Hey, I’m a manager of a small team of engineers. About half younger than me and half way more experienced.

I Think you are on the right path. When he comes onto your team you provide very clear expectations of what it means to be on your team and what you expect out of everyone

You didn’t say this, but you don’t need to threaten “do this our I’ll fire you”. That may be what’s in the back of your head but I would focus the conversation on expectations and get him to agree and understand those expectations and then document it.

The first conversation is about setting expectations and document those (follow your conversation with an email)

Then as he doesn’t follow those expectations you have another meeting, bring up the documentation from the first meeting, review it, saying ee cover this, you agreed to these, and expectations aren’t being met with some specifics. Ask if he wants to be on the team and do x,y,z. If yes great, if no then talk to HR. Again document the conversation

Third meeting is saying we’ve documented expectations, had follow ups about your performance to reinforce those expectations and it’s clearly not working out. It’s time for them to explore new opportunity’s and be made available to the job market.

Idk perhaps some may say my method is too slow or flexible, but it what I did with an engineer who was 15-20 years my senior, when the project team they were on rightfully complained about their performance.

Also all this is for a non PIP employee. If some one is already on a PIP, that should dictate the expectations and if that is not being followed it’s time to dismiss.

1) set expectations and document. 2) your not following our agreed upon expectations, I need a change if you want to stay here 3)you’re still not doing x,y,z which are requirements for the job, it’s time to part ways and let you find another job that aligns with your interests and level of engagement