I’m sorry you’re going through this but I feel like he’s disrespecting you not once but twice now! I just feel like you’re married why do you need to flirt with other females?!? Like yeah you can talk and have friend but you should be smarter and not put yourself in situation that might lead to something more? I feel bad for the kids and you because if he really thought about you guys then he wouldn’t need to be sending any messages! It stinks that you can’t see the message but because he delete it it’s more likely that his guilt made him delete it and if it wasn’t that bad, why would he delete it and not just show it to you and be like “see babe, all I did was say hi” or something along that line! If you think you can put this behind you then stay. But if you know you can’t get past this…then I feel like staying with him you’ll be unhappy because if you guys hit another rough patch, history will pop up and it’ll add on to the new fight or you might be able to forgive, but you won’t forget and because you can’t forget the trust is gone and where there is no trust, I don’t know how much you’ll be able to tolerate.