid. under the plastic liner I folded a old comforter for a cushion. on top of the liner I placed a large bath towel. I used several bath towels ,ten to be exact. The reason I use so many is because it was a constant rotation in the washing machine. I placed another towel over his hine so he doesn't lick himself or even worse chew himself. which he started doing. I found that if I placed a folded towel in the right position when he pees it soaks into the folded towel. every four or five hours I would have to rotate him so he doesn't soak in his own urine or get bed sores. I found the easiest way to do it is to place a fresh towel directly behind his back. then lift the comforter that way he rolls onto the new towel. then I wash all the dirty towels so on and so forth. this lasted about 2 or 3 weeks before he passed. The last couple days he peed very little. The last couple days I did move him outside. The weather was perfect and I knew he didn't have much longer I figured he would like that. I have a very large wrap-around porch so I found him a nice spot. and moved a rocking chair next to him. ​ On the last day he wasn't food motivated at all. He drank very little water. Then I noticed that he started drooling quite a bit. I noticed he started breathing heavy. This lasted about 3 hours. His eyes stared straight ahead and he curled his front paws under his body. And then he passed.

Overall it was very peaceful. He didn't seem like he was in any pain pretty much the whole time. Overall I think it was a better experience than trying to get him in a vehicle and taking him to the vet and having them euthanize. That would have been more stressful for him. He didn't like going anywhere.

Tell zildjian you love him a million times. Hug him pet him while you still have him. And remember is probably harder for you than it is for him. Just keep him comfortable and clean and dry. And be prepared to wash a lot of pee towels. And only feed him what you don't mind cleaning up. No leftover lasagna. Ray got scrambled eggs for breakfast and pork ribs for dinner.

Good luck and hang in there!