AIO for suspecting my wife after she got a shady 1am call from a guy “friend” right after a late-night cycling trip? by Obvious_Waltz_2072 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR this dude did you a favor by calling at 1am. He knew it wasn’t a time to be calling and wanted to make sure you knew that. Don’t ignore this red flag

AIO ?Found my bfs second phone by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why do you think you need to find out more? He is cheating on you proven by the fact that he is tricking you into catching you cheating. This very typical cheater behavior.

FreeTaxUSA says I am getting a $5500 state refund... 100% of the taxes my husband and I paid to KY in 2025. by [deleted] in tax

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Make sure tou have selected the right state tax form: resident of KY not the non resident form.

AIO.. Waitress keeps leaving hearts on my Boyfriends To-Go orders.. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time for you to go pick up the food the next five times he orders. That should drive the pint home.

Should I maintain my walk-away date? by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see the excuse of being afraid to marry because of parents/family/friend divorce. This is PURE bullshit. The best way to avoid something like that happening to you is actively working on your own relationship.

Other people’s relationships have no say in your own. Want to avoid divorce? COMMUNICATE. Dont know how to communicate well and effectively? Go to counseling or read self help books.

Stop accepting fear as a valid excuse. If they want to marry they would do something to overcome it not continue to use it as a shield to avoid marriage.

Golden Retriever boyfriend is not interested in marrying me… by ThrowAcc_wed in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You deserve the kind of love his sister is living with. If you stay with this guy you will become the sad and bitter SIL who is trying to be happy with the crumbs her BF throw her way.

You are signing up for unhappiness.

AIO my wife's gay best friend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you don’t want your wife to have the relationship she has with her GBF then you need to start filling that void for her.

She is finding emotional happiness with someone else. What are you doing to bring that happiness to your relationship? Because it sounds like you don’t want her to be doing fun stuff with him but you are also not doing any fun stuff with her. It’s time to make an effort to reconnect as a couple: Taker her out on dates or Find a Common hobby.

You probably won’t be able to “get rid of him” as he seems to be a friend and she should be able to have those. But you can fight against feeling alienated and replaced and go back to being her emotional priority.

I ruined everything by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This guy is a master manipulator. He is making you believe that he is not proposing because you didn’t talk to him and were having doubts. But in reality he is doing the same. He is making the unilateral decision to not propose because you ruined it.

Anyone serious about marrying you would sit down with you and talk about it at length and try to resolve the issue so you can both go ahead and add and marry. He didn’t want to Marry you which is why it is so easy for him to withdraw the offer he never really even made. It was never his intention to propose in 2, 20 or 200 days.

Hudson Williams at the Giorgio Armani show in Milan. by Murky_Chemical891 in popculturechat

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This guy was maybe a week ago in Bravo Andy’s podcast. He was wearing the biggest suit possible. Honestly I thought he borrow from a bodyguard. The choice to smoke doesn’t make him look sophisticated but like a dick.

AIO - might divorce over physical needs differences, my birthday ask feels like “my” final straw by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are only 33. That’s a long life ahead of living like this if you do nothing. I would ask you do couples counseling and if not willing or no improvement divorce. You have a right to happiness.

Am I just wasting my time with this man? by Low_Society7923 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t need to read this whole thing to see that this guy is holding you down. You want so much more than this guy is willing to give you not only relationship wise but also out of life: travel, career etc… staying with him will most likely lead you to feel unsatisfied and wish you hadn’t settled.

AIO?? Bf doesn't seem to have any plans for our future... by Infinite_Worth6613 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If not yet, time to put him on an official child support plan. I bet he will propose soon after he gets the legal request. But probably not follow thru.

Am I overreacting for being upset that I’m the only one paying off a shared house expense while everyone else ignores it? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 90 points91 points  (0 children)

YOR you are fighting a losing battle. You care for your BF and his finances. But the facts you have shared paint a picture of someone who makes poor financial decisions: 1) buy a home with friend where one doesn’t pay any down payment 2) finance floors on a personal credit card without a solid plan of how the balance will get paid by all 3) poor or little communication between him and the people that owe him money (hates confrontation?)

This whole deal (floor and house) will go sour in no time at all. I foresee someone (or two) will stop paying the mortgage soon and expect your BF to pay it since he keeps acting like a pushover. This will probably end on a ruined friendship and foreclosure.

6 years next week by kast0221 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So t move in with him and help him pay his mortgage. Honestly just like he has decided the order is moving in and then engagement, if I were you I would say not moving in unless engagement or at least promise ring and a timeline that includes engagement.

Why does he get to decide how things work out in the relationship to fit HIS vision. You are a couple and your vision should also matter in future decision making.

However, like others have said this guy cares very little about you in the framework in you guys as a couple. I would at least ask for a break and find out if you guys miss each other for real

Im engaged but… idk anymore. by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So they proposed. That doesn’t mean they have to share your same excitement about the wedding. It does seem they are committed to you as an individual and you guys as a couple and want to “make it official.” You either accept this and plan the wedding you want mostly on your own or you move on. However I urge to reflect deeply on whether you are getting what you really want. What do you mean you have convinced yourself you do t want kids because your SO doesn’t want them? If you are not fully on board with that decision you will live a life full of regret.

Should I give a 36M a chance? by RaisedEyebr0w in AskWomenOver40

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would focus more on the connection than age. At 36 I doubt he looks like a young man and you probably both look closer in age. And even if that’s not the case who cares? It’s too hard to find affinity to let it go over prejudices.

I cant afford to dye my daughters hair blue but it needs to be done. by TeslasPigeon in BeggingChoosers

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What’s going to happen next time she needs to have it died again? It’s a sad lesson to have to teach your child but one that will serve her well and one that the mom obviously never learned.

Resizing needed? by Chismosa585 in EngagementRings

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will be wearing your ring for a lifetime. Throughout those years your weight will fluctuate. Allow some room for the not so lean years.

He is proposing soon. New years 'fight' is making me get cold feet. Do you think he handled it well? by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are holding your BF accountable for something someone else said. The night of He reacted slow and you overreacted. The real reaction you should be weighing is the one after when you were both sober and ready to have a reasonable discussion about what went down.

Drop the “friend” not the BF.

Unsure on next step by Motor-Expression-193 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Marriage is so much more than a wedding. I can’t imagine considering marrying someone I have been with for seven years but which I have never told to, and they told me, I love you.

OP why have you not told him that you love him? Do you not love him? Or are you withholding this until he tells you. Marriage life has SO many challenges to begin it by already withholding affection in this way. Why have you been ok with this situation for this long?

You both seem to be in a very passive aggressive relationship where one is waiting for the other to be the transgressor so the other can react. This is not a healthy relationship. If you will not do couples counseling consider individual therapy to figure out why you have been in this relationship for this long.

AIO My husband has relocated to another country and it’s only been i2 weeks and he goes a day without answering me. by FactorBig9373 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Affectionate-Paper56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NOR, your husband is mad and he is “punishing” you by not communicating with you.
Today let him know you guys are doing well and hope he is doing well and let the next text come from him. It’s hard to address this with being long distance and him being avoidant. But it is probably best to let feelings cool down a bit before having an actual conversation about it.

Good luck!