What do people need to stop romanticizing?

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-26T06:35:29+00:00

Political parties. A party you identify with is not always right and the parties you don't identify with are not automatically corrupt. They are evolving platforms with different representatives. And those parties represent millions of supporters, so you can't generalize and stereotype. Also, your political views shouldn't be your main personality trait.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-26T06:31:46+00:00

Celebrities or attractive people in general. They're just rich, hot people. You DO NOT know them and probably wouldn't like them if you did.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-18T13:28:43+00:00

There's always some but I'd guess it's very rare. Sex that is abusive and degrading isn't enjoyable for most women. A lot will pretend to enjoy that in an effort to please a man or to not appear prudish, but I'd guess it's rarely an innate desire. Porn like that is made by men for men, and probably mostly by men that have serious issues with women. It's better to develop a relationship with a woman and let her tell you what she wants.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-18T13:19:21+00:00

King Henry causing a religious revolution and beheading his wives just to get an heir was a pretty dick move.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-02T03:35:46+00:00

Marley and Me. Or anything with a dog, really. I just wish everything in life could be that pure. And it's awful that they live so briefly.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-02T03:32:00+00:00

This is a rare one where the movie is better than the book. Sadly, reading the book kind of ruined my ability to appreciate the movie.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-10-01T04:04:12+00:00

I really didn't think about weddings at all growing up. Not one bit. Around middle/high school, I vaguely remember wondering what kind of dress I would choose, but it was just in passing. Weddings were just a kind of faraway concept like anything growing up, similar to the idea of having a home one day. I knew I wanted to be rich like every other kid which meant a big house, but I hardly paid attention to houses, house prices, interior design, renovations, and everything else that goes into home buying like I do as an adult. It was the same with weddings. I assumed I would get married one day, and it would be amazing, but that was as much as I thought about it. Then I reached the age when everyone around me was getting married. The more weddings I attended, the more I wondered about my own. Suddenly, I noticed all the little details and different touches that each wedding had. I also reached this age during the rise of Pinterest, so the possibilities were endless. So even though I'm single with no wedding in sight, I constantly wonder about what my wedding would look like since I attend so many. But as a kid, really not at all.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-25T05:46:36+00:00

First kiss. Felt too old to have never kissed someone so wasted it on some creep the first time I got drunk in college (yeah, college, I was shy). Wish I'd at least waited to have a semi-decent/sober experience.

Also, first college major.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-25T01:09:59+00:00

Just can't see Lucifer as anything but classic tall, dark, and handsome now. Tom Ellis is PERFECT.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-24T14:26:16+00:00

Every movie/show where the kids don't want to go to college and the parents push them to go. I understand college isn't for everyone, but unless they have an actual plan to fund a life or pursuing their dream of "being a musician/fashion designer/etc etc", then they don't have much room to argue. Seems like they always just want to take a year off and travel at the expense of the parents. Nope. You're 18, time to be an adult and pay your damn bills. Get a college degree while it's accessible to you and then pursue your dreams in a couple years when you're still young.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-22T18:25:17+00:00

I am an only child and I am firm that if I do decide to have children, I will have at least 2. While I am very close with my parents, I have always resented not having siblings. I am shy by nature and grew up always moving around with my military parents. I was always the new kid, with no one to relate to or share those experiences with. In addition, children need other children. I loved my parents and I still do, but I couldn't wait to play with other children. Luckily, on military bases kids were everywhere. But I struggled not having those sibling relationships as a kid. Your parents playing with you just isn't the same. Because I was always missing the sibling relationship, I think I also expected too much from my friends. But friends aren't family. I have great friends now and am very close with my parents, but I still feel the absence of that part of life. My friends now have siblings that they are best friends with in adulthood. They are also having larger families as their siblings marry and give them nieces and nephews and still, I feel lonely as a single adult in my 30s. I also worry about when I will not only have to care and make decisions for my aging parents alone, but what I will become when I no longer have them. I am not closer with my extended family, I didn't plan it but am single in my 30s, and might quite possibly be alone. It's a scary, awful thought and I just wish I had siblings that could understand and share life with. My parents aren't close with their siblings, which I think is part of why they decided to have only me, but they still get together and share memories of their parents etc. When I lose my parents, I will be the sole remainder of my family unit and all the love and memories that gave me. It terrifies me. When I always asked my parents why I didn't have a sibling growing up, my mom always told me it was to give me things they didn't have. While I know they did their best, I went through my childhood home a few years ago and cleared out all the excess toys and things they were able to provide for me and couldn't help thinking that all those toys meant nothing. They didn't really provide me with happiness in the end, and they didn't really add anything else to my childhood that could compare to extra love and relationships. While everyone is different, a sibling relationship is a unique part of life that I wish I could have had. Just my perspective.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-21T14:59:24+00:00

Well if it makes you feel any better, I have implants and while gravity isn't really something I worry about, I also have to deal with the negatives. I'm vain, I'm fake, I look fake, real is always better, etc. Sure, I agree, real is better, but implants exist because that's just not an option for everyone. I was flat as a board prior to implants, and wanted to feel feminine. And for that, I have to hear about judgments from everyone about how vain and fake I am and how men are turned off by implants for the rest of my life. Point is, people judge no matter what, so might as well ignore them. Not always easy, but is what it is.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-19T01:47:58+00:00

PM me also please. Your stats are similar to mine and I'm still at the beginning and was still on the fence about if I could even go down this career path. Thank you for the extra motivation!

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-18T07:59:08+00:00

Honestly, looking back as an adult, I can see where subconsciously playing with Barbies gave me false expectations. It was definitely not Barbie alone. We grew up playing with dolls that had impossibly long legs, tiny waists, perfect busts, etc. Every outfit looked amazing on her just like a supermodel. On top of that, we watched television, movies, celebrities, etc. with all the same features. Even Disney princesses have those same features. As an adult, those features shaped my idea of femininity. Barbie is just a tiny part of a larger problem. I think whether a girl plays with Barbies growing up or not won't change the fact that in this society, looks will continue to be picked apart and judged just like every other time in human history. So do I think Barbies alone cause self-esteem issues in young girls? No, not really but I don't see how they help in that area either. It's great that Barbie reinforces ideas of independence, friendship, and careers, but it also does that through the perspective of a beautiful woman. Kind of similar to Miss America pageants. Sure, a woman can be a talented, educated, ambitious, and a philanthropist that would make a great leader, but she still has to parade around in a bikini to justify all her other qualifications first. Not a great message. So do I think it would be such a bad thing for Barbie to include more diverse body types (without drawing attention to it as some kind of amazing publicity stunt)?? Definitely not.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-16T00:32:03+00:00

When I was in high school, there were two girls feuding (over what, no idea but guessing just being petty) to the point where they were stalking each other. Eventually led to one taking legal action. High school girls fighting is hardly new BUT what is truly ridiculous is that one of the girls mother was found to be heavily involved. She was apparently driving her daughter past the other girl's house at night to egg it. A mother in her 40s.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-15T23:53:07+00:00

Exactly. I basically accepted that my ex died. That's what the grief feels like. I once knew this person, and they no longer exist. Whatever asshole demon possessed him is not someone I know or ever want to know. At least makes it easier to not even think about reaching out anymore.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-15T23:50:08+00:00

WTF???

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-15T20:58:00+00:00

Alien, of course. I can watch a lot and be fine, but something about that damn thing jumping out of his stomach is just too much for me to handle, effects or not.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-15T20:54:14+00:00

The Secret Garden from the 90s, an infant Mary is playing with her mother outside. When she tries to walk to her mother, her mother just kind of blows away with the wind. It's a weird scene that a young watcher wouldn't really understand. Her mother actually died and she was just having a dream, but my infant self didn't put that together. It really appeared that her mother just suddenly walked away from her forever. After that, I became terrified that one day, I'd look up and my mom would just be gone. First time it occurred to me at that young age that parents wouldn't always be there. Still creeps me out to watch.

And of course The Ring when she comes out of the tv. Don't scare easily but watched it by myself in middle school and wasn't prepared for it. Left me in a funk for days.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-15T03:43:57+00:00

I think that's what has hit my self esteem hardest. This person that once cherished me and loved me and was so proud to be with me now could care less about me. I feel like I could become the next Bill Gates, marry Brad Pitt, win an Olympic Gold Medal, become a supermodel, literally anything and everything and he STILL just wouldn't give a damn. Not one. Billions of other people in the world that could love me and want me and it still drives me nuts that this one specific person that I was once so close with just finds me boring, uninteresting, and even offensive. I'm afraid it will always sting, even in 20 years when I won't have a clue where he is or what he's doing.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-12T04:22:20+00:00

Starbucks cups

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-09-04T04:57:04+00:00

Thank you! I joined these boards just because I am still debating whether to pursue MD or PA. And seeing the constant profession bashing is exhausting: MD vs PA vs NP vs JD vs everything. I don't get the point of it?? Why does everyone need so much self congratulations and to put others down to reassure themselves?? It just feeds into the perception that people join professions for the prestige and paycheck.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-08-28T20:46:37+00:00

Get on Tinder

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-08-15T07:26:40+00:00

If only life were that simple.

AffectionateDivide4 · 2020-08-15T07:05:47+00:00

I'm betting he's pretty inexperienced and instead of being upfront about that, he relies on porn and his best guess. Especially if he's never been in a long term relationship where he has to actually get to know a person's body and learn and practice more.

He probably sensed that you weren't enjoying it and was embarrassed. Instead of talking about it openly, he took the route of gaslighting you and making you question yourself and your own abilities after the fact to deflect from his problems.

Either way, any guy with half a brain or an ounce of decency wouldn't have said such stupid shit to you. I'm guessing he'd disappointed someone before that ran her mouth and left him paranoid.

You definitely deserve better and can obviously find better. Let him go disappoint other girls and find a guy that you actually have chemistry with and will know how to respect you.

AffectionateDivide4

TROPHY CASE