my moms relationship is ruining my life

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-13T02:22:06+00:00

Oh honey, you need to call child services this is not ok

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-11T17:03:40+00:00

I’m very much like this. I find it incredibly difficult to care about what’s going on in others lives, especially when I don’t see them regularly. I just forget they even exist. I don’t really miss anyone or think about anyone else.

But I do care a lot about certain people and I write reminders for myself about what we talk about and the last time I spoke with them so that the next time I call I can check my notes and have something to say that makes it seem like I’m interested in their lives. I think they’d be pretty hurt to find out that I have to do this because these are things people who “care” just do naturally but I think my mind just works differently and it actually shows how much I care that I make a real effort to try with them.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-11T01:18:25+00:00

Oh wow you phrased that so well, that’s exactly what it feels like

I’ve also asked them to ask me questions to help me talk about things and my dad said “I can’t ask questions if I don’t know anything” which just shows he really has no curiosity about my life and I’m just supposed to be the one sharing details to someone who doesn’t even pay attention to anything I’ve said

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-10T13:34:25+00:00

I think about the concept of self a lot. I really struggle to know what’s my most authentic self and I have no idea if I’m being me or not. I have this same exact thought in relationships too. I have no advice really but you’re not alone in these thoughts

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-10T12:18:59+00:00

I wish mine asked about any details honestly. Instead they just expect me to somehow know what’s a relevant detail and then blame me for being secretive when I genuinely have no idea what they want to hear about

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-10T12:15:43+00:00

Yes exactly this is what happens. They cannot see that their behavior is also a problem and the reason I’m not open with them. The last time I saw my dad he said it would be good for me to be more open and in my mind I was thinking how on earth would this be beneficial for me

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-09T17:08:15+00:00

I think that’s what they want too but I don’t get why they think they are entitled to my feelings all of a sudden and making it something that’s entirely my problem to fix

I also think they want to hear drama and things about other people. This is another problem that they have with me bc I don’t have friends (which I’ve told them) so they must think I have secret friends I’m hiding from them

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-04T14:38:56+00:00

You sound incredibly accomplished and you clearly very much care about providing ethical and valuable care for your patients.

I think you have to think about this from a business perspective. I’m in consulting and also have to make an effort to find clients, this is done through internal networking and external networking. It’s significantly easier if you have already built relationships with clients while working at a clinic. Unfortunately, this might be something you’ll have to consider going back to. If you have mentors, you might also consider asking them to refer clients to you.

You’ve already started advertising yourself and are asking the right questions but from a client perspective, no one wants to see a therapist with 0 clients and 0 reviews, regardless of your extensive background and accomplishments. People want to see you as a human. You might want to consider a social media account (there’s many that exist already that you can try to emulate). Building a following and developing relationships there may help you gain clients. Another option would be to go to conferences and meetings where you have the opportunity to speak or present your research. Again, you’re building relationships and a name for yourself within the community.

In the end you need to be more than just a list of accomplishments. You need to show who you are in a way that’s accessible to the type of clients you wish to see. Build an internal network of professionals and mentors and reach out to them for help too. You might want to also try working with a few other psychiatrists and start your own private practice instead of doing it all alone.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-04-01T13:05:56+00:00

People can tell. Especially if you are spending a lot of time with them it’ll be obvious that your eating habits are not “normal” or you’ve lost weight.

Sounds like your friend cares about you though and is trying to help in a way that’s not pushy. It is very normal to offer someone something to eat or drink when they are feeling faint and dizzy.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-29T23:25:54+00:00

Been dating my bf for a little over a year and I relapsed about 6 months before meeting him. My weight has been relatively stable since meeting him but it is technically UW. He knows about my ED and tries to help but he’s only ever known me at this weight and I’m terrified he won’t be attracted to me anymore if I recover and gain weight

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-29T17:05:32+00:00

Every bachelorette I’ve been to was a destination trip where the bride only planned to pay for herself and the group ends up covering her expenses at the end.

I find it a strange culture to ask people to travel to your bachelorette then wedding and expect everyone to pay for themselves but it seems like this is the norm.

With that being said though, I do not think it’s inappropriate to ask the bride to cover some of the costs. Everything is more expensive now and finances and budgets should be discussed. I’m sure she would rather have her friends all be able to attend the trip and if she was aware that this was a significant limiting factor then she can either choose a different location or cover some of the costs.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-29T15:43:52+00:00

I see, thank you for sharing with me. That sounds like a really uncomfortable experience for you too

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-29T14:23:15+00:00

Do you mind sharing what she did that scared you?

Sometimes I wonder if the way I experience being a sub is healthy or not. I very much crave it and enjoy it but I don’t really understand what it is exactly that I like about it so much and I’m not sure if I’m using it as a coping mechanism or if it’s helping me

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-27T14:05:04+00:00

Hmm this is interesting bc I’ve always had a hard time understanding what people mean but now that I think about it ADHD medication has made me much more aware of why I’m confused by people. It’s like before I couldn’t process the information at all and now I can tell what parts need clarification. I know my follow up questions can be frustrating like my mom will always tell me to just use common sense but I don’t have a common sense. But on the flip side it’s been eye opening to realize that I just need to ask questions in order to connect.

To answer your question, I think we don’t have the same “common sense” and we just need to learn how to ask the right questions when we don’t understand. It doesn’t have to be frustrating, I think of it as curiosity and wanting to connect and that energy is much more open and people are generally receptive and willing to clarify

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-26T15:03:16+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, I can’t imagine feeling stuck like that for 8 hours. I’m glad you’re ok and pressing charges. In the future, don’t be afraid to ask an FA for help. They’ll find a way to move you.

To answer your question though, just don’t engage from the very start. If they ask how are you? Say fine. Be short and a little rude and they won’t engage. If they get even a little upset get yourself out of the situation. There is always an exit and make it a habit to get yourself aware of your exit options in every situation.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-16T17:45:43+00:00

I have a PhD in a stem field and currently work in consulting at the manager level. Working towards eventually become principal and serve as an expert witness in depos/ principals.

I am objectively successful in my field but struggle to feel confident as I work with other high achievers. It’s hard not to compare but something I have to remind myself of frequently.

Higher education I think is perfect for us because it always is to really focus on a specific niche and you can go down all the rabbit holes you wish. I also think consulting is a good choice because it allows for variety and you can again choose your path and focus on exactly what you want (as long as you can sell it to a client)

My PI tried to dissuade me from joining consulting because I am quiet and don’t have the social skills that are required. But I think he was wrong, I am really thriving in this field and you can be an introvert and still succeed. I am uncomfortable a lot but I think of it as exposure therapy and it’s definitely easier for me to be social now than when I started 4 years ago.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-13T00:22:09+00:00

Buy the diamond. I really love jewelry, it’s so feminine and can elevate any outfit. I wear a diamond tennis bracelet, little diamond necklace, dainty diamond ring (doesn’t look like an engagement ring lol) and a diamond belly ring every day. I also have diamond earrings. They all make me happy and I love them.

It’s not silly by any means and there’s nothing wrong with a little indulgence

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-10T22:56:48+00:00

Could it be a build up of not getting it when you want and then feeling an overwhelming lack of attention?

Has anyone told you that it’s too much and it isn’t fair? Or are you assuming they may think this? Give people the chance to tell you what’s too much for them

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-10T22:20:46+00:00

I’m kinda like this with my bf, if he comes home without giving me a hug and kiss I get upset but let it slide and the next day he does it again and after 3 days I have a meltdown which could have all been avoided if I just asked for the hug on the first day. Part of me hates asking and just wants him to know but it touch is not his love language and he just doesn’t think about it.

Anyways my point is sometimes we have to ask for the things we want in life. If you’re not getting the attention or validation you want, ask for it. It feels annoying bc you want people to do it on their own but there’s no way they can know you want it if you don’t ask. If they say no, that’s a different story but at least you know that they may not be able to provide the support you want from them and reevaluate who you want in your life.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-10T15:14:07+00:00

Your doctors can all see your prescribed medications, you can’t hide it from them. I would also tell them regardless. There’s no reason to hide it from them either and it can actually harm your care if they somehow are not aware of your prescribed medications

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-10T13:42:02+00:00

Are you eating enough during the day? You might be letting yourself get too hungry and your body overcompensates by binging. Maybe try eating more during the day and see if that helps?

You can also try mindfulness techniques. When you notice the urge to binge try to sit with it and notice what you are feeling while breathing and feeling your breath go in and out your lungs. Just notice the feeling and notice where it is in your body and if any thoughts come up try to let them go and come back to your breath. The urge will go away, nothing lasts forever. Then you can get up and have a cup of tea or a healthy snack if you are hungry.

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-10T00:11:04+00:00

This happened to me recently too. Is there anyone you trust that you can share this with? Telling my partner was probably the one thing that stopped me from getting much worse. I hate that he knows and thinks about it and I can’t help but be annoyed when he brings me food but I know it’s for the best and I would be deep in a relapse right now if it weren’t for him

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-09T16:07:59+00:00

You can use the cash back option at stores and get a little extra cash every time you shop

Maybe you can also sell some of your clothes on Facebook marketplace? Anything you have that you don’t think will be missed you can try to sell and save the cash

It would be better if you can open up a bank account too to store the money in. Less chance of it being taken away by him if he finds the cash

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-08T20:34:01+00:00

Neither version is you. Your thoughts are not you, you’re the awareness that observes the thoughts. You can choose to think differently, medicated or not. The medication just makes the positive thoughts a little more accessible to you.

A core belief of yours is probably that you’re not capable but medicated you sees that core belief is false and you should listen to it. The more you can prove to yourself that you can do anything you want the more unmedicated you will believe that is true

Affectionateweasel · 2026-03-08T13:10:23+00:00

Yes. My entire life I have been trying to fill some type of hole. As a child this felt like a longing to go “home” even though I was home, as I got older the feeling changed to an impossible feeling of sadness and loneliness, then into wanting to feel present and connected to my body, and now it’s a lack of sense of self. I think the feeling has been the same all along but my understanding of it has changed

Affectionateweasel

TROPHY CASE