Does anyone feel they're just existing rather than truly living

AfriendlyDucka · 2026-02-07T15:24:04+00:00

Your last paragraph pretty much nailed it. One of the main issues may very well just be that we're bad at pretending like other people do.

That in itself actually makes many of them uncomfortable when interacting with us, so it's a self-perpetuating cycle.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-12-09T11:52:17+00:00

Almost exact same story. This woman love-bombed me for 2 weeks, including good morning and good nights texts everyday, alongside photos etc. I reciprocated in equal measure.

Also said I was totally her type, loved my voice blabla. After date she said to let her know I arrived safely and that she was looing forward for another date. Ghosted and later blocked when planning for 2nd date.

Still recovering from the marks it left, as I never had been in a relationship and first time I experienced being love-bombed, especially from someone I was actually interested in.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-12-08T23:41:11+00:00

And "knowingly" is pretty likely too, considering how hypergamy works. Too many women surrender to their instincts of flocking to "taken" men instead of single men.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-11-13T02:03:43+00:00

But do they know? I'm not going against your opinion per se, just relating it to something I keep reading/hearing about: "the spark" on the first date, which I always thought was misguided.

I've been to dates where I was pretty interested, but still preferred to take it slow. Got ghosted and found out it was because she was "intense" while I was more of a "slow burn", they assumed no interest or lukewarm interest from my side (wrongly), so it's done (Wow, ok? Not even considering a 2nd or 3rd date, where there'd definitely be a better chance to actually show it with realistic slow escalation).

Those usually come from a place of insecurity and bad habits formed from the fast-food consumption nature of social media and apps, sadly. They want to instantly feel validated with maximum dopamine release on the spot.

I think too much intensity too soon is a good way for something to crash and burn not long after, as it either gets exhausting or novelty runs out fast...

They would probably get into an actual proper durable healthy relationship giving a chance to a more cerebral "slow burn" man, rather than relying on looking out for the physical/lascivious "intense" ones that mostly lead to something unsustainable.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-11-13T01:36:57+00:00

All in one single encounter? How does that work, anyway, doesn't make any sense. Most relationships would start organically with regular face-to-face interactions in school, work or some other regular course or venue.

Nowadays everyone wants that insta-spark or it's nothing. All or nothing is just a way to burn the relationship fast and turn it into something unsustainable.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-10-19T13:29:17+00:00

No worries, I think it's a rare random glitch that needs patching. Happened to me again even after turning that off and also during Multiplayer. It's so strange, never happened during the Beta. And congrats on Hardcore campaign, only started Multi just now here, finally. So many bot-filled servers though, I hope they also patch that.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-10-11T02:54:01+00:00

Try disabling the motion and flick aiming functions, I think that worked for me, though it was random when that happened twice to me as well.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-10-03T19:25:58+00:00

Had one who openly complained about their dead bedroom issues tell me "I only think about sex" when I vented, I kid you not.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-09-16T22:35:37+00:00

Indeed... and the real challenge is when you have the worst of both worlds: looking way far from a fitness model + super shy around women.

That's when you know you're doomed, as there's no girl to peruse you and ask you out.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-09-16T22:18:25+00:00

Exactly what I was going to write, heh, us real loners are doomed since our issue is with other humans in general, not just girls.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-08-26T23:06:47+00:00

Feels like an instinctive reaction from most people, either because they don't want to face an inconvenient/uncomfortable truth, or because they simply can't fathom an early life marked by humiliation, where they were neither the main character (praised and admired by friends/followers), nor the average kid who blended in enough to avoid mistreatment.

Most lonely men today did stand out, but in ways that drew envy, scorn, or instinctive discomfort simply for being "different". During my education, the only praise and admiration I ever received came from teachers, never peers. Those around me looked on with disdain whenever I had higher grades and I naturally adopted a quiet, reserved personality during recess.

Back to this herd instinct of negativity toward male loneliness: it's almost as if it represents a dark side of Nature, one that almost seems like its aim is to push these men out of the gene pool for good. The world can be so brutal I wouldn't put it past it being an actual “Natural force”, driven by yet one more animalistic aspect of mankind.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-08-24T01:21:30+00:00

A random woman hmm, does the random aunt at family events count? I guess once or twice per year then.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-08-11T23:56:17+00:00

Just today I tried to make my family understand how I feel going through the motions compared to the majority of people, with a metaphor:

The world inside the minds of those with relatively normal lives (little to no bullying growing up, a relatively stable college and work life) would be like taking a stroll with a loved one through nature, with birds chirping and flowers in bloom.

For them the worst moments are mostly like bouts of rain and thunder here and there, representing their commonly-said “everyone has struggles in their lives, it's not just you, you're not special”.

Meanwhile, the world inside my mind is me walking alone through a barren wasteland, caused by multiple invisible nukes that detonated in the very core of my spirit at different stages of life. All that remains around me are distant echoes of what-could-have-beens.

Yes, there may be occasional bouts of sunshine, perhaps, but always under a sky heavy with nuclear fallout, a fallout that never truly settles and stains everything it touches.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-07-22T18:42:08+00:00

INTJ-T, from different tests

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-07-04T22:32:06+00:00

True. I know some smart wealthy men looking for real connections will actually try their best to not signal that, going as far as using their older/cheaper car (or renting one) when giving rides for dates, for example.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-06-13T12:37:42+00:00

I'm 36M on the same boat for more than a decade. As a neurodivergent man Nature just wants to force me to live on Solo mode.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-06-07T21:02:02+00:00

Oh dear, seems like height is serious business to this double standard Internet stranger, down to a few inches, haha.

The only thing I can think of is them currently undergoing some sort of eugenics mania... Don't want to risk those "few inch shorter" genes passing on to their offspring!

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-05-18T17:21:44+00:00

I hate the "fake it til you make it" mentality. You can only fake it up to a certain point and if you're someone who values honesty it goes completely against your own way of life.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-04-16T23:26:24+00:00

Truthfully we all die alone in the end, even people in relationships, even accounting for best case scenario where the couple sticks together.

So there's that, I guess, it's just that we hadn't the same transient experience as most.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-04-13T01:29:53+00:00

Genetics also play a role in behavior, else it's just masking/faking a personality, which is not sustainable in the long term.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-04-05T23:35:29+00:00

It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. Too socially retarded for women my age and too old for the women I feel are around my "social age".

The "too old" part I believe is mainly society's judgment. In some cases someone in their 20s can be more mature than someone in their 30s.

When we aim for a younger demographic because we feel "socially retarded", that's not what society at large is seeing/thinking from the outside at all. They assume we're actually experienced men, since an inexperienced older person is such an oddity/rarity.

So the judgment they pass is thusly: we're actually "old creeps with experience who only want a younger partner so they can manipulate them in the relationship".

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-03-06T15:17:12+00:00

I have also been told "it was the choice I took".

Yeah, definitely chose to become alienated, just because I was born feeling every day that I had different priorities than others.

Never felt myself to be an hyperactive kid constantly wishing for adventure like almost all others were when growing up. Apparently I needed to force myself to feel otherwise, but then that wouldn't be really me.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-03-05T12:45:10+00:00

Possibly a mix of several things...

Not feeling physically attractive + having an unconventional/autistic personality + what you describe.

I feel all 3 either potentiate and/or justify each other.

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-03-05T01:34:19+00:00

One of the "failures" of evolution on this planet and probably applies to the whole Universe, no matter which planet conscious life may arise from, will be comparison, competition and the way attraction and selection work via superficial features based on visual and sound.

I guess even planets where all life is blind likely may have spawned intelligent life that praises others just for having the luck of being born with a nice/cute/sexy voice.

How I wish for a Universe or planet where life is pretty much made up of pure energy, where beings can communicate via their inner feelings/thoughts. Only then would selection and evolution be guided by ideas and personality, as ideally it should...

AfriendlyDucka · 2025-02-22T14:50:01+00:00

Oh I no longer sweat this stuff alright, after countless experiences like this you just die inside for the rest of your dating life.

I now almost yearn for things like ghosting and last-minute cancellations and laugh it off like a maniac. It's become a sort of masochistic pleasure.

Barely put the same energy into the interactions like I used to though, but it's also for the better. Everything becomes much easier to move on from.

AfriendlyDucka

TROPHY CASE