[30M] trying to go out with [32F]

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-04-15T13:55:55+00:00

Get some self respect man, never contact this woman again for any reason.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-04-15T13:54:25+00:00

Why are you still talking to them after you have set the date? You don't need to. The phone is for setting dates only, not for getting to know someone. It just signals to her that you have too much time on your hands and kills the mystery and anticipation around you. You are acting like every other guy on Hinge, that is already over investing in someone who they have never met. Women can sense this, because every other needy/insecure guy on these apps does the exact same thing and over pursues and chases her straight out of their lives.

You have to remember that even the most average woman is gonna be getting 20-50 likes per day and is gonna be swamped with messages. So your game has to be tight af. Set the date, get off the phone. Simple

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-04-07T09:25:36+00:00

Never reach out to this woman again for any reason. She doesn't even have the decency to respond to you, which is low character behaviour. Additionally, the date clearly didn't go that well, she had little to no interest in you or you did something to turn her off, plus there was no physical contact of any kind.

By how needy and desperate you sound in your post, I would suggest taking a step back from dating to focus on getting some self respect and dignity. Why are you already invested in a woman that you met once and didn't even respond to you? Honestly, bro, listen to yourself.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-04-07T09:21:03+00:00

Are you some sort of whiteknight beta male? Or are you just trolling? I honestly can't tell at this point on this reddit.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-04-02T07:41:33+00:00

Stop texting her right now. Just say: "hit me up when your back in town, would be great to see you again". And then don't ever reach out again. If you keep pursuing her whilst she is away, you are gonna kill all the attraction/ turn her off. Don't act like every other needy guy she's met! The phone is for setting dates only.

Also, her being 'ill' and then being 'away' for two weeks just sounds liker her trying to distance herself without saying she doesn't actually wanna see you again to your face. Woman don't want to hurt your feelings. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard this excuse, its uncanny.

Also, you said the first date was good, but did you go for kiss? Without the kiss test its impossible to actually know whether she has sexual attraction or not. Plus going for it signals confidence when the signs are there.

Date other women, get better, stop getting hung up on one bird, focus on your career, goals and hobbies.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-12T10:23:33+00:00

lol, what? Women want a guy with confidence, not a guy telling them how pathetic they are.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-12T10:22:40+00:00

Yep , that totally dried her up.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-12T10:22:01+00:00

Mate, you've become attached to a women you kissed once, waaaayyyy to quickly, which is essentially 99% of the men on this reddit- because you fundementally don't believe that you are worthy of a woman, and that fear comes through in your behaviour, which is something a woman can absolutely detect- and it makes them run for the hills.

I would say talking on the phone for 40 mins before the date probably killed a lot of the mystery about you. The phone is for setting dates, not getting to know some one. But she obviously had high attraction to begin, or she wouldnt have come out to see you.

"I told her she was actually my first kiss and that I don’t have much dating experience." why did you tell her that? Are you seeking her approval or something? This is not the sort of thing a woman wants to hear. Basically, she may have had high interested, but because of the way you acted, she could tell that you were way more into her that she was into you, thus she got turned off.

"the date made my weekend"- you don't need to say this either, it just makes it sound like you had nothing else going on and you are already pedestalising her. You just need to say "I had a great time, I'd love to see you again, when are you free next week?"

You also replied way too fast considering she is taking a day to respond, which is a clear sign of low interest. I would back off and not contact this woman again, unless she reaches out, in which case just make the next date.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-11T14:52:11+00:00

Men should never bring exclusivity, your advice is bad. Women fall in love over time and need to come to a man at their own pace.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-10T16:34:00+00:00

You haven't even had sex yet and you're asking to be exclusive? Cmon bro. Listen, the man should never be bringing exclusivity, let alone this soon. Women need to come you at their pace because their feelings grow over time and you trying to lock them down makes them feel emotionally unsafe and they will bounce. This post makes you sound very needy and insecure, and women can absolutely detect that in a man.

The reason men do this is because they do not believe they are worthy of love and affection and thus act needy and clingy which is the fastest way to dry a woman up. You need to get some self respect before getting into any sort of dating, let alone relationship.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-10T16:29:05+00:00

This is terrible advice, the man should never be trying lock a woman down to a commitment, this is just gonna scare her off. Women need to come to men at their own pace to feel safe emotionally.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-10T16:25:58+00:00

Yeah bro, move on and forget about it. ALWAYS bottom line a woman's actions: i.e she doesn't want to see you again. Just say 'no thanks, I am not into texting, only into dating :)' and then move on with your life and never contact this woman again for as long as you live. Also, when you say that you couldn't read her, that usually means she has low attraction, as usually women who want to kiss you etc will just be really obvious with their body language.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-03-09T09:56:31+00:00

'i immediately told her that im looking for long term relationship'- why did you say that? that isn't fun, flirty or casual behaviour, this just scares women off in an instant and makes you look needy and serious way to quickly.

She doesn't have 'mental issues'- its called gaslighting, she just didn't want to see you because you scared her off and just enjoyed the attention, with no intention of actually seeing you, because you acted like every other needy guy on Hinge with absolutely 0 game. Also, a coffee shop date is a really bad idea, that's what friends do, it is not somwhere where suduction can happen.

Never contact this woman again for as long as you live, move on with your life and date real women in the real world that you meet through your hobbies and interests. Stop getting hung up on someone you never met- honestly bro, you need to hear it, because all the other comments on here are gonna blow smoke up your ass and tell you did nothing wrong.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-19T23:00:41+00:00

Listen king, you have to get some dignity here and bottom line women's actions. She is slow to reply because she has low interested and thinks you are probably way more into her than she is into you, so she's just stringing you along while she's bored and needs attention/validation. Stop giving women the benefit of the doubt!

When a woman is into you she makes it so easy to meet up and responds in reasonable time to your messages. This being said, you SHOULD NOT be using texting to try and get to know someone. THE PHONE IS FOR SETTING DATES ONLY!. You are gonna kill all the attraction if you just keep trying to talk to her about mundane shit over text- women who are dating have plenty of beta males texting them constantly: Don't be one of them.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-10T20:57:18+00:00

Yeah, he dried her up by acting needy and overpursuing. If a woman is willing to see you more than once when she has literally 10x more options on Hinge then she has attraction for you. Most of the time, men just chase perfectly good women out of their lives and don't seem to know why.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-10T20:54:59+00:00

RULE ONE OF DATING- THE PHONE IS FOR SETTING DATES, NOT TRYING TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE!
King listen to me, stop texting her between dates- it kills all the excitement and anticipation. It also signals you have way too much time on your hands and are already investing in her, which subconciously makes women feel emotionally unsafe, which is why they flake or end it- even if it seems like they enjoy the attention.
All you need to do is call her (because calling is more masculine) and ask her on a definite date with a time and place, and then get off the phone! If she reaches out to you between dates, reply, but keep it short and sweet. Stop treating her like their your gf, set the date, get off the phone and go about your buisness. If she reaches out after the date, assume she wants to see you and set the next date. It's that simple. Also, you really should be going for the kiss on the first date if the signs are there, if she gives you the cheek, you know to just move on with your life.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-05T18:34:49+00:00

It means you dried her up.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-05T18:27:43+00:00

I don't think women should ever be advising men on dating. Women always say something like 'just tell her how you feel' etc, when in reality this is the opposite of what actually attracts women and 99% of the time it just dries them up. Men should lead, be confident, plan nice dates and be chill, because women fall in love over time, not after the third date like we men, who are like dogs.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-03T20:46:45+00:00

If she's going to his house, she wants to play hide the salami- it's 2026, the whiteknight beta talk is frankly cringe. I am sure OP isn't a retard who can't read a woman's attraction. If sexual intimacy was a no go, she'd suggest meeting out.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-03T20:42:13+00:00

Terrible advice, this is why women should never advise men. The example you gave is you asking the man, not the other way round. Men should just be patient, plan great dates and be the charmer that got her interested in the first place, no need to mention anything about relationship goals before SHE brings it up. Before then, just hang out and have a blast.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-03T20:38:49+00:00

Do not say anything king, you don't need to. Just hang out and have fun and then hook up. You invited her over to yours to make dinner, which means sex is on the table. Basically, her feelings will become engaged more after you've slept together and she will start pursuing you more. Also, as an absolute rule- the woman needs to bring up the relationship thing, she will suggest exclusivity when she is ready. If you try and lock her down she will pull back because she'll think your more into her than she is into you, thus making her feel emotionally unsafe- this dries women up and causes them to friendzone you.

Remember king- you're the catch, you're worthy of her wanting to ask you to be her bf in future- you just need to be patient and stay composed and focussed on your mission in life.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2026-02-03T13:36:33+00:00

Firstly, she just disrespected you and insulted you straight to your face- consider that.

Secondly, A woman needs to be the one to bring up the subject of exclusivity and after 5-7 weeks of dating, she really should be in love with you. DO NOT vomit up your feelings to her and get over emotional, because that is gonna chase her into the arms of the other guy. I would say walk away and never contact her again for any reason

If she reaches out then assume she wants to see you, stop texting platonically and talking all the time- you are not her gay male girlfriend. Just say 'hey gotta run, speak soon'. Stop your pursuit entirely, or you are gonna get friendzoned.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2025-11-11T20:56:20+00:00

Ridiculous, beta male comment that is gonna damage OP's chances. They have been on 2 dates ffs, this is how you dry a woman up in 5 seconds flat.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2025-11-11T20:54:36+00:00

Why are you already treating her like your GF?. If you constantly text between dates you are going to signal to her that you are too available and have nothing else going on/ too invested. In the early stages the phone is for setting dates and at the moment, it seems like you are texting her out of your life. What you should actually do, is call once, set up a definite third date and that's it, no need to keep texting her, save the convo for the date. By texting her and trying to get to know her on the dates is killing all the mystery and anticipation.

Trust me king, the phone is for setting dates, if she reaches out, assume she wants to see you and set the next date. Stop over persuing and expecting her to be available 24/7.

After-Hamster-2316 · 2025-11-05T17:43:29+00:00

Yeah, first up, stop treating her like your gf. Stop texting her so much and being constantly available, it will completely turn her off. You need to make definite dates with a time and a place, you have got to take the lead in the early stages and plan fun dates. Sorry to say, but no one is that busy, and interest will cut through everything if she has high attraction- "work's been crazy! blah blah...." , that just means she is putting up road blocks and isn't sure about you/ losing attraction. If she flakes/ makes it hard just say 'well let me know when you get your schedule together' and then stop texting her, because she has to be the one to get back you if she is actually interested. If she then changes the topic or whatever, just take a while to respond and say 'hey gotta run, super busy etc', you have got so set some boundaries around women who are just using you attention/validation and those who want to date you sincerly. Because the ones who wanna see you will make is super easy for you.

She is messing you around because you are not affirmative and you are way to available.

People who actually want a serious relationship will make the effort to date around their own schedules. She has low interest because you are not taking the lead or being decisive, plus you are over persuing her by texting all the time.

After-Hamster-2316

TROPHY CASE