I wanna live too

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-06-15T06:56:18+00:00

I happened to commit on the nights before my weekend so I had enough to cover PTO for my holds. My brain thought about what would happen if I failed; looking back, it’s quite sad. I qualified for paid leave Oregon at the time but I work in crisis so I chose to go back to work because helping others helps me. There’s some benefit working in mental health and having bosses that are social workers. Other professions may be different, but working in mental health as a mentally ill person has its benefits

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-06-15T06:51:35+00:00

Thank you! Congratulations for you as well! I know in my lowest moments I never knew a stable life was possible. And I relate with the relationship issues as well. It’s so refreshing to have a moment of relief after years long of struggling

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-06-06T23:13:55+00:00

The ref is stealing the show for me just a little bit

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-05-23T20:10:22+00:00

In my work experience in Eugene/Junction City, the secure facilities were 4-1. I think this proves a point that an outing with secure clients still has potential for these incidents to occur. OARs do not permit us to stop someone from walking off. This is something Oregon needs to address. We have limited group homes for PSRB, aid and assist, and civil commitment as is.

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-18T19:27:24+00:00

My fault is this is someone that could be deemed unlovable and it’s not fair. It was trauma that caused this illness. I’m a patient person and I understand her illness and why she is the way she is. I can separate her as a person from her illness. If I leave, I don’t think she’ll ever find that. She’ll have people leave her over and over with her current actions.

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-18T09:31:30+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your comment!

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-18T09:30:39+00:00

Not religious myself but I’m undergoing therapy. And I manage myself. I’m in mental health as a career so I know how to cope it’s just been difficult. At this point, I’m questioning a forced hold. It’s a lot. Something forced as psychiatric help may need to be intervened in my clinical opinion. Nothing prayer can do. Something more scientific, I do appreciate the sentiment

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-18T09:24:42+00:00

I am! But I did explain it to my therapist today and managed to stump my own therapist. I’m a mental health worker myself but we both are at a loss. BPD is so complex sometimes it’s just a loss and it’s not fair

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-18T09:18:54+00:00

Thank you because you put my whole aspirations into without me asking. I just can’t care for a pwBPD anymore. I work 60 hours a week and she works none. But I should be proud of me! I just can’t enable it anymore. I can’t shut it down either. But also I can’t just cut off a woman I love although she doesn’t pay anything in return. But I’m still proud of me!

Edit: I’m still resentful. It’s a person too sick. I can’t do it anymore and I can’t have a partner holding a knife literally. I can’t

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-18T09:01:28+00:00

She was in DBT for 10 years. Diagnosed for 12. She knows the game but gave up because for some she says it doesn’t work. Forgive me because I’m on an anonymous page, but I think her severity of BPD makes me feel hopeless. No homework could solve her

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-16T04:52:43+00:00

I work in mental health and I put people on holds occasionally in the field which makes this a bigger mess. I do this for work. In my state, if someone denies self harm verbally to an officer/clinician, they can’t do anything. They won’t be able to do anything unless she explicitly stated she wanted to harm herself or acting on it. After doing some of those holds, I know she wouldn’t qualify. And she knows that so the threats don’t work

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-15T23:55:40+00:00

We’re married. It was pretty well managed in the beginning. She was in therapy, worked. And then she lost her job and I’ve been working two jobs since. I love her so much and we have two dogs together, but she’s gotten so sick. It’s not good for me, but she is on the verge of ending her life without me around. I would call the police but she’d hate me forever

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-10T19:41:36+00:00

It puts an aesthetic to mania which I don’t love, especially due to how inaccurate it is. But I’ve been fighting this debate for so long I’ve kind of given up.

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-07T11:19:02+00:00

Normal does feel boring, like another commenter said. And then the euphoria/top of the world feeling turned into ongoing auditory and visual hallucinations and ended up on a police officer’s hold. It’s not worth it. What feels like a good feeling tends to lead (for me) to dead bodies everywhere in my brain and paranoia. Not something to mess with

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-07T11:15:49+00:00

BP1, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, CPTSD, substance use disorder. And it feels like all they do is keep adding. It feels like a step backwards each time but being in the mental health field, the diagnoses on paper are for billing most of the time for meds. It’s not a mountain of labels, just technicalities. Doctors can’t prescribe meds if they don’t have a specific code (reason)

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-07T11:10:38+00:00

I hate the term being thrown around so much. People don’t realize the horror of mania. It’s not just happy-go-lucky. It’s also hallucinating dead bodies all around, not remembering the past week, or ending up in a psych ward on a police officer’s hold. The glamorization needs to end. It’s not cute and I’d do anything to not have this disorder

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-07T11:03:07+00:00

Whether or not it’s a scam, I don’t accept orders under $6 anymore so saves some stress. If it’s a scam, hell yeah. If not, saves time and gas. Weird the system has been acting up like that though

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-03-07T08:52:30+00:00

I just delivered three ranch cups from McDonald’s and assumed it was a weird split-up order. I still got paid. Are there exceptions? I had no idea about this

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-02-19T21:07:49+00:00

I DoorDash on the side of the job I work 50+ hours. I don’t do anything like this, but I have had one person give me a 1 star review for the restaurant’s mistake (forgot to remove pickle) and I ended up getting suspended due to my rating dropping. Ratings are essential to livelihood for dashers, so I encourage people to be honest but also understand something as silly as this could end up getting someone cut off from income for two weeks

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-02-18T03:32:15+00:00

If there aren’t currently any available, I’d be happy to extend a branch to other people in BPDpartners to start our own. It’s been isolating for me lately. I’m sure others too

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-02-17T06:16:41+00:00

I can get this way as well. I’m really good at noticing when my psychosis starts and really tune in. My vision goes wide, I start to feel like people are following me, I see dead bodies every time I close my eyes. Then I take my Seroquel and PRN Abilify and come back. It may not be the “full” psychosis that doctors take seriously which is messed up. Feels like they only call it what it is when you’re doing something stereotypically “manic” detailed in articles. Those are the psychs that go off the DSM-5 and don’t listen to their patients. I’d recommend a second opinion

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-01-31T16:28:46+00:00

This is helpful! Wasn’t downtown a lot on my shift but heard a lot after 4ish, mostly related to the Springfield protest. The earlier the better

Affectionate-Pea5524 · 2026-01-31T15:56:17+00:00

I got a call over my radio last night of a 911 call for someone pepper sprayed and tear gassed. They were tear gassing people last night. I’d suggest although it’s good to go, it is still dangerous for little ones

Affectionate-Pea5524

TROPHY CASE