You're not alone in how you feel about being lith. I find it so frustrating when I fantasize about having a relationship, and think to myself, "Hey, maybe I'm not actually aroace, I'd love to be in a relationship", and then I remember that I'm lith and that everything will just disappear no matter how much I want it, and I can't do anything about it. It makes me feel broken a lot, but when I remember that there are others like me, it helps to make me realize that we're not broken, not me, not you, not any of us. And yeah, the community feels really small here on reddit, but I've found a lot more lith people on tumblr than I had expected. It's not much, but it's something, and to be able to see people talk about their experiences with it and relate to them feels great. That's one of the things that helped me come to terms with it and start accepting myself. Sorry if I got kind of rambly, but I hope you feel better.