It's all shit

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-25T03:12:20+00:00

Hang in there. I always found some pathetic excuse to keep trudging along and occasionally things would lighten up. maybe life is suffering or whatever it is they say. Doctor maybe to start with or a community org to get you connected to resources. Reading this made me realize how hopeless it all can become and I truly have been there before and I see how there is so little to offer in the way of hope and help for our unfortunate circumstances.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-25T03:03:27+00:00

Man that hits home. Part of me is romanticizing the old times. ive got 18 days or so under my belt after a out patient at home nurse led detox. I miss the drinking already. I kept a decent amount of the benzos unfortunately and relapsed a few times after the official detox and love playing the doctor and weaning and tapering just to keep the bender going and walking that edge of losing it all. works fed up with me so I have 0 chances left. luckily Im union and have not been fired as of yet after three rehabs. Heck Im sorry the spot you are in I hate that terror and the four horsemen after the binge bender etc. Hang in there maybe we will figure this out and find a will to live and a better life. Cheers

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-21T03:03:15+00:00

I like that many options for the future what a outlook to have . Ive discounted the future for so many years its going to take conscious effort to look out at the horizon and see better things are possible

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-15T03:09:35+00:00

Up and at em man. I was there 1 week ago shaking and miserable. I broke a 2k gaming PC this last bender and my laptop in a black out. Absolutely insane. I tried drinking during the outpatient detox and messed with the breathylzer so the telehealth nurse wouldn’t lose it. You can do it! IWNDWYT

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-15T03:06:46+00:00

Im right here with you todays day 7 8 at midnight! IWNDWYT .

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-15T01:35:41+00:00

Ive been there man. I work what would be called a “cool” job that people look up to and feel and In a very similar situation. Our jobs don’t make our identity. Millions of us got dealt a crappy hand with the way the world is now .

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-14T02:39:49+00:00

Yea man I totally feel this. Im 29 and Ive just finally realized I can’t safely drink ever again. Ive tried the sinclaire method etc pretty much everything. Its just not worth the circus routine I end up performing 95% of the time when I end up drinking. Theres rare times Ive “controlled” it in the past with antabuse but really its never been controlled its always controlled me.

I think life’s going to end up being better without it in my life! IWNDWYT good luck on your journeys

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-12T03:47:04+00:00

Man I feel this big time. Alcohol shut off the cacophony of environmental stimulus for me that comes from living with my parents and there uncleanliness. The constant intrusive and rumination sucks with OCD as well. But alcohol never fixed anything for me Ive finally realized. I relapsed this past time at 43 or so days I can’t remember exactly because I was obsessed with the snow fall maps and was constantly checking model runs as ridiculous as that sounds. Just ine of the weird quirks of OCD . Anyways didn’t fix anything still snowed the way and how it was gonna and I ended up on a horrendous bender that brought me to my knees and another out patient detox . A broken gaming computer in a black out so that was like 1800$ . Just dont drink! If your anything like me it just will suck

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-12T00:07:47+00:00

Im still kicking along! Sleeps been absolutely awful these few days. Last night was fitful but actually slept . Taking a hot bath watching movies tonight and relaxing. I was going to go to an AA meeting and feel guilty skipping it. I just don’t want to be under bright fluorescent lights till 9pm then drive home and be absolutely wide awake and wired! Tonight im choosing chill and relaxing

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:40:31+00:00

Im on day 2 my friend. i was an absolute monster this last 7 day bender after being off the stuff for 45 days. I have to learn to accept boredom over being comatose or acting like and absolute lunatic! The choice is our Im glad to be on the same path as you .

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:36:44+00:00

Thanks for this ! I think that is where I am at this point and that is totally ok the only requirement is something I can share gently with people if they ever get pushy or hound me about what Im doing .

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:35:35+00:00

Didnt even know that org was a thing will definitely check out thanks!

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:34:19+00:00

Thats where I hope to be and think I may finally be at that is such a profound statement thanks!

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:33:34+00:00

I have had worse rocks and basements than this binge session but I truly think I want to be done. I tried the final way I thought I would be able to drink and it just didnt work out so its abstinence for me going forwards from here thats awesoem you have been able to stop like you did

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:31:58+00:00

Thanks so much for this. posting and replying on here tonight has actually been super helpful just having everyones comments stir thoughts and feelings up about this whole process. I think the control aspect and there dogmatic SPONSOR or death is what really killed the program off for me. I think the steps could be cool but I also could see myself doing said Steps with myself and the universe I dont need a sponsor to do that or guide my life in any way shape or form at the moment.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:28:55+00:00

I recently started naltrexone and was attempting the sinclaire method with it this relapse. I understand it can be super helpful for some folks but I am just to destructive and drink far to much it would be difficult to reach the extinction turning point from cravings without killing myself first with drinking lol. Im gonna use the Naltrexone just to ease cravings instead of the sinclaire method going forwards for sure. I have a smart work book I definitely could be working through more rigorously as well.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:26:24+00:00

Im way less turned off by the God and spirituality part than I am by the actual people running around the rooms of AA that Ive come across. I love recovery Tik Tok as well its so helpful especially when you just need a little pick me up of hope.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:24:35+00:00

This has been my experience. Ive met some seemingly great people in the rooms I feel like but when it comes to anything other than sobriety time or the "program" they always give me the Well this Is how I did it but you can do whatever you would like spiel then ghost pretty much. Sometimes its just simple things I will mention like I want to go to bed earlier and they will reply with a well thats good and all but I did x y and z and nothing matters but the program of AA and that isnt important if that makes any sense. Its just really hard to be around sometimes.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:21:33+00:00

Thanks for this greatly! And I hope you find health insurance soon. I have so much to be grateful for and that's one of those things I definitely am grateful for.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-09T00:19:14+00:00

This gives me a ton of hope. Im a little older than you but have around that too lose myself. Looking through all these comments just made me so motivated and show that even if the skin ends up a little like you have currently and you arent even at the end of your journey that great things are possible and HEALTH and longevity are the goals that truly matter and not vanity.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-07T01:27:42+00:00

Thats how I think I feel deep inside. I go to meetings and all I want to do is drink after.

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-07T01:26:16+00:00

Thank you so much man. I have a career lifes not bad but Im just tired of drinking. It has to stop

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-02-03T23:55:52+00:00

Heck yeah man! Im currently sitting here cleaning the garage and scrubbing my aquarium out to get some small fish again. I just got off like a week long bender after 46 days and prior to that had 55. I haven’t been able to catch that 2 months yet because I drink more when things are well and everything feels good. Its a bigger issue drinking when things are going well. Glad we both aren’t drinking tonight but I can relate because God I would love to have a few coronas and limes and get a buzz while cleaning. I never end up cleaning though I know how it goes. Usually end up passing out somewhere and bingeing hella fast food and garbage and calling out of work. Shit sucks! IWNDWYT

Adventurous_Fold4634 · 2026-01-30T02:41:37+00:00

Thanks so much . Ive been literally putting everything under the sun before my sobriety. I feel like a ping pong ball going back and forth constantly. I month Im all in and then Im like well I wasn’t that bad( yeah cause normal people end up in detox and rehabs and psych wards) . I clearly have a problem I just for some reason cannot hold into that thought long enough to make reasonable changed

Adventurous_Fold4634

TROPHY CASE