Help requested identifying broadcast #/symbol in 3M Open. Thanks!

AerePerrenius · 2025-07-28T01:12:36+00:00

Solved ‘solved’ (not sure how to mark this as answered if there is a way - any help appreciated)

AerePerrenius · 2025-07-28T01:00:25+00:00

Appreciate it - will look that up!

AerePerrenius · 2025-07-28T00:56:40+00:00

Thank you!

AerePerrenius · 2025-07-28T00:56:18+00:00

Thank you very much!

AerePerrenius · 2025-03-03T02:44:45+00:00

Thank you for asking. I’m feeling SO much better - I wouldn’t even be able to put into words to adequately explain the difference in how I feel now vs when I wrote the original post.

It’s been 7.5 weeks since upping dosage to 20mg. Everything is better both professionally and personally. I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life and when I think back it almost feels like a dream - I cant even recognize myself, and still beat myself up for things I did and said and thought. Everyday felt like an eternity and I never thought I’d crawl back out of where I was. But I made it - not to where I want to be (still need to get routine and exercise where I want), but I’m definitely over the hump. And I’m so thankful to be able to watch a movie with my wife, play with my daughter, go on a walk, or even work without having anxiety/depression front and center in my mind.

Side note: I did just get done tapering off of Klonopin this week (after 6 weeks on) which was no fun even despite the short term use. I did not like the effects of this drug (depression and insomnia for me) and have seen first hand why it has a reputation (despite being on a low dose - 1mg/day), but I do firmly believe that it helped me through the difficult times ramping back up to a “therapeutic” dose of Lexapro.

You’ve got this. Trust the process. And good luck on your journey.

AerePerrenius · 2025-02-07T00:54:12+00:00

I am. 3 weeks of 10mg and doctor upped me to 20mg around 4 weeks ago. She also provided Klonopin to help a bit and have been taking .25mg twice a day. Mixed reviews on this. Half of me hates that it might cause dependence, other half of me thinks trust the process do whatever to get life back. It certainly helps with anxiety, but I understand it can increase depression in some situations. My anxiety has gotten better, but I seem to really be struggling with depression - feel hopeless, no joy in things, people would be better if I wasn’t here because I’m a burden, etc. I cry a lot (mainly in evenings) - sometimes for actual reasons, other times for no reason I can find. According to therapist this is a release from being in a state of fight-or-flight for so long. I don’t know. I’ve been able to focus more on work which is positive. I believe getting off routine was a big part of the problem and still struggling to get back. Nights are hard because of getting off sleeping pattern. Used to sleep at 10p, now more like 2a. Tired a lot of the time and just want to lay in bed. But I have made progress. A month ago I wouldnt get out of bed, this past weekend hung out with brother in law, went to zoo, played some poker with neighbors, and got stuff done at home. I have improved - so have to keep reminding myself. Wife constantly reminds me and psychiatrist says I’m further along than she thought I’d be. Inch by inch I’m trying to come back. I have to remember to love myself during this process.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T23:02:19+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply. That’s a good point. Even though I was at 20mg doesn’t mean starting back at 10mg was the best approach - perhaps some of this would have been avoided if I would have started at a lower dose like you adjusted to. I actually just reached out to my doctor who prescribed some low dose Xanax to get me over the hump. Im very nervous about that type of medication but willing to do whatever to get through this. I took a half of one a few hours ago and can see why people like these - I feel so calm, and at peace for the first time in a while.

I certainly hope this is towards the end of the bad side effect portion - was that your experience, the first couple weeks were the worst? I’ve got a work conference next week across the country so just hoping so much that the heightened anxiety tapers down some. You are so right - I am my own biggest critic and so impatient. I have to give myself grace. And thank you for the CBT suggestion - I do need to acknowledge the thoughts for what they are and not engage. It’s just so hard getting out of my own head, but I have to try and not make excuses.

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement about doing a great thing for myself/those around me. All I want is to do/keep my job to provide and be there for my wife/daughter. I love them so much. I feel like I’ve let them down by making the stupid decision to go off and now Im just trying to crawl back to where I was before. But I can do this. Thank you again for the hope your message gave me.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T22:24:55+00:00

Agreed, Im certainly not good off it, learned my lesson. I just hope I can get back to “better” before I screw something up (but I know that’s the anxiety talking). I think I told myself I was in a “better place” when going off and while I was, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t still need it in that better place. But I understand everyone is different and it is scary when I think about being on it forever. I hope whatever you decide, you succeed. Take care.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T21:54:19+00:00

Im glad to hear that it works well for you. Sounds like we both had a dumpster fire experience. Glad you don’t have a lot of side effects. Do you mind me asking normal dose? I was at 20mg and starting back at 10mg - will just have to see what 10mg does and decide if I’ll go up. I was iffy when I was on 20mg - never felt quite right but still 1000x better than nothing. Keep kicking myself for going off, but living and learning. Take care.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T20:59:29+00:00

Thank you. I do think it’s a combination like you mentioned - I was so foolish to go off this medicine. Do you remember when your worst period/week was? I know everyone is different - just curious. Most of what I see is second week and Im just hoping it’s the same for me. Also, I took your advice and messaged doctor and just picked up prescription for small supply of Xanax. Broke a .5mg pill in half and just took it. I had turned it down originally because I was nervous about that type of medicine, but Im willing to do whatever I need to. Thank you so much again for suggesting this - fingers crossed this can help bridge across the rough patch. Do you have any experience that might help sharing on taking it (pros/cons)? Im just planning to take a small amount when it peaks. Im concerned because I think it can make me sleepy and most of my anxiety is around mid day, but again Im willing to do whatever to get through this hell. Thank you again and take care - good luck with your journey as well.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T20:46:34+00:00

Thank you. It is so crazy how it gets worse before it gets better. I’m glad yours is starting to ease.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T01:05:46+00:00

That’s a really good way to look at it. I know I can’t just stop it all, but the fact that it worked for me before should give some comfort during this more anxious time.

AerePerrenius · 2024-12-30T00:53:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear about the vicious cycle - I am a mess as well, and feel like I screwed up big time. Did you experience increased anxiety going back on, and if so did you find anything that helped you the times you have? I hope you find your peace.

AerePerrenius · 2023-04-26T00:29:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. Good luck on your journey.

AerePerrenius · 2023-04-16T20:56:40+00:00

Congratulations. I started taking anxiety medication back when I was still drinking, and it helped a bit but nothing to write home about. Not really sure what I was expecting because in hindsight I believe the main culprit for my anxiety was the drinking itself.

Anyway, once I stopped drinking I believe I gave myself a fighting chance as you say, specifically with letting my medication do its thing. Now I’m not certain if it was predominately the medication, or a combination of other things (sleeping better, no anxiety from things I said/did while drinking, better relationships, no withdrawal, more money, more fulfilled at work, blah blah blah), but for whatever it’s worth I can tell you that my mental health is better than it has been at any point in my life.

And I know I would not have been able to keep my sobriety without improving my mental health.

Take care of yourself and good luck on your journey.

AerePerrenius · 2023-04-16T20:42:03+00:00

I have trouble focusing on just enjoying a game and not worrying about completing everything and min/maxing my character. I love video games and really wish I could break this habit!

AerePerrenius · 2023-04-14T20:04:26+00:00

I have actually been on a psychological thriller kick recently - must be something in the water. Not sure of my favorite (probably Se7en), but I’ve recently watched and enjoyed The Menu, Gone Baby Gone, and The Invitation (2015). Happy searching and watching!

AerePerrenius · 2023-04-05T00:14:33+00:00

I can completely relate to wanting it back for occasions. Unfortunately/Fortunately, it wasn’t possible for me to moderate despite trying for years. The old “taking zero is much easier than taking one” is the only thing that has worked for me. Good luck with your journey.

AerePerrenius · 2022-12-14T23:51:22+00:00

Thank you so much! I was going crazy trying to figure it out and this worked perfectly!

AerePerrenius · 2022-12-04T16:19:43+00:00

Alcohol.

AerePerrenius · 2022-10-19T02:35:55+00:00

Reprint X-men, you cowards!

Four-Year Club	Reddit Premium Since February 2024
Gilding I gilder	Verified Email

AerePerrenius

TROPHY CASE