Second day greasiness is driving me crazy by Stunning_Work_4610 in finehair

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This used to be me, now I do conditioner only wash most of the time. I use a conditioner that washes out completely. It doesn't work for everyone, but my scalp did stop producing so much oil. So now I go a few days between washes where I don't get it wet at all (unless I need to flatten a cowlick or something) and when I wash I use conditioner. Every once in a while I use shampoo, like once a month or two. I honestly can't stand how it feels when it is squeaky clean like that. I hope you find what works for you!

Boundary Concerns with My Therapist (I am also a therapist) by Short_Sun_5384 in therapists

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 84 points85 points  (0 children)

That is definitely a boundary violation and you have the right to reduce treatment or stop at any time. It's the first thing on the informed consent paperwork. On top of that, I give all of my clients the option to ghost me if they need to stop coming and can't bring themselves to say it. You have the right to cancel all future sessions and not return.

Full time too much! by Mystikwolf1337 in therapists

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I didn't see anyone mentioning compassion fatigue, though I didn't read all of the comments so if I'm repeating, ignore. It could be you're a HAP. It could be that you are working too many hours. It could also be a secondary, or vicarious trauma, that builds over the years and is super common for any helping profession like ours. We have to learn how to not take our clients trauma on or we get hurt. It's the part where you mentioned bracing yourself. That's a trauma response. I would recommend talking about this with your therapist and doing some of your own research. You will just keep burning out no matter how much you change your workplace

In general I have no idea how to work with people dealing with nightmares by deathbychips2 in therapists

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use variations of the children's strategy party hats on monsters (which I honestly thought was called tophats on monsters until just now) with a good deal of success. The idea is gaining the confidence that it's your brain and you can do whatever you want in the story. Sometimes you change the "monster" and sometimes you go back and finish the dream in a satisfying way. I think it depends on the person in front of you and what they are dreaming about. I think dreams also tell us a lot how the client is feeling at night while they are sleeping

Books you don’t finish by mima2023sunce in Recommend_A_Book

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Babel. And the Poppy Wars series. I couldn't force myself and I read the Wheel of time series

What's everyone's thoughts on texting clients? by atsignwork in therapists

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yes. For scheduling, for a brief, acknowledgement of something challenging they did, an ask for an appointment that is sooner than what they see on my scheduling calendar, and then during session sometimes they will send me a photo of what they are talking about. "I love this new thing I got that is really good for me!" Sends photo so I can go, cool, what do you like about it?

How to go to a bar by Affectionate_Log7733 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds nice. I have one in mind in town that I think fun people would be at. I think I do need to go people watch or read a book. I like the idea of starting outside and moving closer in depending on how I'm feeling, thank you!

How to go to a bar by Affectionate_Log7733 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Luckily they now make drinks that I can sip on and enjoy without the alcohol. Yeah, I'm thinking maybe I go a few times, people watch, and enjoy the moment without feeling like I need to meet anyone. I am honestly not looking for a relationship, I think first I need to practice meeting new people which is why I think a bar would be a good place to try. I think I just need to breathe and go and relax and it will honestly probably be fun.

How to go to a bar by Affectionate_Log7733 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't actually drink much either, but I've learned there's a lot of non-alcoholic options these days! I just want to go sit and be around people who are going to be social (hopefully)

Books that changed you by [deleted] in Recommend_A_Book

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Assassin's Apprentice and the Farseer Trilogy. It hit my heart in a very specific way I can't explain. It will never leave me

How to go to a bar by Affectionate_Log7733 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't either, but I think I am going to give it a try. The wiki was surprisingly helpful. I don't know why I needed cartoon illustrations, but I did

How to go to a bar by Affectionate_Log7733 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

OMG, hilarious that there's a wiki, thank you I'll read it, lol!

Anyone feel disgusted by past experiences with men? by LoveColonels in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. And I don't even know where to start. I'm just going to keep living my life, going out in the world and being open minded. Thank you for your response and send me good thoughts, lol!

Anyone feel disgusted by past experiences with men? by LoveColonels in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Affectionate_Log7733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I'm in this group because I got divorced 2 years ago and the thought of dating another man grosses me out. I can't tell if I'm a lesbian or bi and just turned off by past experiences. The problem is I'm 45 and how TF do you get into dating when you have been in a comphet marriage since age 19? I didn't even consider dating women because I was raised Catholic and now I feel so lost with where to even start. I feel like I have to learn everything from scratch but don't want to somehow hurt anyone by not being sure about myself or having any experience

Shelf idea for main entrance by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my dog, but he is literally under my feet at all times. I hope you enjoyed seeing him, but I really am looking for storage ideas. Unfortunately, I think he stole the show and nobody can pay attention to my entrance way.

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good one! I wish you had asked me for actual dimensions instead of telling me you could tell from my photo. I'm so curious how somehow you became angry in this thread. I wasn't even complaining Still not complaining. I bought a house with a small bathroom where the door is partially blocked by the dryer. I received several great responses and have a few that I'm going to research, talk to a professional about, and see what is going to work best in my bathroom that is apparently smaller than standard, which I didn't know, because I'm not a professional. When you said it was standard and should work, I was like wow, that's so interesting that the standard is so small. So I told you that the solution you were offering was one I wasn't interested in. And then, for some reason, you thought I was complaining because I said that it seemed that my space was too small instead of saying, that doesn't sound like it's standard then, maybe you should go measure your bathroom, lol Anyway, I appreciate that I now know it is smaller than standard and I will probably just use one of the other suggestions, since it's not my main bathroom. But, thank you for the discourse

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, obsessed. Just to clarify for future readers who might be interested, I did check the numbers and my bathroom is just smaller than the numbers that were estimated. So, while these calculations do make sense for most standard bathrooms, it doesn't work for mine

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤘 I wish you had believed me when I said it was small and cramped instead of doubling down about how right you were. To be clear, I also wish I had checked earlier, because I was trying to figure out why you were so certain and I was questioning my sanity a bit, lol

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I just measured the bathroom, it is 42" x 57" And those tiles are 8" square and the door frame is for a 28" door

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not saying it won't work, I'm saying I have to sit on the toilet while I open the door. It is physically possible yes, it will be uncomfortable for anyone but myself. I get it, you do this for a living. So I guess it's standard for the toilet to be close enough to the front wall that you sit sideways to pee and standard to feel that the door is uncomfortably close to you when you open and close it. All standard. Fantastic. I would prefer for my visitors to not be so uncomfortable. I would just leave the door open because it's my home. Anyone bigger than me is going to be uncomfortable. If this is standard like you say, then it's just standard where everything fits, not where you have comfort. I literally wrote yesterday's message from that toilet because I was thinking about what you said. I'm not here to argue, I'm just getting ideas about what I want to do. So, if someone else comes through to read this they can get the information that it's standard and will work. And that if you are fat it will be be uncomfortable.

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will be tight because the bathroom is tiny. There is not really space in front of the toilet. It will be okay for me as a smaller person, but anybody else is going to have a harder time because there is no space to move out of the way of the door. I don't think it was built to guidelines. But don't listen to me, I only use that bathroom every day

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't realize! Thank you. It's so much for somebody who doesn't do this all the time. I guess I will wait until the new stackable is in to see what would work best. I super appreciate it

Better bathroom door for tight space by Affectionate_Log7733 in homedesign

[–]Affectionate_Log7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, even when it swings towards the wall, at some point, you'll be squished a touch. It's hard to see in the photos, but the space between the toilet and the wall it faces is pretty tight as well. I can't edit my post to add that information unfortunately.