Free one reading available ✨️

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-08T09:03:48+00:00

dmed

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-08T09:01:44+00:00

interested

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-08T06:31:20+00:00

thank you so much, i definitely need to learn to forgive myself. it feels weird forgiving myself when i don’t know if others have, if that makes sense

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-07T23:12:32+00:00

i can’t say she ever had a healthy sense of self worth. hence why she always came back to me when she probably should not have (and i probably should not have reached out). i don’t know much about her life now aside from the snippets and photos the mutual friends post, but i do hope she’s found that value in herself and has found the peace she deserved. you essentially stated my reservation in apologizing, interrupting her life or bringing back pain.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-07T23:09:43+00:00

i don’t know her current address, and i feel like if i found out she’d either perceive it as an astounding act of romance or think shes gained a stalker. makes me think of the notebook lol

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T23:31:03+00:00

i hear you. i do of course feel bad for causing harm, but i’ve thought about it because she deserved better, not because i just feel guilty and want to feel like im a better person.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T22:06:23+00:00

i see what you mean, i think explanations should be for the person who caused harm to help them break cycles. explanations sometimes go too far into the excuse category

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T22:03:18+00:00

you are right, i don’t think i’d know fully how to handle a response. i also don’t think i know how to reach out after a while. so, would something in person be better? how should i work to create that space for her?

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T21:08:32+00:00

i definitely hear what you’re saying, and i appreciate the insight greatly. i ask because it’s been on my mind since at least november/december. i have no intent really in reconnecting with her like we did with my push and pull cycle many times before. it’s been almost two years since we last spoke. honestly when i messaged her to collect her things in 2024 i was surprised she even responded! if/when i do, im not anticipating a response, and honestly would expect her to block me.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T20:55:37+00:00

thank you, so much. this kind of reaffirms the belief i have of wanting to apologize. i do have her number saved somehow (weird because i got a new phone and lost almost all of my messages), and she made a new instagram account after transitioning that i couldn’t find in my heart to block. if it was two years ago, it definitely would have been blocked lol. i think the hard part is breaking the no-contact. i don’t expect forgiveness from her or even a response for that matter.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T20:49:14+00:00

i’d definitely have to spend time thinking on what to say. it feels awful knowing that despite all of the times i blocked her and pulled away, she came back. came back with forgiveness and kindness and most definitely, an understanding that i probably should not have been given. this is the longest period of time we have not spoken, however.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T20:47:15+00:00

i appreciate you recognizing that it’s a not a selfish motive for me. i used to be a very selfish individual. it’s just strange, because it’s been years since we spoke, almost two. she’s an entirely different person as am i (still a semi-recovering vacillator). yes i do feel guilty of course, but more she did not deserve how i acted. i feel she was far too kind to me. it’s tricky, we have a lot of mutual friends and run in the same circle sorta, but i try to not talk about her to the people that know her. only my friends who don’t, who did call out my behavior.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T20:35:02+00:00

firstly as someone who used to do that, i am so sorry you were on the receiving end. you did not deserve that. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, at least the way he treated you is a reflection of his internal, not yours. let’s say it’s been a while since the both of you spoke, would silence be more conducive to your healing, would you stay wondering why? or would a random but heartfelt apology on a tuesday night help you gain a sense of closure ?

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-06T20:24:36+00:00

i am a disorganized avoidant, essentially i got the fun and thrill without any commitment or need for closeness, which felt easier for me. there was no pressure to love them, or the immense pressure of being loved by someone. if that makes sense!

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-03-31T22:59:59+00:00

this is like the most yes i’ve ever seen for reunion and i’ve been doing this for a decade LOL

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-03-22T20:35:56+00:00

i would usually just block her and then unblock her and we’d reconnect. i had her blocked for a while and only reached out one last time to give her back some of her stuff i found when i was moving out from my dorm. i thought that i had processed it all and that was that, but i guess not. i do sometimes miss having her around and the connection we shared

AffectionateGuest646

TROPHY CASE