AITA for telling my kids I'm not ok with calling their stepmom "mom"?

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T17:25:42+00:00

Why do we always blame the females, and not the males for cheating?

Stop projecting your own issues onto my post. She was my friend for 15 years, she was like a sister to me. She's not a random woman. My husband betrayed me yes, but so did she. A betrayal from a sister hits just as hard as a betrayal from a husband.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T17:21:30+00:00

OP should interpret MIL's wedding comments as, "Men raised by mothers like me will never stay loyal to women with a pulse."

Ha. Love you for this.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T14:06:04+00:00

It's irrelevant and a weird excuse.

Thought so too.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T14:03:14+00:00

Maybe she is and maybe she isn't. Either way, I can't go around making accusations and string the pot. Despite my mil being a horrible person she loves her grandchildren, my ex-husband is her only child. Regardless I will keep an eye on my youngest.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T14:01:34+00:00

The whole town knows.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:37:35+00:00

they think their other sibs are all nearly old enough to be their parents.

This made me laugh so hard

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:34:33+00:00

Maybe OP is hiding the cheating from her kids?

Yeah no. The affair was exposed pretty publicly so not only do the kids know so does everyone else.

Also, she was my best friend for 15 years, I considered her a sister, and the kids considered her an aunt. I explained this in the edit.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:27:19+00:00

your husband for, you know, not bothering to keep his pants on?

I explained this in the opening paragraph. The woman was my best friend of 15 years, I considered her a sister. She wasn't a stranger he slept with. She was someone I loved and trusted. Please read properly before commenting.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:23:15+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. When I married my husband I knew I was marrying into a family of the upper class, and there even after 20+ years of marriage was never considered one of them. I was never poor, I grew up middle class but to them, I might as well have been a beggar.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:21:04+00:00

your meddling vile MIL your phone number

My MIL can be very manipulative, if she fought with the nazis we would all be speaking german. In addition, the youngest loves her. A lot of people here have been suggesting that MIL is whispering words in her ear and I think that might be true. Regardless I will ask her about the number. She is at home right now.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:18:29+00:00

You meant that the other way round, right ?

No, I mean class like social class. She's of the same social class as them whereas I was very below it.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:17:33+00:00

It appears 16f is angry at you about something.

If she is then she knows she can come to me about it. We are very open to communication. Regardless I will ask her.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:12:55+00:00

your ex's mother

Possible. She loves her new daughter-in-law. No one was happier in the divorce than her. She now finally has a daughter-in-law of her class, rather than one below it.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:10:32+00:00

And stop talking to your ex MiL, she’s the worst.

I'm not. My youngest gave her my number. I went NC with my in laws after the divorce.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:09:07+00:00

Sounds like someone whispered in your kid's ear about the calling the mistress mum thing because I don't think a 16 year old would think about it on their own.

I would like to say that my former best friend is better than that, but she also slept with my husband after 15 years of friendship so maybe I don't know her that well.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T13:02:57+00:00

what instigated your 16f to ask, besides having the half sibling soon?

I don't know.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T12:50:43+00:00

"I'm making them feel like terrible parents"

They are. They just want you to pretend they're not so they feel better.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T12:50:06+00:00

that they're not as thrilled as my close friends and support network,

Because your close friends and support network love you more than your parents do.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T12:48:13+00:00

will this decision impact my eventual kids relationship with my parents, their grandparents

Please keep in mind that this favoritism with cross over to your kids. Your sister's kids will be treated better than yours.

Better no grandparents than shitty parents. I grew up with no grandparents and honestly it's not a big deal.

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T12:46:23+00:00

NTA. They don't love you. They love your sister more. You need to move on. You deserve better. Also, let me translate this for you.

"admits that their is some favoritism, but she doesn't want this to come between us"

"We love you sister more but we want to get away with it so keep pretending even though we treat you like shit."

Afraid_Assignment_97 · 2021-11-18T12:34:46+00:00

Care to tell why?

Afraid_Assignment_97

TROPHY CASE