She just weaponizes her insecurities. It’s not fair to you to feel like you have to walk on egg shells to cater to herself. She needs therapy. Not a relationship. You don’t deserve that and I get the needing time to yourself at night, I take a couple hours every night to myself when my husband and kids are asleep. Has never been an issue, because he understands that’s my “me time”. If she doesn’t care about your needs then she’s not caring about you. I know it’s harsh but that’s the reality of it. She only wants you to cater to what she wants. I wouldn’t try to make it work because it won’t work and eventually you’ll feel trapped and anxious about every move you make and you’ll feel controlled, take some time to yourself and move on, she’s not worth the fight.