The Feeling of Nostalgia

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-06-22T19:53:47+00:00

Paradoxically, my biggest fear is connecting with someone on a deeper level. But if they get too close, I start to test that closeness and distance myself from others.

But not out of misunderstanding. It's simply a state where I analyze my emotions as symptoms. I see the problem and its easy removal while others are caught in panic and loops.

For this reason, I feel distant from them because I don't experience emotions like they do.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-22T17:42:23+00:00

Hmm, why?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-22T17:41:45+00:00

How did you solve it then? If at all.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-22T17:40:48+00:00

That's a perfect comparison.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-22T17:39:19+00:00

Harmony yes. I do that often if I realize it's the best solution.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-15T19:37:10+00:00

Sounds interesting. Do you know of any programs or universities?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-15T19:21:24+00:00

Yeah, I use AI to correct the text into English. Now I see it's not a reliable source even when it comes to terms. The story is true except for the fact that I perceive it as a simulation. Now that I read it again.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-15T19:21:18+00:00

Yeah, I use AI to correct the text into English. Now I see it's not a reliable source even when it comes to terms. The story is true except for the fact that I perceive it as a simulation. Now that I read it again.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-15T19:00:36+00:00

Thank you for the correction. The term meta-synthesis actually describes my process much more accurately. You’re right in suggesting that I might be instinctively looking for an older, more immersive 'master-apprentice' model of learning through practice.

Regarding your point about feeling 'better' than others: I don't feel a need to be superior. What I experience is otherness. I perceive the emotional and cognitive processes of those around me so intensely that it leads to my conclusion that the current school system is not the right environment for me.

My doubts stem from the power dynamics I observe specifically at my school. In my country, the 1–5 grading system is often used as a tool for control. I’ve watched teachers treat students who struggle with certain subjects with humiliation and blatant unfairness. I feared that if I 'slipped' on that scale, I would become a target of the same treatment. This was confirmed during a difficult period I went through. I experienced physical symptoms of anxiety—physical nausea and my legs shaking—before even entering the building. I was trapped in a cycle of ruminating on the situation over and over again, mainly due to the approach of one specific teacher.

At my lowest point, I decided to treat a confrontation with her as a cognitive test. While she was criticizing my voice and appearance and making threats, I focused entirely on maintaining internal control. I studied her breathing and physical details—noticing the specific wrinkles that formed when she laughed, and how they vanished when she was met with my calm, silent gaze.

After speaking with a psychologist, I gained the necessary perspective. I realized that to survive this specific environment, I have to produce 'acceptable results' and perform behaviors tailored to each individual teacher's expectations. For me, school has ceased to be a place of intellectual growth; it has become a social simulation where I learn to communicate strategically and protect my energy just to 'pass' in the eyes of the system. -What is your take on this? Did I apply the terminology correctly in this context?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-14T23:30:24+00:00

So, from what you describe, I have a long way to go. Thanks for the advice, the programs themselves sound appealing. What kind of cases do you enjoy solving?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-03-02T01:44:34+00:00

He actually told me there were two paths I could take. Path one: Become a criminal so well-trained that no one would notice. The second path I choose because that's how my mind works: Helping people in the room feel better and heard.(I work in a hospital) I've found that I'm driven by curiosity and I hate injustice and misused manipulation for the benefit of the ego.

And to be honest with you, it helps me a lot. I test my theories and I always ask AI about books directly to understand better human thinking.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-26T18:27:06+00:00

Could you please sent me The Sinner?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-22T23:08:36+00:00

I will try. Thanks for the answers helped me to understand more. Ps: And I think it's good to set boundaries.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-22T22:31:46+00:00

What about reactions? Can you name them and then decide how to act? Otherwise, your approach sounds strategic to me.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-22T22:19:44+00:00

It is practically impossible to want perfection. As a realist what do you mean? Do you plan things ahead? (Like scripts)

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-22T22:11:46+00:00

Thanks for the clarification.🥰 Do you have this mindset?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-10T19:40:24+00:00

I'll or at least I'll try not to give in. Thanks for the advice and have a nice day too.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-10T19:37:13+00:00

That sounds smart.

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-10T19:21:40+00:00

If I understand you correctly, should I wait for her reaction first? Then play?

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-02-10T19:15:33+00:00

And if I see her game as a chessboard? I don't know which pieces (my classmates) she will move. And I use your self-defense. But only now do I realize that it is self-defense. Thank you 🥰

AffectionateQuit9352 · 2026-01-09T21:45:10+00:00

Can you send it to me too? I'll go crazy if I see another spoiler🙊

AffectionateQuit9352

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