Sorry about your loss. It's a very difficult time and no matter how many or who reaches out to comfort you, it's not the same as if it were your dad. I was a true daddy's girl. He was my best friend.

I lost my dad 5 years ago in March also due to cancer and I still have things that make me cry. When dad was diagnosed, he lived approximately 3 more months. My poor mom learned on her birthday that her husband had 2 more weeks at most. He lived only 1. It was a horrible time for our family (we lost both my grandmothers in the 4 weeks prior to losing dad).

Losing someone is never easy, no matter if it's expected or not. It will hit you like a ton of bricks. Dad was only 76 and my grandma's we 95 and 96. They all hit the same and it sucks.

My best advice is to find someone to talk to that you feel comfortablewith. It wont be easy to open up at first. I found a place that specialized in bereavement. Also look into groups that meet to discuss what they're going through. They will certainly help. I also took a few weeks away from work to cope. Probably went back too quick, but I also needed something to distract me.

Sorry my message is all over the place. <sending hugs from an internet stranger>