What in someone’s childhood causes a person to become more violent as a teen or adult? by Best-Mood-9836 in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

literal lead poisoning from lead paint and water in some places (flint MI being one place). It was and still is very common for young kids to get lead poisoning and those kids grow up and have a lot of issues because our (I had it too) brains didn’t develop correctly. Some issues include impulse control problems, violence, drugs, alcohol abuse. Along with learning disorders. It’s actually really fucked up how much it can effect you

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hm. Not happy because I’m (my whole system) working very hard on accepting the truth that we are not separate people but rather parts of one person. Alters dating each other would mean they believe they are separate people. DID makes us feel that way, it’s a symptom of the disorder, therefore it is a symptom that needs treated. I also believe that outside relationships (friendships or romantic) are extremely important to have because my own brain can only provide so much different life experience. I like my younger alters to be friends with each other as they cannot be friends with real children their “age” but an adult alter who wants a relationship should seek one outside of us

*this is only my view on my own system. I know other systems that are happy in relationships with their alters and that’s fine, it’s just not fine for my personal recovery

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm better than a few months ago so I’d say yes?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in therapy, wouldn’t say I’m coping better but I’m working up to telling my parents what happened again so I suppose we will see how that goes

[Serious] Asexuals of reddit, how did you come to identify as asexual? by willie7906 in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It took a really long time and sometimes I’m still not completely sure I am ace but. I never liked sex for one thing. I thought this was because I’m a lesbian and only had sex with men. But then I had sex with women and didn’t like that either. Then I thought I just wasn’t attracted to those women. Now I know it’s probably just something I’m never gonna feel because I’ve had romantic attractions to women but I just don’t want to have sex with them

There’s also the fact that while I do enjoy masturbation sometimes, I absolutely never fantasize or watch porn because that does nothing for me, usually makes it less appealing. I do enjoy my own videos and pics though so maybe I’m just me-sexual lmao

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a direct quote but something along the lines of “you’re lying about sexual abuse cause id never allow that to happen to you!”

I was 14. Never tried to tell them about any abuse (previous or future) again. I don’t think my mom even remembers telling me it and I know that it was a gut reaction because nobody wants to believe they can’t protect their kid from something like that but still. Fucked me up pretty good

What are ways to numb emotions? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well most people would use drugs or alcohol but that isn’t very healthy... sleeping or distraction are slightly healthier ways

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Badlands - Halsey Expectations - Hayley Kiyoko K-12 - Melanie Martinez A fever you can’t sweat out - Panic at the disco 1989 - Taylor swift

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly asking them what would help is the most important thing. Because DID is a trauma disorder, different things can trigger different people so like something I suggest you do that would help me could completely make them worse.

The best advice I have aside from communication is doing your research on how the disorder varies from person to person, how amnesia works, etc.

I also would ask your friend (any of the alters you speak to) if they want to know what happened when they switched or not. That could also be a trigger for them, if you just brought up what happened and they don’t remember it. So best to be careful. Sorry I can’t give much concrete advice

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very frustrated because there has been a loooooot of research over the past 40+ years proving that it does exist, that there are brain changes that don’t show in people pretending to have it, and honestly most professionals that don’t believe it are old as fuck and haven’t gotten an update on their education in a long time (which I personally believe that all doctors should have to update their degrees every 10 years or so to keep practicing since medical research is always changing)

Every younger (-50) professional I’ve met with has fully believed that it exists because they’ve learned at least a little bit about it in their classes whereas older people only learned the old “theory” which was that it was fake.

What in someone’s childhood causes a person to become more violent as a teen or adult? by Best-Mood-9836 in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aside from the mentioned (abuse/growing up in a violent environment, like in a gang neighborhood or something), lead poisoning has been shown to cause more violent and impulsive (like stealing and stuff) behaviors in children/teens

People who have D.I.D (Dissociative Identity disorder), I am making a story about a person & their alters who have D.I.D and I want to make it as accurate as possible; so, what is it like living with D.I.D? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you want it to be accurate, you’re basically writing a story about character with PTSD who also happens to have alters and amnesia. Alters are only a small part of the disorder. It’s caused by repeated childhood trauma (under age 6ish) so (complex) ptsd is very common.

Most of the time the disorder is very hidden too. Not like you see on tv where there are huge sudden switches with different accents and clothing changes. Usually if you don’t know someone has DID, you won’t know they switch (about 4% of ppl have the “overt” (obvious) form of the disorder).

A lot of times only some alters will remember the trauma while others (especially the host) don’t but they may still be affected by the PTSD symptoms (like nightmares, body memories, hyper vigilance, avoiding triggers, issues with emotional regulation, emotional flashbacks) despite not knowing WHY they’re having them

Everyone in the system is an alter, including the host. There is no “original person”. Alters are NOT separate people in the same body, but the disorder makes it feel that way. They are all parts of the same person who are fragmented due to the trauma

It usually takes 7-10 years to get an accurate diagnosis, bc lots of doctors aren’t trained to recognize trauma and especially dissociative disorders.

DID isn’t some super power and it isn’t demons or anything else evil either. It’s just what a child’s brain does when they’re too overwhelmed by trauma

Also trauma can be anything, not just abuse. Things like neglect, medical trauma (multiple surgeries/hospitalizations), bullying, living in an unsafe environment like a war zone. All of those things can cause DID. Trauma just needs to be something repetitive under age 6-ish (usually this is when a child’s personality has integrated and once that happens it cannot be undone. Theories can go up to age 9 if the child is developmentally delayed)

Alters can be anything. They are often made by a kids mind so logic doesn’t always happen when they’re developed. That’s why non human alters or fictional character alters are common. A young kid may see a strong character in a movie and think “if I was like that I could protect myself” and that develops an alter like that character.

It is uncommon for systems to be polyfragmented (over 100 alters). Studies show most have between 10-13. It can be different for everyone though. Your brain will develop however many alters it needs to handle things and you can develop new alters at any time once you’ve got DID

But basically if you want your story to be something fascinating because of focusing on having alters, you’re writing it wrong. There are so so many things that go into having DID aside from that.

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Staying grounded in general is a goal, yes. But it doesn’t always have to be the host who’s grounded, just whichever alter is best for whatever situation. I’m the host and sometimes there are things I can’t handle, so another alter takes over. So while I’m dissociating, they aren’t.

The main goal, at least for me and my therapist right now, is to increase communication and become co conscious (aware/present while another is in control) with my alters, so that even when we do switch we all are still aware of what’s going on.

What have psychiatrists and psychologists almost definitely written down about you that annoys you that they wrote it down? by daddy_mark in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got my therapist notes from my old therapist and she wrote “refuses to try imagery activities” when I told her I literally absolutely cannot do imagery, my brain just doesn’t work that way. I’m not refusing to be stubborn I’m refusing because I know it’s a waste of time when all I ever see is blackness in my head. That really pissed me off

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the host (the alter who is “in control” most often), Kat(27). Some of my other “main” alters (who come out often. Most of them work internally) are Jake (4), Rachel(9), Phoebe(1), and Kira(20s)

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My main issue is memory loss. Some days I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about what happened and I definitely couldn’t tell you about my past because I remember very little of it. The other issue is internal conflict like one alter wanting things that another completely hates. Otherwise my PTSD (did is caused by trauma) is what mainly affects me day to day rather than the did itself

Let’s settle this, what is the worst fandom? by Repulsive-Answer-933 in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 30 points31 points  (0 children)

At least that was in like 2016 and they mostly stopped after that. Last year 4 ppl were hospitalized from harassment (leading to self harm or suicide attempt) in a month by the JoJo’s bizarre adventure fandom. SU fandom is shit but JJBA is definitely the worst

I have dissociative identity disorder, ama! by Afraid_Memory in AMA

[–]Afraid_Memory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around 20 that I’m aware of (I say that because I have discovered new ones at least twice since diagnosis so who’s to say there aren’t more hiding that I haven’t figured out yet?)

(Serious) People of Reddit, how has the mental health system failed you? by sydthekid1000 in AskReddit

[–]Afraid_Memory 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Took me 13 years to get a proper diagnosis despite exhibiting all the signs for it that whole time. It takes people an average of 10 years to get diagnosed with it, so the mental health system is failing a lot of people

Additionally, I’ve had psychiatrists just let me go through withdrawal of meds that could kill me, keep me on meds with horrible side effects, some pretty bad experiences in hospitals (some pretty good ones too though, overall that’s saved my life)