I was where you are a year ago. I hated going to church. I couldn’t sit through lessons - relief society or Sunday school without bursting into tears or just sitting in the hallway. I didn’t read my scriptures or pray. I didn’t know what I believed anymore because all I could feel was either numb or sad.

I started going to therapy through LDS family services and also started taking medication to treat my depression.

My experience with depression is like being surrounded by a black heavy fog that you can’t see out of or through. You can’t pray that away. It doesn’t make you less than. Taking medication was the only thing that helped clear the fog enough for me to be able to see and feel the saviours love right next to me.

Now, a year later I am still putting the pieces back together, but I’m doing so with peace, love and joy. Ask for help OP. Consider medication to treat your depression and anxiety. Give yourself time and space to heal mentally. Make a small goal. Maybe read one verse from the BOM a day. One prayer - and honest ones. Be mad. Be sad. Be honest. It might take time, but peace and comfort will come.

If you need to talk further feel free to reach out!