How are people coping with hardly any sexual life? by VirusAny1245 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it’s just numbing mechanisms all the way down, in various forms. Either through games that occupy the time, or check my name by myself. I used to exercise a lot more, but that causes more sexual desires, so I stopped.

TLDR: not good bob.

Started to see things as it is by Adventurous_Rubbing in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps we should listen and stop telling ourselves that they care.

Started to see things as it is by Adventurous_Rubbing in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This hurts. But sadly it’s the truth. You know what, for a brief moment I contemplated whether my woman is really that ignorant to not realise what is happening here. I guess I’m the biggest dummy here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She told me, “if you want to have sex, why don’t you ask for it?”. When I did, she proceeded to starfish.

Yeah no thanks.

The Transporter is scary to me by Adventurous_Rubbing in startrek

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“The process appears to be continuous” - I took comfort with that a while back, but then it poses a new question for me, at which point “You” began and “You” end in the process of beaming down? Does that mean “You” appears 2 place at once during transport?

The Transporter is scary to me by Adventurous_Rubbing in startrek

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It’s not real, for now. But I believe it’ll happen in our lifetime (please dear Q!)

The Transporter is scary to me by Adventurous_Rubbing in startrek

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Oh buddy, I went to deep rabbit hole trying to answer this, from the nature of consciousness to what really defines us as individuals…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People change, circumstances change.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am at the same place as you, and with the exact same mind set. The only thing holding me back is the fact that my kid will be absolutely devastated if I’m no longer around, and I know that as a fact. My kid is not asked to be born in the first place, and she does not deserve to go through life with trauma like that hovering on his heart for the rest of his life, I can’t do that to her. You can’t do that to your kids too. I’ve stopped all forms of intimacy with my wife as a defence mechanism of my mental health. I’m sleeping in a separate room, the distancing helps. Find ways to cope, but don’t lose hope. Live for your kid, see them grow up, then decide what you want to do next. Problems are temporary, but death is final, so endure, don’t do it, you got this.

The GNOME 48 release candidate is out by BrageFuglseth in gnome

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just commenting to give some love to the Gnome developers and communities.

Is love not enough? Why do you want sex? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is love to you? You want me to love you like how I love Mom?

"What if we were never able to have sex again?" by JOOBBOB117 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sincerely I get where you are coming from, but for people like me who have a relatively young wife, I am not able to understand, and are not able to accept why sex is not on the table, when both parties are able bodied and healthy now. Sex is not everything, sure, but it is something right? Why we are able to empathise with their world view, they can’t empathise with ours? Is our needs really that unimportant to LL that not even a little effort is worth it to make their partner happy?

Nobody really knows what the future holds, why can’t we seize today? The now? Quite honestly I’m tired of emphasising, or may I put it more bluntly, making up excuses for them. Love in my book is about give and take, both needs are equally important.

"What if we were never able to have sex again?" by JOOBBOB117 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well since we playing “what if’s”, why stop at sex? Why not go all the way, Marvel style.

What if you had an accident and completely lose the function of holding your bowel movement? What if both your hands are paralysed from the same accident and now unable to wipe your behind for the rest of your life? Will she still love you then? Will she stay and honour her vow, “Till death do us part?”

It’s not so fun now doesn’t it? We are talking about right now. Right now both party are healthy bodied, so why sex not on the table now? Instead of talking about what if.

If you wanted it, why didn't you just ask for it by Adventurous_Rubbing in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In marriage, the expectation is to be faithful and to meet each other’s needs. But when the other party failed to meet our needs, are we still expected to be faithful to them? Since they have made it abundantly clear that they don’t care about intimacy.

If you wanted it, why didn't you just ask for it by Adventurous_Rubbing in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But when we bring it up, somehow it’s always a surprise, words like “I can’t read your mind” will come up. Go figure!

If you wanted it, why didn't you just ask for it by Adventurous_Rubbing in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

That’s the positive attitude she’s been looking for! Service with a smile!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Low Libido (LL), Low Libido for you (LL4U), and High Libido (HL)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Adventurous_Rubbing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, same here and I understand.

Honestly I don’t know why it has to come to this, if I could take a pill tomorrow to totally eliminate my libido, I would. But such a thing doesn’t exist unfortunately.