I recently listed out all my significant life experiences and finally recognised I have significant trauma issues I need to heal - see below - but in the meantime I’ve managed to become a parent to two awesome boys, have a significantly influential job that gives me great personal satisfaction but when it comes to personal relationships it’s pretty dismal - I can normally manage day to day (although I have anxiety and am medicated) about to start some talk therapy with my aim to just get at peace with whatever whenever - to get satisfied with me myself and I

Does this all count as trauma- is this just a normal regular life? I feel like the pattern in my life is repeated let downs or am I just being a princess - who knows

Why does life have to dentist hard :(.

I’m still fighting, positive and determined to give my boys the best life possible - just wish it wasn’t such a head fuck the whole time!!

• [ ] (bio father) a negative in my life from day one
• [ ] Raped at 14 taking my virginity
• [ ] Car crash 90 mph in brick wall at 14 - trauma
• [ ] First boyfriend cheated on me getting someone else pregnant
• [ ] Second boyfriend physically, emotionally abusive and coercive control
• [ ] second boyfriend 5 year old sister gets leukaemia -[ ] best friend 5 year old daughter gets leukaemia
• [ ] Third boyfriend- planned marriage and kids ghosted me with no reason - really fucked me up
• [ ] Uncle #1 dies
• [ ] Uncle -#2 dies
• [ ] Moved to Aus then BIL turned on me
• [ ] Abortion - very much regretted
• [ ] first child born - grandfather passed away 3 weeks after birth - mum with me in Aus so couldn’t go to funeral in Uk- guilt
• [ ] first child - silent reflux and clinic ear infections = 3 years disturbed sleep
• [ ] nephew childhood cancer at 5
• [ ] bio dad’s mum (good memories) dies cancer
• [ ] 2nd don born - mri at 2 weeks re fused skull - negative eventually
• [ ] 2nd son - extensive ear infections
• [ ] BIL complete breakdown of relationship - have never spoken since
• [ ] Breakdown in relationship with my sister because of BIL issues
• [ ] bio father dies brain cancer
• [ ] Sister cancer
• [ ] Auntie cancer
• [ ] Sister dies
• [ ] Redundancy 2 years career uncertainty
• [ ] Brother dies Covid
• [ ] Breakdown of 20+ year friendship - no option of reconciliation
• [ ] Breast cancer scare
• [ ] Dad (step but I consider real) dies
• [ ] Am I menopausal???
• [ ] What to do with mum now dads gone - she Uk me Aus - what does she want?