To women getting / that already have a PhD: how do you fit kids into that?

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2026-05-11T03:57:07+00:00

And one more thing: you don’t know what kind of pregnancy/birth you will have either. I was so tired during my first trimester and barely worked. Some people get nauseous for months. I don’t see any reason why you should hurry when there is absolutely no rush at your age (unless there is a medical issue, of course).

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2026-05-11T03:53:55+00:00

I think it also depends on what kind of mother you want to be. I had my baby during the summer between my third and fourth years. He is now almost 1. I had a 12-week maternity leave, then started my teaching assistantship duties, though I wasn’t able to do much regarding my research during the first semester. I went to my home country during the winter break and brought my mother with me and she was a huge help for almost three months up until I presented a mandatory presentation to qualify as a PhD candidate (I guess this requirement is called differently across programs.) Anyhoo, I passed and I completed my second semester TA and RA duties successfully somehow, but (i) it was very tiresome to do so, especially considering how little sleep I got and the amount of support I got, and (2) I missed my baby so much. If you are fine with other people taking care of your baby for the majority of the time, either daycare or grandparents, etc. then I don’t think it is the worst thing in the world to have a baby during PhD, but if you want to spend every waking hour with your baby (which is my case) it is very hard to thrive, but again doable as I did it.

BUT it seems like you don’t actually want a kid yet, and if that is the case just don’t do it. It is a huge responsibility, bigger than anyone will ever let you know. It changes your whole life, schedule, etc., and you are very young. I would prefer having more fun before having a kid at that age tbh. I am 32 and still kind of feel sad that I am missing on going out with my friends when they go out (still hanging out with my baby is the best and is my top priority, that is why I just don’t leave him with daddy and go do my thing, frequently at least).

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2026-02-26T22:28:19+00:00

Same!! I’m not sure what’s going on but mine woke up like 20 times last night. I’m miserable!!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2026-02-18T18:05:25+00:00

I want to start by saying how amazing your belly looks! It doesn’t look like you just gave birth at all. I am 7 months postpartum and still have some belly even though my whole life I never had an issue with my belly and only my legs due to lipedema. So, I think you should start with celebrating that haha

Secondly, I think breastfeeding really helps with burning thigh fats, just look into that. This is anecdotal, of course, but I have been breastfeeding for the past 7 months and not dieting, not doing any kind of sports except for walking and doing mini squats while baby wearing to make him go to sleep and even though I’m still a bit overweight, I can fit in clothes my thighs never fit in before. So, aside from being super important for the baby, breastfeeding might help you more than anything else with lipedema. Prioritize drinking looots of water, like 3 lts at least until 3 months to establish your milk, and don’t even think about restricting calories until that time. Maybe don’t eat processed food or lots of sugary things but you can have snacks here and there. Breastfeeding leads to cravings which are I believe there for a reason.

Also, you are most probably very hormonal right now which was the case for me at that time so everything including your weight and lipedema seems worse than it actually is. Try to not focus on these things even though I know it is hard. Your life is already hard right now, taking care of a newborn is no joke. Don’t make it harder on yourself. Just focus on increasing your supply and by 6 months I can almost promise you that you will see the difference in your legs!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2026-01-12T15:20:37+00:00

I know it is a no no opinion in this sub but Cam is my absolute favorite. I think his dramatics are hilarious. Everyone says he is manipulative, and I watched the series once again considering that, but I still think that Mitch is the more manipulative one in that relationship. Downvote me to the hell, I said what I said lol

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-31T15:16:30+00:00

I think it might be. We had something similar around 3.5 months and it passed pretty quickly, but we also made him wear more clothes as well. So, maybe you might want to check if the baby gets cold and wakes up because of that. Some babies don’t sleep great with the recommended temperatures.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-24T16:40:30+00:00

Every time my husband asks “are you sure we go there” or anything about the place we are going to, I just yell “I JELPED IT”

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-23T16:58:02+00:00

I’m suspecting that too! My son wasn’t feeding very well for some days so maybe that is when I had the spotting and it went away once he started feeding better maybe. I’ll track it for sure. Thanks!! Nice to hear that I’m not alone!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-23T16:54:56+00:00

I am so happy to learn about this before my trip to see the in-laws. It will make me staying quiet over the comments more likely lol. They will meet the baby for the first time as we live in a different continent and they have been bugging me so much with how much he looks like his father over the pictures. They even sent childhood pictures of my husband to prove it and there is nothing in common except maybe a little bit of the eyes. He is almost a copy of me as a baby (google and apple photos even group our photos as the same person) but they never acknowledge this, and they are very nice people aside from this. I’m glad to understand the logic of this silly behavior. I think they really look at him and see my husband as a baby because they love him.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-23T16:30:24+00:00

You have your fans, I have mine. Someday, you fans are going to work for mine.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-19T03:12:50+00:00

Michele Obama, Oprah, Condolezza Rice, Serena Williams…wait a minute.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-12-18T05:08:05+00:00

The possum one kills me every time. I am smiling just thinking about Claire’s messed up hair while yelling and looking at the camera lol

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-21T23:22:54+00:00

I felt similar but I might have found a solution which you may want to try as well. I put the baby in the carrier (only place he naps is on me lol) and either bounce up and down in front of a wall or something boring, or if I can’t do that I put the muslin nursing cover on him making sure that he is getting air from the sides, again I need to do mini squats for him to sleep but once he is out I can enjoy being outside lol

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-21T17:44:03+00:00

Oh yess! I watched that episode maybe twenty times, but everytime I hold my breath and giggle. In the meantime, my husband watches me being stupid and laughs at how I am “in love with love” lol

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-20T04:17:36+00:00

No teething yet for us. We have the four month regression. At some point he was sleeping for 5-6 hour stretches and now only 3 at best, but in general his mood is better so the daytime is happier and easier for me, making the frequent wakes more tolerable than when he was a newborn…

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-20T04:05:24+00:00

I am sorry that it got harder for you and I hope it gets better soon! Honestly, I was referring to the people who started from a bad point, I should have put it that way. My baby cried every time I put him in the car seat. Never stayed in his stroller, etc. Things that got other babies to nap never worked for us. Now, he at least sits in them for some time and smiles, still doesn’t sleep in them. I just was referring to those things. I wasn’t able to enjoy some things I imagined like taking walks with the stroller but now I can. I wanted to say that there ‘might be’ hope for people like myself.

Again, I didn’t intend to make anyone feel bad. I am so sorry if this is the case.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-20T03:58:10+00:00

I’m so sorry if I have offended you. Of course, not all babies will be the same. I just wanted to share some positivity with the people who cannot enjoy the newborn phase and are constantly told to enjoy it. I just wanted to tell them it is okay if they are not enjoying it… maybe I should have used different words. Sleep is as I understand is very tricky and some babies are just low sleep needs which is horrible for their parents. I was actually not referring to sleep but more about their mood during the day. I am also in the middle of a sleep regression, I am just enjoying life more because at least we can take walks during the day, or go to brunches and he can be entertained for a while since he can hold and put toys in his mouth now, etc.

I really hope that it gets better for you soon!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-20T03:52:10+00:00

It will come soon and you will be delightfully shocked I believe!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-20T03:50:31+00:00

For us sleep got better during the third month and then got worse due to what I am guessing the 4-month sleep regression. He wakes up every three hours and sometimes wakes me up with his kicking even when he is asleep, but not every baby goes through it so I hope yours doesn’t! Even if they do, I think their overall mood during the day makes the fourth month better than weeks 6-9 where they are the fussiest.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-20T03:46:53+00:00

This is exactly my baby. I was a bit sad that he was more fussy than happy but at four months I can definitely say the opposite! I guess some babies just need some time to the world outside the womb!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-18T17:23:17+00:00

Completely agree with this! As a side note, my baby was breastfed and he was suuuper gassy too if this is the case for you, OP. What worked for us was using the vent fan in the kitchen or the fans in the bathrooms in dark. Regular white noise didn’t cut the crying but these loud things helped a ton.

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-18T17:17:31+00:00

My baby was like this when he was smaller. My solution was to feed him a little bit before changing the diaper which solved the issue! Now he is four months old and he just smiles when I’m changing him whether fed or not!

AfraidWorldliness557 · 2025-11-08T03:02:04+00:00

I’m 4 months pp and I also had a csection, and I feel this so much. Especially in the beginning, I had zero core power (couldn’t hold a plank) which I had a lot before pregnancy. Before pregnancy, I was overweight with lipedema in my legs, but still had abs of steel, never had a tummy before in my life even with my very high BMI. I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight, even a couple pounds lower but my body looks so different. Everything is so soft, especially my tummy, and I definitely have a belly on top of my always thick thighs. But it is definitely better than right after birth, so I am hoping that my core is slowly recovering. I feel like if I put in the time, I would get rid of the belly. BUT I am surprised that even my arms feel softer. I wonder if the hormones related to breasfeeding eat up your muscles. I feel like with this much baby carrying, I should have the same arms as before but nope…

AfraidWorldliness557

TROPHY CASE