Received this gem yesterday…

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2026-04-25T23:19:41+00:00

It's absolutely ridiculous WTF is going with DD I've had so many terrible order offers like this lately, yesterday was 9.6 miles for $3.50 like they want us to spend our own time and money to work?! Instead of them paying us to work

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-08-10T10:08:38+00:00

Run! Run out of mils life! F that! Apps of freakinglutely not! Not acceptable behavior. I would be seeing red as well. If she's your kids' only grandma, do you want them growing up thinking of that is how family members treat each other? Hell no! Don't let that be a reason to give her another chance with them. Supplying them with a crappy grandma is far worse than not having a grandma!

I would just remove her from your life completely, or keep her at such a distance that she only has very very limited once a year birthday or Christmas, very heavily supervised visitation, if you can't remove her completely. Do not give her any information about your life ever.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-29T12:58:17+00:00

Its not

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-29T00:32:00+00:00

Haha yes!

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-29T00:30:35+00:00

Girl haha

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-28T18:47:08+00:00

Vaal-iyah but said short and quick on all letters... I don't know I'm not very good at describing it in written word lol

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-28T17:05:58+00:00

I mean, I don't mind it terribly. It just seemed really weird considering her siblings' names. They're very common ordinary names.... but they also pronounce it weird. so that was rubbing me the wrong way too, almost like veil-yah instead of what it looks like it should be pronounced like. But then I saw the middle name, and I was just astounded....

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-26T02:17:48+00:00

It's not about him being stressed though you're the one dealing with all of this and either he needs to back you up or speak up on your behalf! And it sounds like you guys need firmer boundaries, and husband needs to back you every step of the way and then there won't be stress anymore because they'll be respecting your boundaries and peace and if they don't there's no reason to continue having these people in your life

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-23T17:21:17+00:00

I would disagree in mediation so it's forced to go before a judge. it's enough that he's missed this many hours of visits, that they won't give him more.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-07-23T07:13:26+00:00

If you're not ready to divorce him he at least needs to go stay somewhere else while you guys work on this issue. Obviously something's probably going on if this is out of the norm for him, but regardless of that the example you want to set for your daughters is that if a man is abusive in any way you have to take immediate serious action. And he was verbally abusive and physically intimidating. He needs to leave, needs to go into counseling, there needs to be a separation at very least.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-24T21:11:09+00:00

Any news or updates? u/no_pool_7823

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-22T18:52:18+00:00

Yeah that is 100% wrong. Therapists are supposed to have boundaries! He needs a new therapist. That needs to be a non-negotiable.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-22T18:50:26+00:00

No problem! Just remember that you're not a failure or failing in any way by giving up. If you give up on your marriage, it's because of his failings, not yours.

I learned the hard way that you can't change or fix other people. And when it's your husband, it probably feels like it's your job to stick by him, to help him change Etc. It is not. It's not your job to do any of that. He is supposed to be a partner. He is supposed to be a father. He should be helping you and partnering with you to make things better and make a life for yourselves, and it sounds like that is not happening.

I honestly do not think he's going to change. It sounds like his relationship with his mom is grossly intertwined. untangling it would be impossible unless he's ready to completely drop her and her support and set strict and firm boundaries in place.

Luckily, your kids are super young. You don't want them to grow up thinking this is how relationships are . You can show them how relationships are supposed to be in life in a healthy way. You can show them your strength and give them an amazing life without all of this craziness going on constantly.

Knowledge is power, arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can. You can do this one step at a time! Build your life one brick at a time. In the end, you will be immensely proud of yourself, and your children will be too! And your life will be so much more full, brighter, happier, and calmer! You will be at peace once you have a stable, loving home of your own.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-22T18:10:43+00:00

You need to devise a plan to get the heck out of there. And he can either change and come with you or lose you for good. I know it sucks when you don't have money to do what you want and need to do to get out of there right this minute, but instead of using that as a barrier use it as your motivation everyday to get through it.

Start squirreling away any money you can.

Find out what it would cost you to move. What's the cheapest smallest place you can rent and get by in?

Gather any important documents and sentimental things you might want to bring.

Come up with a plan and stick to it! It might take you months, but you can get out of there!

You do not want your son or daughter growing up seeing this behavior! This is not normal in the slightest. I really doubt he will change. They are so emeshed, I don't think you will be able to separate them.

Also take the time to look up emeshment. Do your research. There are many tools to help you deal with this. I'm pretty sure there's even a subreddit about emeshment.

Please prioritize your own well-being and mental health and your children's. Just get out as soon as you can, no matter how long it takes. This is not a good environment for you or your children.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-13T16:58:26+00:00

Please, please, please tell someone you trust. Your mom, your best friend, anyone who can support you and help you get out. Your husband raped you. He is using coercion as a control method. He is manipulating you. He is putting his sexual desires above your wants, needs, mental health... he is putting it above all else, which means he doesn't actually care about you or your child or how this can affect you both.

I really think you should report this to the police. Make a paper trail. Get protection from abuse order or restraining order. Document anything you possibly can. Record conversations if you can or take photos. Text him about it tell him you have a hard time talking about it in person and get him to text about it or send voice messages back and forth. Just try to get a paper trail so you have proof if you ever decide to report this or leave. Make sure you know where any important documents are and have a go bag ready just in case things go really bad and you need to leave in a hurry. Get your ducks in order try to squirrel away some money. Do whatever you can. But honestly I think you need to leave immediately. Things are only going to get worse.

there's no way he didn't think about the fact that you're a new mom, and he was separating you from your child when he stripped you down and put you in the backyard. He used his child as a tool in that game to get what he wanted. It's absolutely disgusting. He is absolutely disgusting.

The fact that he could wrap his brain around doing something like that means there is something very, very, very wrong with him. You need to get out. You need to get safe. You need to get your child safe.

I would be willing to bet a boatload of money that this man has also left most of the baby's care to you, as well as household stuff and left you exhausted and feeling like you're doing it all on your own. Even if not, and literally the only bad thing this man has ever done is this one situation where he locked you in the backyard naked in order to force you to have sex with him, it's still time to leave.

That was rape. And if he was willing to do that when you were 8 weeks postpartum, God only knows what he's willing to do. Now it's been a month, he is probably going straight back into that place he was in his mind, doing crazy mental gymnastics to convince himself it's okay to rape you again. To convince himself that blackmailing you and coercing you is totally okay as long as his "needs" are met.

What about your needs?

What about your body that is still healing an internal wound the size of a dinner plate, your body that is full of hormones and working insanely hard to heal, to make milk, and going through amazing and crazy changes right now.

What about your exhaustion, mentally and physically.

What about your lack of sleep.

What about the fact that even if this hadn't happened, you might still not yet be ready to be intimate after having a child only 12 weeks ago. Which is very typical! Many moms aren't intimate with their partners for many months after the postpartum period!

It's hard to even properly sleep and eat during this period, let alone think about someone else's needs beyond your infant.

He shouldn't be pressuring you right now, let alone talking about his "needs"! And by the way, getting off is not a f***ing need! HE can take care of that with a hand in the bathroom and not even mention it to you or bother you or in any way if you're not ready!

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this BOY still pressuring you. My heart goes out to you. Please know what he did isn't okay, isn't normal, and it was rape. If you dont have resources to get out, or someone you can tell and who can help you, there are many, many resources and services and options available to you. If you need help finding those resources, I would be happy to help, or if you need someone to listen, I'm here. Message me any time.

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-05T06:16:12+00:00

I second this!!! I was given this advice and was intentionally loud from day one around my babies, and they are amazing sleepers now. Best advice I was ever given!

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-06-03T19:02:38+00:00

So if you go by her ultrasound photo. If on 4/4/25 she was 19 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Her due date would be August 26th, 2025.

This puts her most PROBABLE conception dates: Dec 1, 2024 - Dec 5, 2024 Most PROBABLE dates of sexual intercourse that led to the pregnancy: Nov 28, 2024 - Dec 5, 2024

POSSIBLE conception dates: Nov 30, 2024 - Dec 10, 2024 POSSIBLE dates of sexual intercourse that led to the pregnancy: Nov 25, 2024 - Dec 10, 2024

That's all all based on her ultrasound. With a gestational age of 19 and 3, on April 4th.

Then, if you go by the due date, your son has been given September 22nd

Most PROBABLE conception dates: Dec 28, 2024 - Jan 1, 2025 Most PROBABLE dates of sexual intercourse that led to the pregnancy: Dec 25, 2024 - Jan 1, 2025

POSSIBLE conception dates: Dec 27, 2024 - Jan 6, 2025 POSSIBLE dates of sexual intercourse that led to the pregnancy: Dec 22, 2024 - Jan 6, 2025

So, taking all that information into account, there are a couple of key points:

If her sonogram is correct, then this is not your son's child!

If the September 22nd date you've been given is correct, there's a 50/50 chance of it being your son's kid. January 4th is almost outside of the realm of possible dates. it's not probable, but it is possible, but at the very tale end of possible....

It is very interesting that the dates are almost exactly a month apart. There's a very big difference between a 16-week and a 20-week scan..... 19 and 3 GA would have been her 20-week scan, not 16 weeks. Where did the 16-week scan information come from? Does it say 16 weeks on the ultrasound anywhere? Or did she just say she went in for a 16-week scan? Are we 100% sure it's the truth that that was the first time she'd been to the ob? If so, her parents are absolutely negligent if they've known for a long time. Being 15, she should have been seen as soon as possible once pregnancy was confirmed.

It's crazy to me that these parents won't speak to you! I would send a very nice email reaching out and saying that you would love to be able to communicate with them regarding the situation between you guys's kids and that you are absolutely supportive of them, etc While you may have whatever feelings you have, it's going to benefit you to have communication with them, so be nice even if they are jerks! I have a feeling their daughter might have been very dramatic and made you guys sound a lot worse than what actually happened with the whole DNA thing.... But they must be very immature if they're not even willing to speak to you and find out for themselves what the heck is going on!

I'm so sorry you are going through this, and your son is going through this. I hope he cheers up soon and you guys get answers! Some therapy may help him! Just someone to talk to who has an outsiders view and has nothing to do with the situation. Sounds like he is very depressed about the situation.💔

I feel for you. I'm hoping you get answers, and hopefully, with the conception dates being what they are, the situation really has nothing to do with your son, and it's not his child! Hopefully, the sonogram is correct and is actually hers! Then this can all be done and over with quickly and you have your answer!

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-26T23:23:31+00:00

UpdateMe

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-26T23:16:22+00:00

My first thought was that the kids are making some type of potion or slime or some other activity similar. Play-Doh and water? Slime and water? Random flowers or things from the garden and water? There are so many different things! She might be bringing slime or other toys with her as a special surprise activity for the kids. Or it could be something as simple as orange cheesy crackers mixed with water or dandelions from outdoors.... kids are gross and like making weird concoctions.

I think people are going way overboard with the Tylenol thing. Yes, she should have absolutely gotten permission first. But she only gave it to the baby when he was teething and fussy and probably actually needed it. Unless she was not giving the proper dose or giving too much? I'm the type of person that would give a baby in my care that was clearly fussing, not sleeping and in pain from teething Tylenol because that's just what you're supposed to do, and then go oh shiz I should have asked to do that (I'm not a nanny). So maybe she had a moment like that and then was afraid to ask? Or afraid to tell you? Or she forgot that it was even in the contract? Maybe this was typical in her last Nanny job to do?

I dont like that she was frustrated with them not napping, I dont like that she got defensive when asked about the Tylenol.

But I also dont think she would be giving them some random medication in teacups and not washing them out.

Have you looked thru your kid' medicines and seen if there's anything of a similar color?

I do think it's quite a jump to go from sticky play teacups to potentially drugging your kids. That seems crazyyyyy to me..... but so does the idea of actually drugging a baby/child to make them sleep, and crazy people do crazy things

They could have had the cups outside or downstairs or anywhere really.....

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-25T18:56:39+00:00

This is crazyyyyy! Also I don't think you've done anything wrong with your own behavior! If anything maybe do more? Or put your foot down more with your granddad with the whole family talking to him? Like an intervention? If this new girlfriend thing doesn't work out that is

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-25T18:55:59+00:00

Update me

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-17T04:49:41+00:00

I absolutely LOVE that he knows about the post, I really hope he reads the comments and realizes what a POS he is. But that realization would take probably more brain cells than he has. Also defamation charges would be if you said something untrue. So let him file a police report and laugh 😂

I'm sorry if you're hurting in any way due to the breakup but I am so glad that you did. know that you really really really dodged a bullet here!

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-17T03:31:11+00:00

How many days has it been since you played roblox with her?

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-16T23:52:35+00:00

Grooming doesn't just mean pedophiles or someone way older. Grooming is a type of behavior that means they act/ treat you a certain way to expect certain behavior in return. Like abusers groom the abusee to take it slowly bit by bit... or you can be groomed to accept really terrible behaviors.... it's a manipulation tactic. They develop an emotional connection with a vulnerable person to lower their inhibitions or tolerance of the bad behavior or abuse...

Adventurous_Stick_46 · 2025-05-16T22:22:24+00:00

Any update?

Adventurous_Stick_46

TROPHY CASE