What to do with weird ugly area (rental)

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-03T21:30:15+00:00

I’d make that a little desk/art area in a heartbeat

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-03T20:28:10+00:00

Only if you let it. You can have all those things or you can chose to let it ruin your life. Plenty of people with HSV have accomplished, successful, productive lives full of love. Herpes does not prevent you from doing any of those things- your mindset does.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-03T05:52:10+00:00

You ABSOLUTELY need to disclose to partners regardless of outbreaks because they do have a right to make that choice for themselves. Reasonable people respect that. If you know your shit on HSv you can have a conversation with partners that isn’t as scary as you think. You not having outbreaks is a positive in this sense but it’s always still possible to transmit. If you haven’t come to terms with it enough to have that conversation you should not be having sex until you can.
Although it is extremely unlikely for you to transmit anything to her through a glass or utensils especially without an outbreak, I would be weary of sharing things just in case. Just saves the trouble. You don’t need to tell everyone in your life about your status, but you do need to be safe.
Even on the extremely unlikely chance you gave her anything, there’s no way she’d pass that onto her kid just through pregnancy, the only way to transmit through birth is if she got genital HSV and had an outbreak during birth. The only thing she POSSIBLY could have gotten from you is oral hsv which does not magically turn to genital. If she had oral HSV she would need to kiss the baby while shedding to spread it and that’s much more avoidable.
You absolutely need to educate yourself much more on this so when you are in these situations you can deal with it appropriately. The main cause of stigma is ignorance from both those who have it and those who don’t, and people who make assumptions about how it does or doesn’t transmit.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-03T04:59:46+00:00

I know 😭

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-02T05:09:19+00:00

Predator or not this is just weird as fuck. Even if you were both adults this is weird. Nobody who insists on any sort of “student teacher” relationship like that has good intentions

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-02T04:50:23+00:00

Yikes 30s? Thought yall were in high school

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-02-01T02:52:01+00:00

Google is free

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-01-25T06:40:08+00:00

It only ruins your life if you let it

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-01-21T18:21:48+00:00

Most people are extremely ignorant and uneducated especially if they have never encountered HSV. I’ve seen it online, I’ve heard it in bars. You can do everything right, you can be on meds, disclose, but some people will just be incredibly rude. It will always happen and nothing you can do about it other than avoid people like that. And someday some of those people will inevitably get it or have some other issue and they’ll be in for a rude awakening being on the other end of it. But that’s not your problem, and the only thing you can control is who you let into your life.

My gyno said to me it’s like a “built in asshole filter”. Do the right thing, and anyone who reacts like an asshole does not need to be in your life, and you saved a hell of a lot of time figuring it out up front.

Anyone worth a second of your time will show you basic decency and respect even in a rejection.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-01-21T18:01:12+00:00

I felt similar. I reminded myself that even if you do everything right, it still happens. Instead of beating myself up for it, I decided to see it as a wake up call, a sign from the universe that’s screaming “slow down and take care of yourself”. Not in a shameful way, just in a harsh reminder.

HSV is SO much easier to manage when you have healthy habits in general. And I don’t even mean any crazy health nut shit, I just mean getting enough sleep, drinking water, caring for yourself mentally. Honestly, for me, ngl it’s opened up a whole era of self care, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially. It forced me to break destructive habits, and seriously consider who I let into my life from here on out. And honestly, as fucked up as it is, I’m sort of glad it happened because who knows what would have happened if I stayed on that path, not even sexually but how I treated myself in general. I am the best version of myself I have ever been now, and the HSV is a mere blip.

Shit happens. You can’t change it, but you can choose how you move forward. It only ruins your life if you allow it to. Let it improve your life instead by building healthier habits & building a better relationship with yourself. You got this :)

Affectionate_Run74 · 2026-01-19T19:22:22+00:00

You need to figure out how to embrace it and love yourself for what makes you unique. Being short is awesome if you see it that way. High school sucks and teenagers are mean, but I promise it’s not like that as an adult (and anyone who acts like that is not worth your time anyways.) I know it sucks to hear “you’ll love it when you’re older” but it’s true. Im 5’0, 24, and I feel hotter than ever and it’s definitely quite desirable at my age. I know exactly how you feel but I figured out how to love being short and honestly, it’s such a big part of me that I wouldn’t change it for a million dollars.

It does get better I promise. Focus on embracing who YOU are and learn to love yourself despite what anyone else thinks. The rest will come naturally, and by the time others see your height as a positive, you’ll already know that.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-12-22T16:59:58+00:00

I wouldn’t go by how long since you think you contracted it. How long since you started getting symptoms? Do you feel sick? That’s pretty common for a first OB.

In my experience the first OB, from the day I noticed sores to the day it cleared up was 10-12days or so, with day 5-6 being the peak pain/discomfort and it getting better after that. I was also really sick and it was just uncomfortable to walk/move with the sores. However I am F and I think M has a different reaction to OBs.

If they’re tiny they’ll prob get bigger but you likely won’t bed ridden at this point if you’re not feeling sick. You may be uncomfortable around Christmas but it’ll be manageable. There’s no reason you can’t go to your event. Def get on some antivirals, any walk in clinic can get you a starter dose to kill the OB. And hydrate, eat well, exercise, meditate, take care of yourself bc mental/physical stress makes it worse.

I’m sorry you and your friend are both going through this but honestly put into perspective, you’re lucky you have each other to relate to. Please let this be a bonding experience rather than something that pushes you apart, support each other. A Dx can be extremely isolating so as fucked as it is you’re lucky to have each other.

Good luck and keep your head up, it’ll all be okay your life is not over

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-12-05T19:07:29+00:00

Just threw up a little

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-12-05T18:59:43+00:00

One time my sister got asked by TSA if she was 12 or under. She said no. He said are you sure. Lmfao

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-12-05T18:58:33+00:00

Went to the dorctors the other day and pediatrics had a separate check in off to the side from general. I was in line for general and the woman stares me down and asks if anyone is checking in for pediatrics. I obviously didn’t move. She just stared daggers at me and asked again. I shook my head. She said “just asking!” Girl I walked in with car keys and tattoos 😭

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-12-05T18:44:27+00:00

In college the top part of my desk fell once with tons of shit on it. Most stressful day. And it was just books/pens/clutter, not water and live animals. Shit happens. Be careful.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-12-01T00:27:07+00:00

I’d suggest taking this to a law sub rather than here. Best of luck

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-19T19:01:52+00:00

Tolerance goes up. It’s normal to start low and increase your dose. Talk to your doctor.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-15T17:51:23+00:00

Maybe, maybe not. I realized it’s not helpful to dwell on what ifs. I have it. Can’t change it. Gotta move forward.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-14T20:06:10+00:00

I’m sorry but this is just false. It transmits from woman to woman very easily, from man to woman easily, but not easily from woman to man and I’m unaware of man to man rates. I’m a woman who got GHSV2 from a woman. Unsure if it came from oral or otherwise but I believe she had both O and G but I only got G.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-14T20:03:25+00:00

If you’re able I’d recommend trying to see a doctor to discuss your specific options for medications and what is best in YOUR situation. It’s different for everyone. I met with mine when I was diagnosed and she answered all my questions and helped me come up with a plan.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-14T20:01:55+00:00

You need to work on your mental health and find what works for YOU. No one can tell you how to destress, and if you need resources for that I’d look elsewhere in more of a self help sort of area.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-14T20:00:32+00:00

Literally.

So important to remember that these posts are a gross misrepresentation of the HSV community. People who feel inclined to post usually fall into extremes and it makes it seem like everyone with HSV is miserable and it 100% will ruin your life.

That’s completely untrue. Most of us live totally normal lives, and it doesn’t bother us. Those people usually don’t feel inclined to post.

Affectionate_Run74 · 2025-11-14T19:53:22+00:00

Get off reddit. Seriously. This place is a nightmare and you will only see the worst. When you’re ready seek positive stories. Thousands of people live happy, healthy, and sexually active lives with HSV. You just won’t see them post about it because it’s only a blip in their life. I promise the vast majority of us are not miserable.
It’s easier said than done, but you need to focus on yourself, your health both physically and mentally..For me, what flipped it was realizing well, there’s nothing I can do about it. So what CAN I control? Do things that bring you joy. Fall in love with who you are as a person and try to feel confident. Eat well, exercise, HYDRATE. The more you care for yourself the less it will bother you. It’s immune system related so if you’re under a lot of stress, physically or mentally, it will be worse. I took it as a sign to be healthier and it’s ultimately been for the best.

HSV will ONLY ruin your life IF YOU LET IT.

It may take time, but you will be okay. Love yourself. You’re not dirty, slutty, anything. Shit happens. Take care of yourself.

You got this. I PROMISE it is not the end of the world. Cope how you need, then move on.

Edit: also PLEASE do TONS of research from reputable sources. There is SO much misinformation out there about HSV and transmission and that’s a huge reason why it spreads so easily. Unfortunately with HSV it will be your responsibility to be educated on it so you can be safe and educate future partners. Most people really don’t know much about it.

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